Alliance Seminars Coaching

Faith-based Coaching on Relationships

Story By Carlos Santiago (The Real Enemy)

Two weeks into our parenting journey, somehow my wife’s way of changing a diaper was right. Mine was wrong.

I had just as much experience as she did, but it didn’t seem to matter. I felt I would never measure up to “Mommy.”

I spitefully questioned whether I should just let her take over diaper duty.

Around that time, I was reminded of James 4:1-11. He says fights are caused because “you desire and do not have” and “you covet and cannot obtain” (verse 2).

James was right.

Our conflict wasn’t about the “right way to change a diaper.”

I desired respect I felt I didn’t have. I coveted the high status bestowed upon mothers. I feared my role as a father would soon be downgraded to financial provider, playmate, and occasional babysitter.

I didn’t want that.

The thing is, neither did she.

My wife wasn’t trying to dominate me or downgrade my role as a father. She simply wanted to share a trick to make both of our lives easier.

By turning parenting into a competition, I stopped assuming the best and started assuming the worst.

Over the years, we’ve had to learn to look beyond our gut reactions and uncover the hidden desires that fuel conflict. When we do, it’s easier to realize my spouse is not the enemy.

We still have very different ways of doing things. We still disagree. But now I assume we’re on the same team.

Together, we fight the problem. Not each other.

ACTION POINTS: In what ways might you and your spouse be fighting against, rather than for, each other? The next job (or argument) you have to tackle together, consider the source.

Sometimes it is good to bloom where you are planted.

📚✨ COME MEET AUTHOR VERONICA WILLIAMS! ✨📚

Author and Master Certified Life Coach Veronica Williams is excited to be a vendor at the August Quarterly Festival! She will have copies of her book available for purchase and would love to connect with you, share her message, and introduce you to the movement behind her work.

📅 Saturday, August 29, 2026
⏰ 12:00 PM – 4:00 PM
📍 Tubman-Garrett Riverfront Park
20 Rosa Parks Drive
Wilmington, DE

Bring a friend and come experience this monumental event! Be sure to stop by Veronica’s table and discover why readers are connecting with:

📖 Unless My Sister Is Whole: Lessons from Life’s Lemons

This powerful book delivers a message of hope, healing, restoration, and purpose for women navigating life's challenges.

We look forward to seeing you there! Stop by, say hello, grab your copy, and become part of the Unless My Sister Is Whole movement! 💜📚

Faith-based Coaching on Relationships

Story By Judy Burrows (The Problem with Concrete)

I hit the driveway hard.

I’d lost my balance on the sidewalk and attempted to regain it. My brain was yelling to my feet, “Do your job!”

The downward slope of the sidewalk spoke louder.

You even managed to hit your head. That was my first thought as I lay on the driveway.

Then I heard my husband's voice, heavy with compassion. "Oh, honey..."

I was not in any hurry to rise. Something felt wrong. The fall felt traumatic. Cement is really hard, my brain harped. Not one bit of grace to it.

As my husband darted to my side, there was comfort: He knew where I was. I wasn’t alone. I wouldn’t have to yell for someone's attention.

My feet had failed me. But my husband did not. He supported my weight back into the house.

Turns out my brain wasn’t wrong. X-rays showed a broken pelvis.

Suddenly bedridden, something deeper than my bones felt horribly fractured. Somewhere in the week after, as I stretched the wrong way in pain and tears, I told my husband, “I really feel broken.”

Truthfully, because of sin—that’s always my condition. But I don’t always feel it.

A big reason for that? A husband who’s acquired a significant tenderness. I think of him as a grace-partner: Someone absorbing my weakness—my frailty, or just plain sin.

He yields a lot more than concrete, providing a soft landing for my constant missteps. Which means in the end, a lot less gets broken.

Thankfully, my pelvis is one whole piece again. I carry no evidence of that humbling afternoon.

But I want to have more give with others, with my husband—a cushion for the ways our bodies and souls fail, absorbing each others’ failings with kindness neither of us deserve.

ACTION POINTS: Life is hard like cement sometimes. How can you give your spouse grace today? Grace has a give to it. Where does your spouse need some give in his/her life right now?

Don't be a movie extra in the story of your own life.

As a Presidential Service Badge recipient, I look forward to joining other WHCA Alumni during this event and hearing about their stories of supporting such a meaningful mission, during their military service.

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"The No-Fail Mission" Volume II, written by Anthony Knopps, launches September 15th at the Army and Navy Club, and will showcase some real American heroes.

The book, which will also be available for purchase at the event, profiles 13 military men and women who served the Office of the President. Lunch will be served and you'll also have a chance to participate in a wide-ranging discussion about the importance of service.

