Find Your Voice, Change Your Life

Even with a doctoral degree and a thriving business, I hid my stage fright for years

I remember sitting in networking meetings and feeling anxious about simply introducing myself. I stayed quiet to avoid attention

For a long time, I hid behind my profession as a psychologist and said to myself, “I’m just better at listening”

Looking back, I can see that I was shrinking rather than growing

Did being accomplished ever make your speaking struggle harder to admit?

You have a point you want to make, and you’re ready to say it

Then you picture the reaction

Someone might disagree. The conversation might become uncomfortable

So you go along instead

When that keeps happening, your real perspective never makes it into the conversation. People may even assume you agree when you don’t

Finding your voice includes letting what is true for you remain present in the conversation

The next time you speak, notice whether what you say still matches what you actually think 🤔

A whole room can feel like a lot to hold in your attention

Connection doesn’t have to happen with everyone at once. It can happen one person at a time

You are still speaking to the room, but the experience becomes more personal and connected

Follow along for more of what I teach about becoming more present when you speak

Lasting confidence can mean trusting what you know and saying it with conviction, while also being able to say, “I don’t know” when you don’t have the answer

You do not have to be the smartest or most helpful person in the room to have value

As self-trust grows, there is more room to speak from what you genuinely know and believe

If you want more support building this kind of confidence, stay close. I’ll be sharing more about speaking with greater self-trust 😌

Being put on the spot can make even a familiar question feel difficult

You know the subject, but suddenly everyone is waiting for your answer. The pressure to say the right thing can make the words much harder to find

Sometimes the more you try to get the answer exactly right, the harder it becomes to simply respond

Tell me: How would it feel to trust what comes, instead of trying to get the answer exactly right?

As a psychologist, listening came naturally to me

I could sit with someone, listen closely, ask questions, and help them find their own words. That was a place where I felt comfortable

But when I was asked to speak, especially in front of a group, I would say, “I can’t do that”

For a long time, I told myself I was simply better at listening

Eventually, I began to question that explanation and look more closely at why speaking felt so different when the attention was on me

What might you discover if you questioned the story you’ve been telling yourself?

The words are coming, and then suddenly... nothing 😶

For a few seconds, all you can think is, “I can’t lose my train of thought. This is embarrassing.” So you start searching for words, talking faster, doing whatever you can to get past the silence

I understand why that pause can feel so uncomfortable. But rushing often gives you even less space to find your way back

👉🏻 The next time you go blank, try this: stop, take one quiet breath, and give yourself a moment before continuing

Your words are not be gone. They simply need a little time to return

You may have grown up learning that being agreeable was safer, challenging authority was disrespectful, or drawing attention to yourself was frowned upon

Those expectations can stay with you, even when the people and circumstances around you have changed

🤫 What unspoken rules about speaking up did you grow up with?