Shillo Amari

6.1 Everything happens for a reason. I’m so glad I got time for myself to just dance this day and be a student. This was my last dance in , Liverpool and my time in the UK. Once a sad girl, always a sad girl in the best way. In the sense that she gets her time to be raw and take up space too. It doesn’t always have to be for the external.

I come back to this because I remember asked us if we wanted one more round, and instrumental or lyrical. And instrumental thankfully won. I feel like it gave us space to take our time and fill in the music with pieces of us within, and after the choreo. I needed it at the time.

And as things are getting to ramp up even further, I want to treasure the moments of peace. The moments for self and nurturing being prioritized.

I love teaching and performing, but the time to dedicate to self helps me be better at those skills. And knowing when to get poured back into is an awareness I’m glad I’ve finally gained.

7.21 Sometimes you let the intrusive thought win of, let me just try it and see what happens. I have never done an Ayesha a day in my life until last Tuesday. My body felt good and warm after teaching Fundamentals and I just gave myself 20 to just enjoy my body for me. Shouldermounts have been feeling good and I’m always in reverse Ayesha so I can tell my body has been wanting to go into the space. I’m really excited to condition and work it into my training and honestly trained another hour dropping into them from butterfly once I got home which was humbling, but good.

Even 11+ years doing pole, there are a lot of things I’m taking my time with. I have dealt with pectoral, knee, shoulder, tailbone, etc. injuries in my past and ever since that pec scare that changed everything years ago, injury prevention has been my main focus. I listen to my body and push it to where it is challenged, while also nourishing and giving it recovery. Now that I do the full time, my body and mind is everything so I’m really glad the balance is reflecting here too. I never thought I would teach myself, especially since bracket grip was such a fear and obstacle for me before, but I’m glad I have so much room to grow in another step within my journey and have explore within.