Luncheon tickets are going fast, so order yours here (and even if you can't make it, feel free to make a donation to support the event):

https://jstreetgroup.ticketspice.com/no-fail-mission-vol-ii-book-launch

Faith-based Coaching on Relationships

Story By Sabrina McDonald (Marriage Colored Outside the Lines)

I used to be particular about doing things my way. I got easily annoyed by messes left on the counter or towels folded the “wrong” way. To me, people who said, “color outside the lines” were just lazy.

But that was before the death of my first husband.

I look back at the energy I wasted on worry and perfection, and I’m sorry I often let those outward, unimportant issues control my emotions.

There were times I hurt my husband over petty particulars that didn’t matter in the long run.

I’ve wondered what changes he would see in me if he came back for one day. Would he find the same person he left? In some ways, yes, but in other ways, no.

One change would be my pursuit of perfection. I now see it’s not worth fussing over. Instead, I’d rather express how proud I am of my husband’s efforts.

Another change would be that I’m no longer motivated to do things just because I “ought to.” I still get things done, but I give myself more grace.

For example, cuddling a little longer on Saturday morning is more important than getting all the chores done early in the day. And splurging a little now and then is more important than saving every single penny.

Now in my second marriage, I spend less time worrying about things done the “right” way.

I’m so hard-headed that it takes something devastating to teach me a lesson, but I’m thankful I learned.

Take it from me: Stop controlling every variable in your life. Not everything has to fit your definition of “perfect.” Life (and marriage) can still be beautiful even when colored outside the lines.

ACTION POINTS: Is control making your marriage miserable? What are some rigid rules you can change? How can you extend more grace to your spouse? Make a list of your spouse’s “imperfect” qualities. Which ones can you let go of?

Don't settle for anything less than what is best for you.

Unless My Sister is Whole has made its way to Hawaii. Delaney Coaching & Consulting, LLC, inspires leaders with the resources, insights, and support they need to develop their skills, embrace their strengths, and achieve their fullest potential through values-based personal and executive coaching grounded in positive psychology and International Coaching Federation (ICF) competencies.

Interesting facts about Hawaii are it is the only state made entirely of islands. It features unique geography, including no billboards, colorful sand beaches, and the tallest sea mountain in the world. Thank you, Joe and Sarah, for your support.

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To order your copy, or a book for someone else, visit:

https://www.allianceseminars.org/resources

In Unless My Sister is Whole: Lessons from Life’s Lemons, Veronica Williams shares how life’s most difficult seasons can become the very ingredients for healing and transformation. Drawing from her upbringing in Compton, California, and her journey through brokenness to wholeness, she invites women to see their “lemons” not as setbacks, but as preparation for purpose.

This book challenges readers to choose healing, embrace community, and recognize that when one woman becomes whole, she helps create space for others to do the same.

Faith-based Coaching on Relationships

Story By Lisa Lakey (Schoolhouse Rock for Marriage)

Some things from childhood just stick with you. And I definitely remember the days of Schoolhouse Rock.

Conjunction junction, what’s your function?

But my favorite was the one about how a bill becomes a law. At the ripe age of 9, I dreamed of a career in law and politics. I just knew I could get Bill to Capital Hill so much faster …

Long past the days of elementary school (and political dreams) now, I wish they’d come up with a few for adult life—and marriage.

Communication Station, maybe? I think I’m onto something here. Or how about instead of “Unpack Your Adjectives,” a jaunty little tune about “Unpacking Your Emotional Baggage”?

Because marriage can be confusing. Right when you think you have it all figured out, you have to learn something new. (My husband would say this is especially true if you are married to me.)

And married life might be a little easier if we could sing our way through it.

But the truth is, a lot of marriage is a learn-as-you-go lesson. You can read all the books, sign up for all the devotions (thanks, by the way), absorb all you can ahead of the big day. (And that’s good, really.)

But even if you are the most prepared spouse in the history of spouseness, marriage is going to throw you a curveball.

Maybe it’s an affair. Or a miscarriage. Or that long-conquered pain suddenly resurfaces without any prompting you can find.

And rhyming words can’t help you through that.

It’s through these tough times we learn the lessons of humility, peace, contentment, and utter dependence on God. In the tough times, He draws us closer to Him. To be more like Him.

During those times? Seek help—godly counsel. Push through to better communication with your spouse. But don’t fast forward past the lesson God has on the other side of the pain. It can’t be condensed or learned in five minutes. But it will be unforgettable.

Marriage is one big schoolhouse. But God is a fantastic Teacher.

ACTION POINTS: Whatever your current marriage situation is, good or bad, ask God what He would have you learn through it. (And hey, a sweet song of praise won’t hurt!)