Beth Bailey Coaching

Your brain isn't sabotaging your goals.
It's chasing the quickest reward.
Imagine this...
You finish work and tell yourself,
"I'm going to train tonight."
Then you sit on the couch "for five minutes."
Five minutes turns into thirty.
You're scrolling social media.
Watching videos.
Snacking on comfort food.
Sound familiar?
It's not because you don't care about your pole goals.
It's because your brain has found an easier source of reward.
Every swipe.
Every notification.
Every bite.
Your brain says,
"Ooh! A reward! And I don't even have to work for it."
Now compare that to pole.
To earn the reward of finally nailing your invert...
Landing that shoulder mount...
Or finishing your conditioning workout...
You have to work through frustration.
Sweat.
Failure.
And repetition.
Your brain looks at both options and says,
"Why work for a reward when I can have one right now?"
That's the dopamine trap.
The short-term reward steals your attention from the long-term reward you actually want.
But here's the part most people don't realize...
The pride you feel after training lasts far longer than the satisfaction of another 30 minutes of scrolling.
Your brain just can't see that from the couch.
So here's a simple trick:
Don't ask yourself,
"Do I feel like training?"
Ask yourself,
"Which reward do I want to experience an hour from now?"
Because future you has a vote, too.
Every time you choose the harder reward, you're teaching your brain that effort is worth it.
And over time, that choice gets easier.
Not because you suddenly become more disciplined.
Because your brain learns that the real payoff comes after the work.

🧠 What's one quick reward that most often pulls you away from your pole goals?

Meet the first member of your brain's survival team.
It's called the Motivational Triad.
Your brain is constantly trying to do three things:
• Seek pleasure.
• Avoid pain.
• Conserve energy.
This week, let's talk about the first one.
Seek pleasure.
Now before you think, "Well, who doesn't like pleasure?"
I'm not talking about joy.
I'm talking about immediate rewards.
Your brain LOVES instant gratification.
That's why scrolling Instagram feels easier than stretching.
Watching one more episode feels easier than training.
Buying new pole heels feels easier than drilling the same combo for the tenth time.
Your brain isn't asking,
"What will make us better six months from now?"
It's asking,
"What feels good right now?"
The challenge is that the things that create the biggest transformations rarely provide instant rewards.
Conditioning burns.
Practice is repetitive.
Learning a new trick means falling... a lot.
Meanwhile...
The couch feels amazing.
Your phone gives you a tiny dopamine hit.
Avoiding the hard thing brings immediate relief.
Your brain celebrates the short-term win.
Even when your future self pays the price.
The good news?
You don't have to fight your brain.
You just have to work with it.
Celebrate every small win.
Notice every tiny improvement.
Make the process rewarding—not just the outcome.
Because every time your brain associates practice with a positive feeling, it's more likely to want to come back tomorrow.
You're not trying to trick your brain.
You're teaching it that growth can feel good, too.

🧠 What's one small reward you can give yourself after your next pole session?

Weekly Brain Check-In 🧠

Can I ask you a question?

Where is your brain trying to keep you safe right now...

..at the expense of your growth?

Maybe it's telling you:

"Don't sign up for that class. You'll embarrass yourself."

"Don't post the video. People will judge you."

"Don't try the harder move. You're not ready."

"Don't ask for a spot. You might fail."

Your brain isn't trying to ruin your dreams.

It's trying to repeat what has helped you survive before.

The problem is...

Your brain doesn't always know the difference between danger and discomfort.

So it wraps fear up as wisdom.
It disguises avoidance as being "realistic."
It tells you that staying where you are is the safest choice.

But safe isn't always where growth happens.

This week, I want you to notice—not judge—what your brain is telling you.

Then ask yourself one simple question:

"Is this keeping me safe... or is it keeping me small?"

That question has changed my life more times than I can count.

Now it's your turn.

👇 Where is your brain trying to keep you "safe" right now, even though you know your growth is waiting on the other side?

Today my brain told me to quit.

Not forever.

Just for today.

I was in my beginner pole class and decided to try a Jasmine.

It used to be one of my favorite moves.

But today?

I could barely hold it for a second because my skin hurt so much.

Immediately, I felt disappointed.

And just as quickly, my brain started its usual routine:

"Maybe you're not ready."

"This hurts too much."

"Just skip it."

A few months ago, I probably would have listened.

But this time, I recognized what was happening.

My brain wasn't trying to protect me from danger.

It was trying to protect me from discomfort.

Those are two very different things.

So instead of giving up, I made a different decision.

I didn't force myself to hold the full Jasmine.

I did part of the move.

Just enough to start reconditioning my skin.

Just enough to tell my brain:

"We're okay."

"We can handle this."

"We'll get there again."

Progress isn't always about doing the whole thing.

Sometimes progress is showing your brain—and your body—that you're willing to stay in the process.

One small moment at a time.

That's how confidence grows.

That's how resilience grows.

And that's how we teach our brains that discomfort doesn't have to be the end of the story.

💜 Have you ever adjusted your goal instead of giving up completely? Tell me about it.

You can't see the back of your own head.

No matter how hard you try.

You need a mirror.

Your mind works the same way.

You can't always see the beliefs that are quietly running your life because you've been living with them for so long.

"I'll never be strong enough."

"Everyone is judging me."

"I have to be perfect before I try."

"I'm just not naturally confident."

These thoughts don't feel like opinions.

They feel like facts.

That's where a coach comes in.

A coach isn't there to tell you what to think.

A coach is there to hold up a mirror.

To notice the pattern you can't see.
To question the story you've stopped questioning.
To ask the one question that makes you stop and say...

"I've never thought about it that way before."

I've lost count of how many times someone has come to me believing their problem was a shoulder mount...

