Fran Bax Bowler Extraordinaire

Don’t ever call me lucky - I failed more times than you tried (thanks Dawn Kleinspehn!)

This is utter BS.

Storm resin bowling balls are scented because urethane resin and veneers that make up the covers of these bowling balls come from just what I said...urethane.

What's the source of urethane? According to PubChem, Urethane is a colorless and odorless crystalline compound that emits toxic fumes of nitrogen oxides when heated to decomposition. Urethane is mainly used in the production of amino resins, but is also used in the manufacture of pesticides, fumigants, cosmetics and pharmaceuticals. Exposure to urethane can affect the central nervous system, liver and can cause bone marrow suppression. Urethane is reasonably anticipated to be a human carcinogen.

So where does these amino resins come from?

The root word for urethane is "URINE"

In other words, those toxic fumes are actually cow p**s.

None of us want to smell cow p**s, so the fragrances in Storm bowling balls is a necessary thing.

So bowling balls are basically made from p**s so you can bowl like s**t.

Last I heard from a friend of a friend that owns a local dairy farm, cow p**s will never be in short supply. So why are urethane and resin performance balls so freaking expensive when cow p**s is in plentiful supply?

PROFIT!

You basically pay big bucks for a bowling ball that has a short shelf life, and after a lot of bowling lane oil gets sucked up into the bowling ball cover (resin veneers do that) and the core of the bowling balls settle either by the added weight of the oil or gravity, the balls crack since these veneers are brittle and are sensitive to the heavier oil content and gravity settling the weight block core when the ball isn't used for a period of time.

Which means you have to replace these bowling balls quite often. As expensive as performance bowling balls that are made from cow p**s, they're extremely disposable!

Meanwhile, I made my mark in the sport of bowling using plastic bowling balls made in the 1960s, 1970s and 1980s. Plastic doesn't leave the same footprint on the lane as today's resin veneers as the modern bowling balls are much stronger and more unstable than balls manufactured back in the day. Very early urethane and resin veneer bowling balls were OK for me and I just about made a living bowling with them as a weekend warrior through graduate school and a few years after that. Because those balls were more stable and predictable and bowling lanes were oiled and regulated more stringently than they are today.

Take this p**s mix and wrap it around a core that takes up more than half of the bowling ball's gross weight, roll it on a bowling lane in which most bowling centers have to cheat to make the lanes easier for today's bowlers, and even Helen Keller can compete heads up against the best bowlers on the planet.

You don't want to be the PSO in the pro shop having to resurface these bowling balls after they've been used for so many games.

Like I said, Urethane comes from p**s. You don't want to be the customer in the pro shop an hour or so after a urethane bowling ball made by another bowling ball manufacturer has been resurfaced or sanded down with wet sandpaper or an abralon pad.

Unless you happen to like the smell of cow p**s.

Which is the REAL reason fragrances exist in Storm bowling balls.

So whoever was stupid enough to write this up needs to go back to school and retake their chemistry and biology classes.

At least they were almost brilliant enough to note there's no scientific proof that fragrances in Storm bowling balls have any
impact on scoring or performance.

(By the way I'm still waiting for Storm to come out with a bowling ball that smells like s**t and skunk p**s)

WRITER'S NOTE: My masters degree is in Counseling Education and Supervision from a Jesuit college. I do not have any background in chemistry or related sciences whatsoever. I barely passed a biology class in high school...

TikTok · Janel 2008 likes, 155 comments. “Supernova smells yummy but hyroad is my FAV!”

Hey friends, I just started up this page to promote my bowling lesson gig, which I'm hoping to get back online once this COVID-19 crud goes bye-bye. I'm also looking at the possibility of starting a weekly live video about bowling and bowlers in the Western New York area, which of course, I've been getting into some practice for as I'm also considering an internet podcast down the road. Figuring that I'm a few years away from retirement, I might as well start planning my time to explore being occupied while I have the time and resources now...if anyone has some suggestions or input (positive and constructive input only please; you bash, I zap) into the development of this little bit of a project, please run them this way. And if anybody in the bowling business wants to push their wares onto my page and website, I'm open, and I would prefer to be compensated on the barter system rather than accept cash. Thanks!