Hooping Bliss

Kate Manne changed how misogyny is understood by shifting the focus from feelings to function.

In Down Girl, Manne argues that misogyny is not primarily about individual animosity toward women. It is a social system that polices behavior and enforces hierarchy. When women comply, the system stays quiet. When they resist, speak, or demand equality, punishment follows.
(Source: Kate Manne, Down Girl: The Logic of Misogyny, 2017)

This explains a pattern many recognize.

Women are praised when they provide care, deference, and emotional labor. They are attacked when they assert boundaries, ambition, or authority. The backlash is framed as deserved. Tone. Attitude. Likeability. Misogyny activates to restore order.
(Source: Down Girl, chapters on moral economy and entitlement)

Manne’s framework clarifies why misogyny intensifies around moments of progress. As women gain access to power, the policing grows sharper. The goal is not persuasion. It is correction.
(Source: contemporary feminist philosophy analyses citing Manne)

This definition matters because it redirects accountability. If misogyny is a system, then good intentions do not neutralize harm. Institutions, norms, and incentives must change. Otherwise enforcement simply adapts.
(Source: academic reviews of Down Girl)

Manne did not soften the truth. She made it precise.

Misogyny is not about who men hate. It is about which women are punished, when, and why.

If punishment is the signal, not hatred, what behaviors does the system still demand from women?

And who benefits when enforcement is mistaken for opinion instead of power?

So very helpful

My original caption from TikTok 10/15/25: It’s not pointless. It just feels that way because your brain adapts to progress it can’t see. The dishes don’t end but neither does your effort 💪❤️and hopefully you have some help around the house so you don’t have to do it all yourself 🙏🥺 #procrastination #productivity #Science #adhd #executivedysfunction

Mark Hyman, MD

Reminder: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DT0u3orEqKx/?igsh=NmZieDI1ZnU5azgz

This is long. And complicated. But Love is complicated. And Relationships are complicated. But I think they're kind of the purpose of life, really, for our primate social selves. At least that's how it feels for me.

I'm currently working through some STUFF, and it is not easy. Nothing feels easy right now, but this is especially hard. And I know I'll survive, but I'm not very hopeful that I'll ever find someone to share a relationship like this. Most people don't want this level of Work, and even fewer are capable. I just keep reminding myself that it's not because I'm unlovable, or too much, or not enough (Even though that's what my inner child believes.) It's just Life: complicated and always challenging.

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