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Your dating app filters might be eliminating your best matches before you ever see them. 👀

I tell my clients to **start BROAD and let the algorithm learn what you actually like.**

A few of my rules:

👉 **AGE:** Try ±10 years. You don’t have to *date* everyone in that range, but widening your pool gives you more options and data.

👉 **HEIGHT:** I would NOT filter by height. Only about 10% of American men are 6' or taller. You could be eliminating 90% of men over something that may have nothing to do with your actual compatibility.

👉 **DISTANCE:** Start wider than you think. You can always experiment with tightening your radius later.

👉 **RELIGION + POLITICS:** Think about what actually matters to you instead of automatically filtering by a label. Two people can select the same religion or political affiliation and practice those beliefs VERY differently.

👉 **LIFESTYLE:** Things like smoking, drinking, wanting children, etc. may be much more important because they can affect your everyday compatibility.

And remember: **your behavior teaches the app what to show you.**

Who you swipe on, who you message, and even the words you put in your profile can influence the matches you see.

So instead of writing what you DON'T want, describe what you DO want.

Your dating profile isn't something you set once and forget.

**Treat it like an experiment. Test. Learn. Adjust. Repeat.** 🧪❤️

Would You Date a 46-Year-Old Who Said She Was 33? 👀

San Francisco men ages 35–55, I need your opinion on this dating dilemma.

She’s **46, gorgeous, looks significantly younger, has never been married, froze her eggs, and wants a family.**

But there’s a catch:

Her dating profile says she’s **33** because she’s worried that if she puts 46, men who might be attracted to her and want the same things will filter her out before ever seeing her profile.

So… **would the lie be an automatic dealbreaker?**

And if she *is* going to disclose her real age, when would you want to know?

📱 On her dating profile
📞 On a phone call before the date
🍸 On the first date, after you’ve met in person

I’m especially curious to hear from **single San Francisco/Bay Area men ages 35–55.**

Would you give her a chance, or would the age lie kill it regardless of how attracted you were to her?

**Tell me in the comments. 👇**

“Want to grab dinner sometime?”
“Want to hang out this weekend?”
“We should get drinks sometime.”

Sir… is this a date? Are we becoming friends? Are we networking? 😂

Don’t make her guess.

Try this instead:

**“I’d love to take you on a date. Are you free Friday night?”**

Clear. Confident. Intentional. 🔥

Using the word **date** removes ambiguity and lets her know exactly what you’re asking for.

And if you’re worried saying “date” will make her say no… that’s kind of the point. You want to know whether she’s interested **before** you spend three hours at dinner wondering if you’re on the same page.

Clarity is attractive.

**If you want a date, call it a date.**

If they can't give you simple biz dev stats, they ain't workin' for you homie.

Hire a coach instead. Learn how emlovz can help you find love and keep you in full control.

“I’m dating constantly…so why am I not making any progress?”

Because you’re measuring progress by whether you’ve found your person YET.

Dating progress looks more like a staircase. 🪜

You start here.

You go on dates.
You get rejected.
You reject people.
You have disappointing nights.
You figure out what you DON'T want.
You get better at recognizing what you DO want.
You learn. You adjust. You keep going.

And suddenly you’re five steps higher than where you started.

You just haven’t reached the door yet.

The disappointment, frustration and exhaustion aren't necessarily signs that dating isn't working.

Sometimes they’re evidence that **you’re actually doing the work.**

You’re putting yourself out there. You’re meeting people. You’re collecting data. You’re getting closer.

Stop asking: “Why haven't I found them yet?”

Start asking: **“How far have I come from where I started?”**

Keep climbing. ❤️

You ask her on a second date.

She says: “Give me a couple weeks and I’ll reach out when I’m ready.”

Translation? 🚨

Most of the time, that’s a soft rejection.

When a woman is genuinely excited about you, she usually doesn’t want to risk losing momentum. Even if she’s busy, she’ll often suggest another time, explain what’s going on, or give you some indication that she actually wants to see you again.

So don’t chase. Don’t check in two weeks later. And definitely don’t put your dating life on hold waiting for her.

Take the hint, respect the boundary, and keep dating.

If she wants to reconnect, she knows how to find you.

When she says, “Give me a few weeks and I’ll reach out when I’m ready…” 👀

Don’t put your dating life on hold.

When someone is genuinely excited about seeing you again, there’s usually **urgency and effort**. She might be busy. She might need to reschedule. But she’ll often give you another day, suggest another time, or make it clear she wants the date to happen.

The biggest mistake? Waiting around for someone who gave you a vague “maybe later.”

Take it as a **no for now** and keep dating.

If she reaches back out? Great. Until then, keep moving. 🔥

Want to know what someone actually likes s*xually? Sometimes **showing is easier than telling.** 👀

Try turning the conversation into a game:

You each send a s*xy video you like, then talk about it.

🔥 What did you like about it?
👀 What didn’t do anything for you?
❤️ What surprised you?
🚫 What definitely isn’t your thing?

Why can this work so well?

A lot of people have NEVER learned how to comfortably talk about s*x. They might not even have the vocabulary to explain exactly what they like.

But give them something to react to? Suddenly the conversation gets a whole lot easier.

And you’re not just building s*xual tension. You’re learning about compatibility, preferences, boundaries, and each other.

Obviously, this only works when **both consenting adults are genuinely comfortable participating.**

Sexual compatibility shouldn’t be something you discover six months into a relationship because everyone was too embarrassed to talk about it.

Would you play this game with someone you were dating? 👀👇

How soon is TOO soon to talk about s*x when dating? 👀

Personally? When I was single, I talked about s*x EARLY. Sometimes even before the first date.

I’m s*x-positive, and for me, s*xual compatibility and chemistry mattered. If I wasn’t flirting or talking about s*x at all, there was a decent chance I just wasn’t that interested. 😂

But here’s the important part:

**That does NOT mean everyone wants to talk about s*x early.**

The skill isn’t “get s*xual as fast as possible.”

It’s learning how to **gauge buy-in.**

You push the envelope *slightly* with something playful or flirtatious.

Do they engage and flirt back? You can explore a little more.

Do they change the subject, seem uncomfortable, or pull back? Cool it.

Attraction isn’t about forcing s*xual tension.

It’s about creating an opening and paying attention to whether the other person enthusiastically walks through it with you.

**Flirt. Pay attention. Respect the response.**

When do YOU think it’s appropriate to start talking about s*x when dating? 👇

Be not afraid of trying and failing. Be afraid of failing to try.

Be worried about your romantic life when you're NOT tired from dating. Be hopeless about finding love when you're NOT discouraged from going on a date. Be concerned about your love life when you're NOT feeling frustrated. Inaction is what you should fear.

To get what you want in life, you must face rejection, fear, frustration, and discouragement. The NOT facing it is the real problem.

Learn how we fail forward at emlovz.com