Holistic Self-Confidence

It's out! Enjoy a great conversation with midlife coach, CEO of Sovereignty Enterprises, and host Denise Drinkwalter, MEd, on the "Thrive After 45" podcast. Thanks again, Denise, for having me as a guest! Buzzsprout link in comments:

Proof Over Permission with Alexandra Dotcheva Podcast Episode · Thrive After 45™ l Midlife Identity, Purpose & Reinvention for Women Over 45 · August 20 · 28m

Midlife mentor Denise Drinkwalter has a fantastic podcast called "Thrive After 45"! Our conversation will be available on Thursday. Thank you for having me as a guest, Denise! It truly was a pleasure!

Are you stuck contemplating great accomplishments through major life changes but worried about your life partner’s reaction upon hearing you out? This is completely understandable, and you are absolutely not alone! You probably already know that the magnitude of a loved one’s resistance can correlate closely with the magnitude of your desired change – the greater the change, the greater the opposition. Would your spouse or significant other feel inspired, curious, neutral, inconvenienced, or threatened by your dream?

The good news is, there’s just about one way to find out. This is the easy part. The harder part is understanding that, in many cases, his or her reaction, important is it may seem, doesn’t matter as much as many people think. What matters more is your choice as to what you’d both gain out of it or what you’d resolve to let go of in your specific relationship situation.

I’ll give you three examples in relation to the strength of your determination to achieve a life-changing goal:
1. Your partner is fully supportive of your decision and shows genuine commitment to help you out in any way possible. Would you abandon the pursuit of your dream if your partner changes his/her mind in the middle of it all? If so, you are relying on this support as a crutch, which indicates a compromise in your inner determination.
2. Your partner feels neutral or has some valid concerns (time commitment, financial implications, etc.), yet he or she doesn’t stop you from going after your goals. What would you do? Is this enough or not enough support on their part? Would you keep hesitating or will you be off to the races?
3. Your partner is adamantly opposed to your vision for a better life and does/says everything that comes to mind to prevent you from taking action. Would you give up on your dream? If so, you may be using his or her behavior as an excuse for not taking the risk and going for it!

Do you see that what matters most here is the strength of your own inner conviction in the value of your desired change? Conviction grows determination, and determination knows no boundaries. Determination is a powerful communicator that oftentimes delivers better outcomes during challenging conversations while remaining mutually respectful to each other’s views. Fear opposition not: it’ll only help you strengthen your plan, especially if you choose in advance to grow from the experience instead of allowing it to shrink your confidence!

Many thanks to Max Njist, substance abuse recovery coach, motivational speaker, author, and founder of Fearless Happyness Coaching and Consulting, for this inspiring conversation on The Fearless Happyness Podcast! A link to his website is in the comments, if you know of a friend or loved one who would greatly benefit from his coaching. Your podcast rocks, Max Nijst!

Violinist Whose Career Pivot At 32 Changed Everything For The Be… In this engaging conversation, Max and Alexandra Dotcheva explore her remarkable journey from a professional violinist to a holistic confidence coach, author, and i…

Thirty-two and already in a midlife crisis? Yes, I remember that time like yesterday! Let’s see if this helps:

I found out that the real reason nothing seemed to work out in my life in my early thirties was simply that I was quite demoralized by my own lack of initiative, curiosity, and risk-taking ability. But what really helped at the time was this weird internal spark of desire to finally put this mindset to rest and take the first and then the next step towards the unknown, no matter the outcome, because the burden of my denying myself the slightest chance to make progress in a different direction had become truly unbearable.

You, too, can do this! Just let yourself! https://www.holisticselfconfidence.com/shop

I’ve heard many people say that being able to do multiple pull-ups in a single gym session must be “really cool.” It is, indeed, cool, but not for the reasons most of those who enviously watch others perform pull-ups might think.

Sure, you could show off. But why would you go through the immense effort of mastering one of the hardest exercises just for show? What’s the real reason behind your wish to have the endurance that would allow you to blast 50, 80, or 100 pull-ups?

Do you want the mental stamina along with the physical strength that comes with this learning curve?

Do you want to build the patience it takes to perform multiple high-quality, full-range-of-motion pull-ups in a gym session that would subsequently help you persevere through other challenging life situations?

Or maybe you want to see for yourself that you can do it and, therefore, begin to trust you’re capable of learning other things you’d love to be able to do well now but, for whatever reason, haven’t ventured into them yet?

So, why is it, really, that you wish you were good at pull-ups or at any other taxing physical exercise, for that matter?

Remember to clean your organic produce from pesticides! 1 tbsp of baking soda and 1 tbsp of sea salt per 2 lbs. of produce, soak in water for 30 minutes. Rinse, dry, store. Repeat next week.