When the real obstacle was fear of failure.
Perfectionism.
Or believing they had to earn the right to take up space.

The pole wasn't the problem.

The programming was.

And here's the beautiful part.

Once you can see a pattern, you can change it.

You can't rewrite a story you don't know you're telling.

But the moment you see it...

You get to choose a different ending.

That's the power of coaching.

Not because your coach has all the answers.

Because they help you discover the answers that have been hidden behind your blind spots all along.

🪞What's one belief about yourself you've started to question lately?

We're all set up and ready to welcome you! 💕

The table is stocked. The encouragement is ready. And I can't wait to meet the amazing women who will be walking through the doors tonight.

If you're coming to the Rotisserie Chicken Confidence Tour, make sure you stop by my booth! I'll have my life coaching products, affirmation gifts, and mindset resources to encourage you, inspire you, and remind you of something you may need to hear today:
✨ You are enough.
✨ You deserve joy.
✨ Your next chapter starts with believing in yourself.

Whether you're looking for a little encouragement, a meaningful gift, or just want to say hello, I'd love to connect with you.
📍 Level Up Artistry – Arlington, TX 🕔 Tonight at 5:00 PM
Come enjoy an evening of confidence, connection, shopping, and sisterhood. I can't wait to see your beautiful faces!

You walk into your pole studio.

Your modern brain is excited.

"Today I'm finally going to learn that spin."

But your cavewoman brain has a completely different interpretation.

"There are people here."

"They're all looking at us."

"If we mess up, we'll be rejected."

"Rejection means we're no longer safe."

"ABORT MISSION."

It sounds ridiculous...

Until you realize your brain evolved to survive in small tribes where being rejected from the group could threaten your survival.

Your primitive brain doesn't know you're walking into a supportive pole studio.

It thinks you're walking into a room full of predators deciding whether you belong.

That's why your heart races before class.
That's why you suddenly forget moves you know.
That's why you compare yourself to everyone else.
That's why you feel awkward even though no one is paying nearly as much attention to you as you think.

Your brain isn't trying to stop you from growing.

It's trying to stop you from taking what it believes is a dangerous risk.

The beautiful part?

Every time you show up anyway...
Every time you attempt the spin...
Every time you laugh off a wobble instead of running from it...

You're teaching your brain a new lesson:

"This place is safe."

"These people aren't predators."

"I can survive being seen."

And that's when confidence starts to grow.

Not because the fear disappeared.

Because your cavewoman finally realized the studio isn't a threat—it's where she gets to become stronger.

🧠 What's one thought your cavewoman brain whispers before class?

A month ago, I almost talked myself out of this.
I told myself things like...
"No one is going to care."
"Who am I to coach pole dancers when I'm just starting over?"
"Maybe I should wait until I'm stronger."
"Maybe I should wait until I've lost the weight."
But instead...
I hit "Post."
And then I did it again the next day.
And the next.
And the next.
If I'm honest, there were days I felt what Brené Brown calls a vulnerability hangover.
The moments after sharing something personal when you wonder:
"Did I share too much?"
"What if people judge me?"
"Should I have kept that to myself?"
Being vulnerable online isn't always easy.
Especially when you're talking about gaining 40 pounds.
Starting over.
Feeling insecure.
Being a beginner again.
There were moments I wanted to hide.
But every time I shared honestly...
Someone would message me.
Someone would comment,
"I thought I was the only one."
Or...
"This is exactly what I needed to hear today."
And that's when I realized something.
People don't connect with perfection.
They connect with honesty.
They connect with someone who's willing to go first.
Has this challenge grown my account?
Yes.
But more importantly...
It's grown me.
I've stopped worrying so much about looking polished.
I've started caring more about being real.
I've remembered why I wanted to coach in the first place.
Not to have the answers.
But to walk alongside women who are figuring it out too.
So if you've been following this journey...
Thank you.
Whether you've liked a post, left a comment, sent a message, or simply watched quietly from the sidelines...
Thank you for being here.
This isn't the end of the journey.
Honestly...
I feel like it's just beginning.
💜
I'd love to know—has there been a post this month that resonated with you? I'd love to hear which one and why.

When I think about the women I want to coach, I don't picture someone who has it all together.
I picture the woman sitting in her car before her first pole class, wondering if she should just drive home.
The woman who thinks she's too old.
Too out of shape.
Too uncoordinated.
Too busy.
Too self-conscious.
The woman who looks around the room and quietly wonders,
"Do I even belong here?"
Because I've been her.
In some ways, I still am.
And that's exactly why I'm building my coaching business around this community.
My vision isn't to create the strongest pole dancers.
Or the most flexible.
Or the ones landing the hardest tricks.
My vision is to help women become so rooted in themselves that they stop letting fear make their decisions.
I want you to walk into class without apologizing for your body.
I want you to stop waiting until you've lost the weight to feel confident.
I want you to celebrate your first climb as much as someone else's advanced move.
I want you to trust yourself enough to try the scary thing.
To laugh when you fall.
To get back up.
To stop measuring your worth by your progress.
Because here's what I believe:
Pole isn't just building stronger muscles.
It's building stronger women.
Women who speak up.
Women who take up space.
Women who trust themselves.
Women who stop shrinking their dreams because they're afraid of failing.
If I can help even one woman walk into that first class...
Or come back after years away like I did...
Or see herself with a little more kindness...
Then I'll know I'm doing the work I was meant to do.
Because this has never just been about pole.
It's about helping women remember who they are.
And I can't think of anything more meaningful than that. 💜
I'd love to hear from you. What is one feeling you hope pole gives you—or has already given you? Confidence? Strength? Joy? Freedom? Tell me in the comments.