Vicky Evans - Life Mastery Coach, Create a Life You'd Love

FriYAY Uplift ✨: This is a tale of two springs (yes the weather kind).

Today is beautiful sunshine, warm when you’re in it, folks are out enjoying it, smiling.. short sleeves.

Yesterday, spring sucked! Wintery temperatures, rain and we’re all rushing home to put the heating on!

Today, in my leadership and life coaching sessions, people are chatting happily about how lovely the weather is, how great it is to see spring. Despite yesterday, also spring, when we were all disappointed and possibly drenched (like my daughter who expected better and didn’t take her coat).

My spring story helps strengthen the idea that what we focus on expands. Energy can contagious, good or bad.

The uplift, everything is cyclic. So if today, everything sucks and you’re hanging on till 5pm at work, know this. You’re doing an excellent job, keep being awesome at managing the sucky-ness of life. Till the feelings get lighter and easier to carry.

And tomorrow may be brighter (or not) but we are built to survive both. We all have incredible inner strength and a deep capacity for appreciation.
Delight in anything you can.

Wishing you a most excellent weekend, on both sides of the world.

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Wellington based, experienced, double certified leadership and life coach. Conference or SLT/exec workshop facilitator/trainer.

Talk to me if you need support, encouragement and a personalised action plan for yourself or your team.

Pic: one of mine, love spring at the botanic gardens, Wellington NZ

Over thirteen years ago, I arrived in New Zealand, in spring, knowing virtually no one bar my then husband, lovely step daughter and his family.

Emigrating was part of reinventing myself and building a new life for the kids here in Wellington.

😆 Wellington turned on the horizontal rain and wild wind for two weeks. The house was beautiful but has no heat pump, drafty windows, no insulation… bad cork tiles on the floor but we made it home. Camping inside.

My kids were 5&3, we had no car or furniture as our container hasn’t arrived, and we’d been advised to bring light rain jackets!!

I remember holding both of them by the hands, heads down against the wind, tramping across a soggy seatoun footy field towards school/kindi. The kids were upset and I was wondering what we’d done!

Wellington has such a unique spirit, (and weather). Great people who came together to make us welcome. The school/after school community was and still is awesome.

We found our feet. In 2016, I started my own coaching business after many years in the corporate field.

Looking back on the challenges, I found strength, resourcefulness. Resilience.

Still in awe of the beauty, the lovely walks, monarch butterflies (the first I’d seen!).

Big life events challenge us. And we need a plan to navigate them well.

Some of the clients I’m working with right now were stuck and needed support, encouragement and an action based plan for:

Having a first grandchild on the way (and still working 4 days)

Finding fulfilment when life feels flat

Knowing if this partner is worth the heartache

Navigating a tricky separation with a child

Embracing retirement (what will I do with my time?)

Reinventing yourself when you’re over your work life (lack of )balance

If you are stuck, and need an action plan from an experienced, double certified leadership and life coach, let’s talk.

✨FriYAY UPLIFT: Quick tip on how to reframe and manage intimidation at work!

This has come up a lot in the past month with my exec/leadership and life coaching clients. There is value in sharing in case this helps you.

Why do people at any level put down or intimate others?

Simple. People who thrive by putting others down are often weak and insecure. They have their own challenges to work on and they deflect their personal or professional frustrations at everyone else.

They also take zero responsibility for their role in any aspect of a problem. They make it all your fault!

Most people who are intimidated at work:

‼️Talk about it to friends and loved ones, but don’t DO ANYTHING!
‼️Blame themselves
‼️Shrink
‼️Overthink or spiral daily
‼️Catastrophise
‼️End up leaving eventually

I’ve lived through this myself, it is part of the reason I became a leadership and life coach. Helping others daily to manage this situation more successfully.

☀️ The uplift?

YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS ALONE!! 💪🏼

Having some extra support can make a huge difference to MANAGING YOUR RESPONSE to this now. … And not letting it become a pattern in your future working life.

If you’d love some help to stop this cycle and want:

💯More courage
💯The confidence to speak up
💯How to articulate your concerns professionally without fear
💯A customised action plan with manageable steps to help you shift from where you are to where you’d love to be

I can help.

I’ve been in business a decade.

I help people every day to face their fears and to follow their innate talents. So that life feels more fulfilling and our daily experiences more expansive.

