Jessica Madenford

I'm Embarrassed to Say This, but I'm Telling You Anyway - The Journey to Here A story about how embarrassment and shame can take the reins of your life, leading you down unexpected paths—and what it takes to find your way back to yourself, rebuild self-trust, and move forward.

Your life can look fine from the outside and still feel wrong on the inside.

Maybe you have a career.
A family.
A home.
People who love you.
A life you once wanted.

And yet...

Something feels off.
You're restless.
Disconnected.
Tired of doing things the way you've always done them.
Wondering if there's something more.

And then you feel guilty because you think:

“I have so much to be grateful for. Why don't I feel happier?”

Because gratitude and longing can exist at the same time.

You don't have to reject what you've built to acknowledge that something in you is changing.

If you've been quietly carrying this feeling, you can talk to me about it. Sometimes saying it out loud is the first step toward understanding it.

Schedule a complimentary connection call to see how I can help.

I think sometimes we make change scarier than it needs to be.

We assume that if we admit we want something different, we'll have to change everything.

But you don't have to blow up your life to make room for something new.

You can start small.
Notice.
Listen.
Get curious.

And take one honest step.

If you're not sure what your next step is, reach out. I'm happy to help you explore it.

Sometimes “I don't know what I want” isn't really about not having desires.

It's about being out of practice listening to them.

If you've spent years caring for everyone else, meeting expectations, and doing what needs to be done, it makes sense that your own voice might feel quiet.

You don't have to force an answer.

Start listening.

If you're in a season of figuring out what you want now, reach out for a complimentary connection call.

We can talk about it. No pressure, no agenda—just a place to begin.

Limited intuitive readings available this week ✨

If you've been curious about connecting with your higher self for spirit guides for guidance or clarity, or discovering the colors of your aura and how they reflect what's happening in your personal world, reach out for an evening session.

For this week, $50 for 30 minutes or $95 for 60 minutes

Message me to grab one of these spots!

Maybe you're not lost. Maybe the life you're living just doesn't fit the woman you're becoming.

You can have a good life and still feel like something is missing.
You can be grateful for what you've built and still want something different.
You can love the people in your life and still wonder:

What about me? What do I want now?

Sometimes we assume that feeling unsettled means we need to figure everything out.

But maybe it isn't a problem to solve.

Maybe it's information.
Maybe something in you is asking to be listened to.

You don't have to blow up your life.
You don't need a 5-year plan.

You can start by getting curious about what feels different—and what that might be telling you.

If you're in this kind of season, you don't have to figure it out alone. Send me a message. I'd genuinely love to hear what's shifting for you.

What if you woke up tomorrow and didn't dread the day?

Not because everything in your life is suddenly perfect. But because something inside you has changed.

You wake up and there's a little more space between opening your eyes and feeling the weight of everything you have to do.

You breathe.
You make your coffee.

And instead of immediately thinking about everyone who needs something from you, you notice yourself.

What do I need today?

Maybe you actually know the answer.

You go through your day without constantly second-guessing yourself.

You say yes because you genuinely want to—and no because something inside you says, that's not mine to carry.

You notice the things that light you up again.

A creative idea.
A conversation that makes you feel understood.
A walk outside.
A book you can't put down.
A spiritual practice you've been curious about but haven't quite given yourself permission to explore.

And when you come home, you still have something left.

Energy.
Curiosity.
Presence.

You have enough of yourself left for the people you love—and for the parts of your life that have been waiting for you.

You may not have every answer. You may still be figuring out what's next.

But you trust yourself a little more. You know what matters to you.

And, slowly, your life begins to reflect it.

What would change if you stopped trying to figure out who you were supposed to be—and started listening to who you already are?

If you're craving more of this—more peace, more energy, more trust in yourself, more of the things that make you feel alive—leave a comment below and tell me what's been stirring within you.

You don't have to know what you need yet. We can figure that out together.

You are allowed to outgrow a version of yourself that once felt completely right.

You can love the work you once did and still know it's time for something different.

You can be grateful for an identity and no longer want to organize your whole life around it.

You can change your mind.

You can take a different path.

You can pause.

You can begin again at 46.

You can realize that the thing you thought was "the plan" was actually just one chapter.

I've had to learn all of this in my own life.

I've moved through identities as an artist, educator, coach, healer, entrepreneur, facilitator—and so many other roles that don't fit neatly into one title.

For a long time, I thought I needed to figure out which one I really was.

Now I'm beginning to wonder if the answer is something else entirely:

Maybe I don't have to choose just one piece of myself.

Maybe some seasons are about letting the pieces come together in ways you can't see yet.

That's where I am right now.

And that's why I'm pressing pause on the podcast—not because the conversation is over, but because I want to make room for the next one to emerge.

If you're navigating your own season of change, I hope this episode reminds you:

You don't have to rush your becoming.

🎧 Listen to the latest episode of Creative by Nature.
🔗 https://www.buzzsprout.com/2298576/episodes/19666953-when-it-s-time-to-pause-instead-of-push.mp3?download=true

People often tell me they aren't creative.

Then something beautiful happens.

They stop worrying about making "good art."

They begin listening instead.

Their painting becomes a conversation.

Their colors tell a story.

Their intuition begins speaking in ways words never could.

What starts as a creative experience often becomes something much deeper.
Clarity.
Release.
Self-trust.
Hope.
Permission.

That's why I believe creativity isn't about making something beautiful.
It's about remembering that you already are.

If you've been curious about experiencing this for yourself, I offer private sessions, local workshops, online gatherings, and opportunities to go deeper inside Expressed this fall.

🎨 Your creativity may just become the doorway back to yourself.

🔗 https://thejourneytohere.net/expressed/

The first step inside Expressed is Awareness.

Not fixing. Not changing. Not rushing ahead.
Just noticing.

Where are you right now—really?

Through intuitive, process-based art-making, reflection, and coaching, you begin to gently observe your current patterns, emotional landscape, energy, and inner experience.

You start to see the ways you’ve been moving through your life on autopilot…

The places you’ve been overriding yourself…

The moments where your intuition has been quietly speaking underneath it all.

Awareness is where you stop abandoning your own experience long enough to actually hear it.

Because you can’t shift what you haven’t fully seen.
✨ Enrollment is open
✨ Cohort begins September 15

Join Expressed 🔗 https://thejourneytohere.net/expressed/