07/26/2026
Dear Lonnie Hawkins,
I just finished watching The Hawk, drove home from shift, and BOOM… there’s a hawk standing in the middle of the road like it owns the place. Poor guy was injured, so I wrapped him in a towel, got him somewhere safe, and called the local bird-of-prey rehab folks to come help him.
I know… you’re probably disappointed in me because you hate hawks. 😂
But then the golf gods decided to restore balance to the universe.
I got home and found your actual spirit animal—a leopard frog—trapped inside my screened porch, looking like it had just missed the cut at Q-School. I gave the little legend a proper es**rt back to the pond where he belongs.
So don’t worry, Lonnie…
The hawk got rescued.
The frog got rescued.
Nature is back in equilibrium.
One morning. One hawk. One frog. Zero birdies.
if this isn’t how Season 2 starts, we’ve all missed a tremendous opportunity. 😂🦅🐸⛳️ LonnieTheHawk Alison Marie Wilson