Tamara Driskell, LMHC

The office is open. Bring your contradictions.

The part of you that desperately wants to be liked, and the part of you that would rather be free than approved of…

The part of you that desperately wants to belong and fit in, and the part of you dying to tell society to f**k off…

The part of you that knows you’re capable of more and is deaperate to prove to yourself that you can, and the part of you terrified of standing out from the crowd and being s**t on…

The part of you that wants to earn more money, and the part of you that feels guilty if others don’t…

The part of you that desperately craves a soulmate, relationship, and the part of you that is so over the dating apps and being disappointed…

The part of you that would love to be a kinky slut, and the part of you that just wants to be held and savored…

The part of you that no longer gets down with organized religion, and the part of you that still can’t help but feel as though there is something greater than you out there connecting us all…

I’ve learned the forbidden questions are usually the right ones. And I’m here for them all.

I make a living out of existential rebellion, and whenever you’re ready, I’ll help you write your own prescription for life.

A day in the life of an existential therapist. Life. Death. S*x. Money. Power. You know… the light stuff. 😏

Isn’t it weird when the people who claim they love you the most are often the ones who can’t be happy for your happiness?

It’s a common phenomenon and there are multiple possibilities as to why it happens.

Sometimes, people have just gotten used to the way things used to be… they were comfortable, even if things were not always so healthy because it was familiar.

And now here you go upsetting the proverbial apple cart with your healthier lifestyle and healing.

Can take some getting used to. But that’s not your problem. That’s for them to figure out.

Other times, it’s a more subconscious defense mechanism because your happiness triggers their feelings of lack. And for whatever myriad of reasons, they’re not quite ready to give themselves the possibility to have the same.

Don’t take it personally. Even if they wish you would, lol.

Keep your eyes on your own goals. Chase your own horizon.

Life is too short to wait for other people to get on board.

**kwitable

Instead of asking:

What do I NEED to do? What SHOULD I do?

Try asking:

✨”If this day were my whole life, would it feel complete?”✨

Did I:

* love?
* create?
* move my body?
* laugh?
* tell the truth?
* savor beauty?
* find inspiration?
* encourage someone?
* relax and just be?

It’s less frantic and more intentional.

You’re not trying to cram a bucket list into 24 hours. You’re asking whether today’s “miniature life” reflects the kind of person you’re becoming.

Stoic philosopher Seneca was obsessed with the idea that we squander life because we’re always living toward tomorrow.

In “On the Shortness of Life”and in his Letters, Seneca repeatedly argues that

WE SHOULD TREAT EACH DAY AS A COMPLETE LIFE RATHER THAN AS MERELY PREPARATION FOR SOME FUTURE EXISTENCE.

One of my favorite passages is:

“Let us prepare our minds as if we’d come to the very end of life. Let us postpone nothing.

Let us balance life’s books each day... The one who puts the finishing touches on their life each day is never short of time.”

Today isn’t rehearsal. Today is the entire play.

That framing also avoids one of the problems with “live like you’re dying.” People hear that and think skydiving, quitting their job, or eating cake for breakfast.

“Live today as a complete life” asks a different question:

IF TODAY WERE THE ONLY CHAPTER ANYONE EVER READ ABOUT HOW I LIVED, WOULD IT TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT WHO I AM? 👀

Because one ordinary Tuesday contains all the ingredients of a meaningful existence: love, work, beauty, courage, play, rest, and truth.

Practice living one complete life today... and you’ll wake up having lived thousands. 🏆

I once heard it said that true love is two people living independently together. Therapists call it “interdependence.”

Neither incomplete. Both fully autonomous. In sync. Flowing harmoniously with one another.

It’s not about changing anyone but yet allowing love to change us at the same time.

It’s seeking to bring out the best in each other.

To be the protector of each other’s peace.

To be the sanctuary at the end of the day and the empowerment each morning.

Not about perfection. Just presence. ❤️

It’s hard to worry about others.

To care so deeply and to try to support them in all the ways that you can think of,

and yet they can still reject your advice, or even more hurtful, project false narratives/ misunderstand/ judge you etc.

Then what??

Same thing we should’ve been doing all along - LIVING OUR OWN LIFE and having as great a time doing it as possible - and gifting them their own autonomy to do the same.

I call this radical autonomy.

Alfred Adler said we all have a “lifestyle” - a mostly unconscious strategy for existing in this world - and it often involves trying to stay safe and under the radar of judgement or rejection.

But eventually that conflicts with living a life that feels authentic and in alignment with what we truly want.

So my dear, if you find yourself placating others, limiting yourself, or carrying the physical and emotional burden for others on a consistent basis, might I suggest a plot twist?

Let go.

Focus on what lights YOU up! It’s actually loving and a win/ win even if it ruffles feathers.

**kitwable