☀️☀️☀️

Experienced, Wellington based, leadership and life coach. Corporate and conference workshop facilitator. SLT offsites. Custom content or trainer.

Talk to me about finding clarity, confidence and direction for you or your team. Knowing your value and living life on your terms.

Optimal teams have the energy and drive to perform ‘at or above’. Let’s face it, we’d all like to be performing ‘at or above’ when it comes to pay reviews!

Whether you’re an owner manager, franchise owner, on leadership or managing a team of any kind, fostering an environment where community matters - and means something can be a game changer.

Our people need to feel safe to ask difficult questions. And to ask for help without being embarassed to do so.

To know they’ll be supported if there are issues or harassment of any kind.

To question our instructions (respectfully). Doing this well helps an overall sense of clarity and helps people do what we want more successfully. And helps us grow and give better instructions!

To ask for a payrise or role advancement more than once a year.

To ask for clarity in situations where there is uncertainty. It may relate to re-structures or takeovers. Or in any size of business when profits are lower or cash flow is restricted.

Having hard conversations or running sessions to get the best out of peoole isn’t every leaders natural skill set.

If you’d love some support to plan the session or workshop or training you know would help lift energy and performance, or, youd like someone to facilitate it for you, let talk.

You can find out more about the way work or book a free chat here: vickyevans.com

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Experienced, double certified leadership and life coach. Conference and workshop facilitator/trainer.

FriYAY uplift: Friday drinks anyone? Alcohol became a social enabler for me a long time ago. Not that I realised at the time I was totally struggling with what’s now called social anxiety.

Introvert, super shy as a kid, didn’t find it easy to make friends. Finding myself in the swings London agency life in my twenties then a big corporate back in my home town, in my thirties.

I always worked hard but played hard too. Like most folks my age did back then. We’re talking pre 2007.

In some ways I was lucky alcohol was so popular back then as I fitted right in!

Such a revelation now I’ve done a lot of work on myself, become a mum (17 years on) and business owner (10 years on) , why it held such appeal back then.

This week social anxiety was on the agenda again with some of my leadership clients.

One of my (subconscious) strategies back then was to drink fast to relax and then feel less inhibited. Not a strategy I’d recommend!!

If you’re looking for more realistic coping mechanisms for your social anxiety or general anxiety or fear in your life, let’s talk.

Three helpful tips if you want to move away from alcohol but struggle socially:

Talk to another quiet person who looks anxious

Drink something sparkly like kombucha, or a soft drink.

If you feel the need to have alcohol - drink slowly. Especially if you’re nervous

Wishing you all a lovely weekend ahead pn both sides of the world - stay safe in windy Welly!

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Wellington based, experienced double certified leadership and life coach. Corporate trainer and workshop facilitator.

Talk to me about finding clarity, direction and confidence. Even if you struggle with challenges that seem permenent. Every session comes with a comprehensive action plan to help you or your team move forward in small successive steps. With a accountability buddy who understands the work first hand.

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Managing Conflicting Obligations: Is Guilt Really a Wasted Emotion?

As Jacinda Ardern said: “There is a constant expectation that w0men need to be doing more in every aspect of their lives...GUILT is a wasted emotion.”

As a ‘geriatric’ mother who started a business age 46, with two kids under five, I’ve wrestled with this over the past decade. Here’s what I’ve learned:

3 Steps to Manage Conflicting Obligations:

1. Start Monday on Sunday Night
Review your week in full view, with a week long visual of your diary or digital calender. Spot any clashes to avoid the embarassment of double bookings. Reschedule proactively and respectfully. No more Monday morning lurches when you’re trying to leave the house, which play havock with your nerves!

2. Block Your Gaps
30-minute spacers between meetings aren’t a luxury, they’re a necessity. Time to think, travel, breathe, and actually do what needs doing. Before you arrive at your next meeting.

3. Manage Expectations (Including Your Own)
Is your schedule now REALISTIC? Can you manage it well (including your home obligations) without blowing a fuse? If not, signpost changes early. Communicate respectfully. People understand when life gets complex.

On managing “Guilt”:
I built my business around school hours (9-2pm initially). As it grew, I learned that scheduled connection time, 30 minutes of truly present time when my young folks get home, matters more than perfect availability.

So is guilt wasted?
I think it helps us refine our priorities. The goal isn’t perfection, it’s ensuring our favorite people still feel like our favorite people.

Getting it right some of the time beats never, right?