It may seem time-consuming, but having done it for three years now with 100% consistency, I promise you that it is manageable! All I do is shop once a week and batch-clean/dry/store for a week. Plan the night before you go shopping! You can do this!

Make sure to get produce of every color to help your amazing body enjoy true health through the whole complex spectrum of vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants! Purple, green, red, yellow, and orange for your immune system, hormone balance, heart, brain, gut health, energy, everything!

Website and Amazon links to my holistic confidence guide are in the comment below. It goes way beyond health! E-book at same price everywhere, paperback available only through my website.

Organic vs. Non-GMO

People often get confused by the many labels on produce and packaged foods and just give up on reading these. There are several principles that, once learned, stick with you and help you make better decisions when it comes to your food and, subsequently, health. The difference between organic and non-GMO, for example, still perplexes many but it really isn’t as complicated as it seems.

Non-GMO means that the product hasn’t been grown from genetically modified seeds, which make the entire plant toxic and harmful to health in the long term. GMOs have long been associated with increased cancer risk. The list of GMO products changes slightly every year or so, and these tend to be cheaper than organic products. The other problem is that there are many companies who will put a non-GMO label on their products, without said products actually being GMO-free. Research companies and never trust them wholeheartedly.

When a product is certified organic, on the other hand, the promise of the producer is that they have not used seeds loaded with pesticides AND that the soil they’re growing their produce in has at least 50 minerals, as opposed to the soil used for conventionally grown produce that contains fewer than ten minerals, leading to the poor nutritional quality of the plants grown in it. Do commercial organic companies cut corners to reduce costs and increase profits regardless of regulations? There are several reports that confirm this consumers’ fear. Yet your best bet is still on organic. For now. Just make sure you wash it really, really well, for starters (yes, the half-hour baking soda and sea salt soak is exactly what I’m talking about).

Also, be mindful of the hundreds of products that are not labeled one way or the other and do your best to stay away from those. These belong to the shelf – the store’s, not yours. There are many corporations such as grocery stores or fast-food franchises with non-existing ethical standards that have worked hard over the years to get the labeling requirements removed altogether, so they wouldn’t be held accountable for, basically, making money by selling pure poison to their customers. Know which ones these are in your area and take your business elsewhere if you can. Nobody is to ever put a price on your health!

How People-Pleasing Behaviors Can Negatively Impact Quality of Life Without Notice

I spend a full coaching session discussing people-pleasing tendencies with holistic confidence and integrative functional medicine clients, as being aware of having such predispositions is crucial to developing critical thinking skills and independence in making life-changing decisions. Among the items included in initial client stress-level assessments is an account on how strongly they believe that regularly agreeing with and doing as others say in order not to hurt their feelings, or striving to ruffle someone’s feathers as minimally as possible, would be beneficial to their long-term relationships with various people. I was surprised to find out at the beginning of my coaching path how many people felt genuinely uncomfortable with saying “no,” even in situations where they hardly had any good personal or financial reasons to “go with the flow.” No wonder their confidence was low while their cortisol levels were often elevated and in need of serious attention!

There’s a common misconception that, when we routinely go out of our way to please those around us, it might help elevate stress at work or at home, because they’ll likely choose to treat us more favorably. While this may hold weight on the surface, nothing could be further from the truth when differences in viewpoints have direct impact on your long-term well-being and when honest communication is called for. Not surprisingly, those who’ve displayed people-pleasing attitudes for years find it challenging to express themselves without guilt or fear of judgment, as they’ve let such attitudes play a role in every environment that’s connected to their lives, none of which they’re realistically able to leave right this moment. Consequently, they end up facing initial backlash from people who’ve become accustomed to little, if any, opposition.

If you tend to please people left and right, just because it was instilled in you early on that this was the way to advance safely in life, but you’ve now come to the realization that there might be better ways after all, how does your new identity confront this tendency and the inconveniences of taking a different action from now on? It all depends on how tired you are of your current state of affairs and how pressing a need is to implement true change for all it’s worth. The best part is, you already have answers!

A meaningful change that starts with you and proves hard to bring to realization by fearing that the best solutions would cause conflict in your relationships, is most likely the very change you’ve wanted for a long time but haven’t dared pursue for all the wrong reasons! Once this truth settles in your mind, the significance of others’ opinions will begin to fade at a steady pace. I hope you’re beyond tired of your present situation and eager to take up the risk and confidently move forward despite people’s talk, if you are reading this post! I was once there and I still remember the feeling, so quit being a people-pleaser and get your life in order, one step at a time! You’ve got this!