a better monday

Addition by subtraction is a real thing. This week reminded me of that.

We lost some followers recently. When I looked at the timing, it lined up with posts related to Juneteenth and Pride. Part of me wasn’t surprised. Part of me is grateful.

Because here’s what it reminded me of: we actually gain something when people choose to leave, or make it clear they don’t belong here. This page is about careers, leadership, and how we navigate the workplace. That was never going to mean ignoring history or picking which people get to be celebrated and which don’t.

Social media reflects the same things we live out in our workplaces and communities. What we choose to share, about our values, our history, our identity, has beautiful parts. It also has parts that sting.

We’re going to keep showing up, keep speaking out, keep being clear about where we stand. If that costs us a few followers around Juneteenth and Pride, we already know what we’re gaining instead.

Just needed to process that out loud. Thanks for being here. 🫶🏼

“She’s really ambitious.” Three words. Three completely different meanings depending on who’s saying it.

It can be a compliment, from someone rooting for her: “She’s so ambitious, it’s awesome.”

It can be neutral, from someone who hasn’t decided yet.

Or it can be a warning: “Yeah... she’s really ambitious.”

Same words. Completely different intent, depending on who’s saying it, who it’s about, and what they’re uncomfortable with.

When “ambitious” gets used as a warning, it usually means she knows what she wants. And that’s making someone uneasy.

Here’s what to say:
→ If it’s been said about you: “I’ll take that. I know where I’m going, and I’m confident in getting there. That’s probably what you’re seeing.”
→ If someone says it to you directly, as a critique: “I think we might define ambitious differently. Can you say more about what you mean when you say it?”
→ If you hear it said about another woman in the room: “She sounds like someone we should be putting more behind, not less.”

The word “ambitious” isn’t the problem. It’s how it gets used to put women on their back foot. We’re allowed to know where we’re going, to have a direction, to care, and to be good at our jobs.

This is exactly what we work through in coaching, especially with women in leadership. DM us COACHING if you want to learn more.

Content is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, HR, or mental health advice. Coaching services are not therapy or mental health treatment.

Since my last video on this, the same story showed up in six coaching calls.

Here’s the pattern. A high-performing woman gets promoted into her first real senior seat. It’s a noticeable jump. And almost overnight, she’s “not strategic.”

There’s no documented performance issue. Nothing in writing. Just a feeling from a colleague that somehow becomes the story about her.

That story usually starts with a male peer stepping outside his own role to manage her performance, question her judgment, or redirect her work. Then the extra labor lands on her: the hard conversation, the coaching on how to “show up” differently, the constant mental math. She’s doing the work to fix a problem she didn’t create.

And often, it doesn’t end well. She gets moved. She leaves. Not because she failed. Because moving her was easier than addressing him.

This was never about her skills. It’s about who gets to define “strategic” and who has to keep proving it.

→ If this happens to you, make it specific: “Can you give me an example of a decision or a meeting where I wasn’t strategic enough, and what would you recommend I do differently?”
→ How far you push depends on your seat. Not every woman can push back the same way.
→ Document it either way.

If you’re in this right now, you’re not imagining it. You’re not alone.

We work through exactly this in coaching. Comment COACHING if you want to know more.

Content is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, HR, or mental health advice. Coaching services are not therapy or mental health treatment.

Have you been called “not strategic” at work? Here’s what that actually means. Part 1.

In your review: “Can you point to a specific decision where you’d have wanted me to take a different approach?” Vague feedback cannot survive a request for an example. You win either way.

The follow-up: “What would strategic look like in my role over the next six months? I want us to be working from the same definition.” Now there’s a target on paper. You can hit a defined target. Nobody can hit a vibe.

The move that changes the label: Start narrating your thinking out loud. Before the what, give the why. You were always thinking strategically. Now they can hear it.

Send this to a woman whose review is coming up. 👇

Content is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, HR, or mental health advice. Coaching services are not therapy or mental health treatment.

I get to work with people across every level, title, and industry, and that mix is one of my favorite parts of this job.

Coaching is for you if:
→ You feel lost or like you’re struggling right now
→ You’re already good at what you do and want to get better
→ You’re in the middle of something hard and don’t want to figure it out alone
→ You’re ready for what’s next and want support getting there

If you’ve ever thought coaching wasn’t for someone like you, this is your sign that it is.

DM me “COACHING” and let’s talk about what that could look like for you.

WomenAtWork

Here’s what I actually did before my last trip so I could disconnect for real.

Two weeks out, I wrote down everything that needed to happen while I was gone. One week out, I started delegating, and I got specific about who was covering what. On day one of PTO, I set my out of office and I honored it.

Time off is part of your compensation. If you say you’re taking PTO and then work anyway, you’re the one paying for it.

Save this before your next trip.

Content is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, HR, or mental health advice. Coaching services are not therapy or mental health treatment.

If you’ve ever been pressured to decide right now on something that deserves more than five minutes — here are a few things you can say.

Urgency is a tactic. When someone needs your yes in the next five minutes, it’s usually because a fast yes works for them.

This is harder for women specifically. When we ask for time, we worry it reads as indecisive, weak, difficult. So we say yes before we’re ready, or spend the next 48 hours second-guessing a call we made under pressure.

Four scripts for four situations:
→ In the moment: “”I want to give this some real consideration. I’ll have an answer by Thursday morning.”” You named a time, and you didn’t ask for permission.
→ When they push: “”Can you help me understand what’s driving the timeline?”” Sometimes there’s a real deadline, and sometimes someone just doesn’t want to wait. Both answers tell you something.
→ When you want it in writing: “”Can you send me the details in an email so I’m working from the right information?”” If the pressure disappears the second you ask, pay attention... that’s data.
→ When you’re being pushed to own a decision you disagree with: “”I can move forward with this. I do want it noted that my recommendation was X.”” On record, and you’re still a team player.

Save this for the next time someone needs your answer by end of day.

If you want support navigating situations like this one, DM me COACHING for more info on working together privately!

Content is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, HR, or mental health advice. Coaching services are not therapy or mental health treatment.

Women are being asked to rapidly adopt AI, trust it, and become experts in it at work, while a lot of us are quietly thinking, “I don’t know that I actually trust this.”

That’s a reasonable place to be. The questions are real: how do I know when to trust the output? What happens when it’s wrong and I’ve put my name on it?

AI is confident, fast, and wrong more than anyone wants to admit. It also learned from data that had blind spots before AI existed... and those didn’t disappear. Trusting it without asking questions was never the right move.

Here’s how to use AI without compromising your judgment:
→ Use it for the tasks that drain you, not the ones that define you. First drafts, formatting, summarizing — yes. Self-review, strategic calls — keep those yours.
→ Fact-check everything. Every output is a first draft from someone who sounds sure but usually isn’t. Your name’s on the work.
→ You don’t have to be an expert. You do need standards. If something it produces doesn’t align with how you work, you can say so and move on.

What are your biggest hesitations with AI at work? Put them in the comments.

Content is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, HR, or mental health advice. Coaching services are not therapy or mental health treatment.

Do you ever look at your person and think... “”Wow, I really nailed it!”” 😄

Choosing Lizzie is the best decision I have ever made. And one of my favorite things about her? She has a bathroom dance that comes out when she is brushing her teeth. She’s not really a dancer, but in the bathroom? Another story!

It is the most endearing, ridiculous, wonderful little thing.

After long days of building a business together, these are the moments that bring it all back to center. The silliness and the laughter. I get to let loose with my favorite person.

This is self-care. This is the joy. This is what life together looks like, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

What’s a silly little thing you or your partner does that makes you smile? Tell us in the comments. 👇