Caron Proctor Life & Business Coach

https://youtu.be/iu9EnG1nSFA?si=WVuC-xV87WInjtpB

Here is my opening story from HERstory 26...a wonderful evening full of love, laughter, and heartfelt connection.

Full update coming soon...

HERstory 26 - Healing my mother story Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.

It’s okay to procrastinate. Just don’t procrastinate your life away.

This post was inspired by one of my wonderful clients earlier today.
Thanks. Mr X, you know who you are! I loved having another breakthrough moment.

I’ve been procrastinating over practising my opening talk for HERstory.

I ask my speakers to know their story, find the through line, not rely on their notes and take the audience somewhere.

And underneath my procrastination was a fear:

What if I can’t do what I’m asking them to do?

I was unsure. So I got stuck.

The word procrastination actually comes from the Latin procrastinare, meaning “to put off until tomorrow.”

So apparently we humans have been doing this for centuries.

But procrastination isn't always about the thing we're avoiding.

Often, it’s about how that thing makes us feel.

Unsure. Overwhelmed. Uncomfortable. Afraid of getting it wrong. Not knowing where to start.

Putting it off gives us a little temporary relief. And that’s okay.

It becomes a problem when procrastination starts getting in the way of the things we need to do, or the things we dream of doing.

For me, I eventually just started. I walked. I wrote. Far too much.

Then I trimmed it, cropped it, changed it and kept going.

I started messy, unsure and worried. And slowly, it started to work.

I didn’t wait until I felt confident. Starting helped me become confident.

So if you’re procrastinating over something, instead of getting frustrated with yourself, try getting curious.

What am I actually stuck on?
What am I avoiding feeling by putting this off?

Be compassionate with the answer. Then start somewhere.
Because sometimes tomorrow is absolutely fine.

Give yourself permission to procrastinate sometimes.
Just don’t procrastinate for so long that the life you want becomes the life you wish you’d lived.

Love & Stardust

C xx

I love being frugal.

I love finding a bargain, making things last and knowing I can live well without spending carelessly.

But I'm also learning that sometimes the cheapest choice is not the most loving one.

My mum rarely put herself first. She would walk and catch buses across the city to get the cheapest basic haircut. As children, we travelled miles to the cheapest clothes shop in town.

When my dad lost his job, I was given a free school coat. It had a very distinct red lining, so everyone knew who was “poor”.

I felt so ashamed that I stopped wearing it.

I chose being cold over being seen.

That stays with you.

Even now, I can still reach for the cheapest meal on the menu. I keep clothes long after they feel like me. I can feel tension when I spend money on myself, even when I can afford to.

I rebelled against some of my mum’s frugality, but I still carried the belief:

"Nice things are for special occasions; we can't afford that".

So I'm learning a new way.

I can be frugal without depriving myself.

I can be sensible without always choosing the least.

I can buy the coat, wear it, and let myself feel warm and beautiful.

I can ask:

What is the most loving choice I can comfortably afford?

Sometimes that will still be the cheaper option.

And sometimes it will be the meal I actually want, the clothes that fit the woman I am now, or the easier choice that saves me time, energy and discomfort.

Because the cheapest option can still cost us.

It can cost us warmth. Ease. Dignity.

Pleasure. And sometimes, ourselves.

I’m not learning to be extravagant, babe. Don't worry, Mum!

I’m learning not to abandon myself in the name of being good with money, or the good girl.

Have you ever caught yourself saying, "Good grief!"?

I know I have.

Usually when I'm surprised.

"Good grief, that's expensive."

"Good grief, look at the size of that cat!"

It's one of those phrases many of us grew up with, yet I recently discovered it wasn't originally about grief at all. It's believed to have become a gentler way of saying "Good God", a polite expression people used instead.

But what if we borrowed those words and gave them a whole new meaning?

What if good grief became something worth understanding?

A year ago, I lost my beautiful little pug, Alfie.

He wasn't just a dog.

He was my little black angel.

Always by my side. Funny.Brave.Loyal.

He made ordinary days feel special simply because he was in them.

When he passed, it hurt like hell.

To be honest, it still does.

There are days when it's still hard to talk about him without my eyes filling with tears.

I remember sitting with that pain and having a thought that completely changed how I saw it.

I'm hurting this much because I loved this much.

The depth of my grief was simply the reflection of the depth of my love.

How lucky am I to have loved so deeply that saying goodbye could hurt this much?

Grief wasn't destroying me.

It was honouring love.

It was beautiful and brutal all at once, a brutiful feeling.

The kind that cracks your heart while reminding you it was wonderfully full.

And then I thought about my boys.

Every time I fly home after visiting them in Wellington, I feel it again.

As the plane lifts off, there's a heaviness in my chest.

A blanket of sadness that the visit is over.

Sometimes tears.

But woven through that sadness is something else.

Gratitude. Joy. Love

The quiet smile that says, I'm so glad we had that time together.

I never want that feeling to disappear.

Because if I stopped feeling sad when I left them, perhaps I'd also stop appreciating how precious those moments are.

That's good grief.

It's the ache that reminds us something mattered.

The tears that tell us love was here.

The sadness that walks hand in hand with gratitude.

Maybe good grief isn't something to fix.

Maybe it's one of the most beautiful prices we ever pay for loving deeply.

And if that's true...

I wouldn't want a life without it.

What happens when you feel grief? Do you feel it, push it away, or park it somewhere for another time, like never?

Happy August! 💛

This is probably my biggest month of the year for events here in Nelson.

If I'm honest, I don't often stop to acknowledge what I've built. Like many of us, I tend to tick one thing off the list and move straight on to the next.

So today, I'm making myself pause.

This month, I'll be hosting a sold-out HERstory, bringing our wonderful HERA women together for our monthly events, and continuing to work alongside my incredible life coaching clients.

I never take for granted that people choose to spend their time with me, trust me with their stories, or invite me to be part of their lives.

Thank you.

Whether you've been to HERstory, joined HERA, sat on my coaching couch, listened to me on the radio, followed along here, or simply liked or shared a post...thank you for being part of this journey.

If you'd like to see what's coming up this month, join one of our events, book a coaching session, or simply connect; I'd love to hear from you.

🔗 www.lifecoachnelson.co.nz

Happy August, everyone.

Here's to a month of connection, courage and doing work that matters.

Caron xx

Caron Proctor, Life Coach | Life coach | Nelson, New Zealand Helping people feel happy, confident and less anxious, manage anxiety, relationships and build a life or business Life Coach in Nelson, Life Coach in New Zealand, online and face to face coaching, experienced and powerful life coaching

Tune into The Breeze Breakfast show this morning just after 7am and catch SOUL FOOD.

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