Allison Gallagher Coaching

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I said what I said beautiful people.
💃🏾❤️
I Hope you are having an amazing weekend. Jo xx

Thirteen summers ago, Julia was one year old.

It was one of the first summers I went full-time with my photography business, and I worked the entire summer.

At the end of it, I remember the gut punch.

The guilt of missing her first full summer on this earth.

I looked at her and myself and made a promise:

Never again.

Two summers ago, I recorded a podcast episode about mom guilt and how our brains love to remind us of everything we didn’t do during summers with our kids.

Listening back today, the message still hits me.

“Sometimes we think we need the big, grand things… when really eye contact, laughing together, and a good conversation are free.”

These are my favorite moments with Julia.

The car rides.
The conversations.
The hand holding.
The silliness with Harper 🐾
The laughing.
The inside jokes.

The relentless roasting of each other. 😂

The completely ordinary moments that somehow become the ones I remember most.

We spend so much time trying to create the “big” memories, and the ones that stay with us are usually the little moments we never planned.

My brain still tries to tell me stories sometimes.

She deserved better.

You should have done more.
You’re letting her down.

But I’ve learned to answer those thoughts by remembering what we did have, instead of obsessing over what we didn’t.

Because our kids don’t need a perfect summer.

They need us.
Believing we’re enough.

Present.
Listening.
Laughing.
Being human in all of our enoughness.

Regulated enough to enjoy the ordinary moments.

🎙️ Episode 11 of the You Get to Decide Podcast
Having Any Regrets About Summer Ending? How to Let Go of Mom Guilt and Shift Your Perspective.

Maybe another mom needs this reminder today. ❤️

Aaaand I finished writing this caption and missed Julia’s last set during volleyball clinic. 😏

Cue the mom guilt.

This little girl is still very much alive inside of me.

I used to be so fricken ashamed of her 🥹

Now I see her.
I love this kid. I’m in awe of her.

She still wants to frantically look around the room and figure out who she needs to be in order to be accepted.

She still believes there’s something wrong with her and what if people find out.

She thinks she’s too much.
While also…
not thin enough to be noticed.
Not smart enough.
Not worthy enough for good things.

She still thinks food is the safest places to find comfort, connection, and relief.

She still gets scared of responsibility because somewhere deep down she believes,

“What if I can’t handle it? What if I let everyone down?”

So many times a week…
I put my hand on my chest and I talk to her.

I tell her…

Girl… you are so very brilliant and capable.

You’re safe.
You get to take up space.
You get to just be you.

Your value isn’t measured by your productivity, your weight, or your income.

You are never going to discover there’s something wrong with you…because there never was.

I remind her that I value every single piece of who she is.

That I need her.

I thank her for getting us here.
For being resilient as f**k.
A soldier in the fight of her life.

For protecting us the only way she knew how.

And then I tell her…
You can put the armor down now.

Every step we take together is safe.
I am your safe place now. I’m your home.

I am your mother now.
And every single day…
I choose you.

That’s the work. THAT is how you start to feel amazing inside your own body.
Your home.

Because this is where change actually happens..when your body finally believes it’s safe to be you.

That’s when you stop using food or alcohol to escape.
You stop hustling to prove your worth.
You rest without guilt.
You walk into rooms without wondering who you need to be.

You stop abandoning yourself, your desires, and dreams or every time life asks you to grow.

When you stay connected to yourself, you no longer need to disconnect through self-sabotage.

When your body finally believes you’re safe with you… change happens faster than you ever thought possible.

Inward is the way forward.

And I cried reliving this.