Techifitness

This feels accurate for me. It's why through all that I was struggling with, my workouts and teaching group exercise classes helped me to get to the next day 🙏🏾✨️

Surviving the last few years meant I had to learn the difference between people who like having you around for their comfort or convenience and people who value you as a person.

Here's a short list. These might seem pretty basic, but as I have experienced, they are not.

People who value you
🔹️listen, and I mean really listen to you when you speak
🔹️allow you to express what's bothering you without trying to fix it, sanitize it for their comfort, or make it about them
🔹️don't leave you wondering where you stand. They respond to texts and give account of why they could not in a reasonable manner. They keep commitments, but if they must cancel they are committed to rescheduling
🔹️they allow you to express when their behavior hurts you without retaliating against you for sharing
🔹️they are honest about the hurtful things they've done to you knowing that is the bare minimum for any attempt at reconciliation

Some people do not value you and their hope is that you don't value yourself enough to allow them continued access 😢

I saw someone post about how bad it was to vent online and all I could think about is that they must have someone who listens to them and makes them feel heard. Not everyone has that. Just be kind 👌🏾

I'm grateful for the messages. 10-20 people sending messages asking 1-2 questions quickly turns into 10-40 questions which is a lot of energy that I do not possess at the moment.

Trauma survivors aren't trying to be jerks when we avoid calls or skip appointments or cancel outings— avoidance is a post traumatic symptom.

We can work on it, but we gotta recognize avoidance is part of the trauma package— not us trying to be aloof or feeling entitled.

TIL...
The love for your child/children will never end!
Until we meet again sweet boy 😢🙏🏾

Today I Learned...

What did you learn today?

Achy, anxious, depressed, unstable, with GI issues minds want to know 🧐

Saturday was a hard day... they've all been hard for a little or rather long while actually... and I'm so grateful for those who could show up for me. It means more than you'll ever know. 🙏🏾💛