06/30/2026
Today my mind felt like absolute s**t
And for a second, I caught myself believing the lie I usually believe...
"Well... I guess today's ruined."
But then I had this thought.
What if my mind gets to feel like s**t today... but my body doesn't have to?
So I blasted music.
I danced.
I threw on an outfit that made me feel hot.
I recorded myself moving, laughing, taking up space... belly rolls and all.
Not because I suddenly felt confident.
Not because I "healed."
Because f**k waiting to feel better before I let myself feel alive.
And somewhere in the middle of dancing around my room like an idiot...
I cleaned my room.
I started smiling.
I felt my body wake back up.
My mind didn't magically change.
But my body did.
And sometimes... that's enough.
One thing I'm learning about living with ADHD, OCD, anxiety and depression is this:
My mind is not always under my control.
Some days it's loud.
Some days it's heavy.
Some days it's an absolute as***le.
But my body?
Most days... I still have some say over that.
I can stretch.
I can dance.
I can step outside.
I can take a shower.
I can put on lipstick just because it makes me feel good.
And maybe that's where we have it backwards.
We've been trying to think our way into feeling better...
When sometimes we need to move our way there first.
Not because movement cures depression.
Not because dancing fixes OCD.
But because our bodies deserve to experience joy... even when our minds are struggling.
I spent way too many years believing I had to wait until I felt better to start living.
I'm done with that s**t.
If my mind wants to have a bad day...
Cool.
But she's not taking my body down with her. 🖤