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Experienced double certified leadership and lifecoach. Corporate and conference workshop facilitator. Talk to me about finding clarity, confidence and direction for you or your team, managing obligations better and having an action plan to make it happen.

Over twelve years ago, someone believed in me. I had only been in Wellington three months, and went to a group fitness class called Centergy for my mental health. I had no job, two young kids - and was starting a new life knowing no one in NZ but my ex hubby!

My gym instructor asked me if I wanted to train as an instructor. Told me I had the right physique and technique. I was surpised and a little freaked out - my previous role before kids was as a marketing manager for a ftse100 software firm in the uk.

So quite a leap.

Part of me whispered YES, you LOVE this class. And I agreed to train, thinking I’d likely FAIL HORRIBLY and give up.

So I trained, passed, and taught terrified I’d screw up for at least the first year. But enjoyed the energy, seeing people grow and develop as I had participating in the class.

Twelve years on. Yesterday was the last time anyone will teach centergy in this Lyall Bay gym building. Quite nostalgic looking back over the years, thinking of all those who helped me.

At 58, I still prioritise my mental and physical healt. I teach four times a week, Lyall Bay and Thorndon.

Looking forward to a fresh start in the new location on Sunday!

The uplift? If someone asks you to do something you think you’ll fail at, give it a go, there’s no shame in deciding it’s not for you. But I’d hate to leave this life full of regrets. Anyone relate?

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Experienced double certified Leadership and life coach. Corporate and conference trainer and workshop facilitator.

Talk to me about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. And building confidence via a tailored action plan and structure of support.

We can all do hard things. But sometimes we don’t DO what we know NEEDS to be done. Can you relate?

Are you trying to change something in your life that feels really hard?

Glenon Doyle wrote a great whole book on this topic. Key takeaway? We can all do hard things.

But sometimes, having someone in your corner helps!

WHY? Simply put: Keeps us accountable, gives us a roadmap of actions, helps us try on different scenarios to see which fits best.

If you’re sick of STALLING and you’d love:
💡 some new strategies
💡an objective appraisal of where you are versus where you’d like to be
💡and an action plan for how to get there.. in manageable supported steps, let’s talk.

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If you choose to work with me you’ll gain insights based my certification as an advanced leadership and life coach. And from how I’ve managed my own challenges and lived experiences.

I’ve navigated being agency side in London then a corporate leader (late 20’s to mid 30’s) having two kids under two at 42, emigrating to NZ age 46, a divorce age 50, founding my business ten years ago - and am still growing every day.

Wellington eerily misty with strong shafts of sunlight over the CBD from oriental parade this evening.

Anyone else get good pics?

Stunning sky before the fog rolled in.

Happy weekend y’all!

When does introversion become SOCIAL ANXIETY, and problematic? An Apple a day won’t solve this one!

I’ll freely admits, I’ve never been an enthusiastic networker. I’ve done a ton of it over the course of my past corporate career (London and Newcastle on Tyne in the UK). And in the past decade running my own coaching practice here in Wellington, New Zealand.

I’m probably a 70% hard out introvert, but have trained myself to be ok, even in big stress situations like presenting at conferences. Or facilitating workshops. When clearly you’re the focus.

There’s so many lessons I’ve learnt over the years, but here’s my top 3 tips for managing yourself more confidently in situations that require it:

1. Make it about your audience (whether it’s a meeting and you’re sharing an outcome or update, or presenting to 150 people in person).

People need the information they came for - and that you came to share. They will benefit from the knowledge and insight it provides. Even if you’re flustered delivering it.

2. Smile. Sounds silly - but try it next time and see how you feel. It’s a natural tap to your happy hormones. Even if it feels fake (because you’re in total inner turmoil), try to make eye contact with a friendly face and smile more.

3. Unclench your body. Hands out of pockets, shoulders down. 5 deep belly breaths, in for four -
Pause - out for eight pause and repeat.

Moving your body, even jumping on the spot (perhap in the bathroom!) or taking a quick walk if you can can be super beneficial. Helps the tension release.

If you or someone you know struggles with social anxiety, networking or confidence generally when presenting at meetings or in life, let’s talk.

Everyone I work with (and me!) have benefited from doing the inner work (managing inner critic, overthinking and unhelpful beliefs) to help enable more confidence.

So you don’t blush like the Apple on the right!! This was totally me age 21 working in a design agency in Clerkenwell at stand up morning meetings!!


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