Stokes Valley Football Club

The trophies have arrived, the food is ready to go and the beer is cold and has been ordered in abundance. Tomorrow is senior prizegiving, a time to have a drink and celebrate the positives and say goodbye to the 2026 season. Doors open from 6.30pm and the club would love a great turnout from all our teams as we look to the future of the club and our 60th anniversary in 2027. See you there!

Great to see SVFC represented by Ryan, Tiana and Jess. Well done! ⚽️⚽️❤️🖤💛

Congratulations to the 24 talented young people selected for our Young Leaders Programme this October!

We received an outstanding number of applications and were incredibly impressed by the quality of this year’s applicants. The selected group has shown enormous potential, and we look forward to supporting them as they develop into future leaders within our sporting community.

The programme will take place on 5 and 6 October

Weekend fixtures are live.
Grab your coffee, grab your scarf, and head down to support the Stokes Valley teams.

Our own Symon King has organised a Fantasy Football league for the season and he wants you to join it.

"Stokes Valley FC" mini league is now live.

Joining the league couldn't be easier. Simply use the link below and you'll be added automatically after you've entered the game.

https://fantasy.premierleague.com/leagues/auto-join/mt4h9h

League Code: mt4h9h

Looking forward to playing against you this season!

Fantasy Premier League, Official Fantasy Football Game of the Premier League Official Fantasy Premier League 2026/27. Free to play fantasy football game, set up your fantasy football team at the Official Premier League site.

The mighty totara has fallen.

In a season for the Mentors that’s been on life support for some time, the performances of Symon King, AKA Cheltenham’s Meat Shield, have been an example of unmuzzled, beefy fury as the team’s skipper constantly asks for better performances. He’s the stallion in the backline, an often deranged and marauding shield of mutton that galvanises his peers, harangues them, but he has been let down too many times in 2026.

Troubled by calf knack and knee twang much of the winter, Sy finally went down on Saturday…. and didn’t get back up. Patrolling the Mentors’ back 3 with the efficiency and snarl of an Eastern European tank commander against old foes Naenae, the Meat Shield was struck late by an opposition chachi known, aptly, as Chopper.

The ball had been moved on by Symon midway through the second half and, because the referee was following the ball, didn’t spot Chop filling the strawberry blonde’s space. The Meat Shield was careered into and while his body jolted with the impact, his knee stayed where it was. Down he went in a heap, an unusual sight on any football field he graces. Helped to the sideline, his season is like he prefers his steak – well done.

It was a shame because Sy has nursed the Mentors through a poor campaign. In the changing room he reads aloud from his newly released book, The Art of Defending, telling us how we’re all doing it wrong. To be fair, his defending is outstanding on many occasions for the Mentors, and of course we wish him all the best for a summer recovery. Not falling over at Beervana this week and making the injury worse will help his cause no end.

Despite the Meat Shield’s departure, the Mentors ran out 2-1 winners on a pretty average pitch (Delaney 2) where the menace of rain never eventuated and some good football was played throughout.

The Gazelle, Ryan Harvie, showed off his importance with two brilliantly taken goals, one in each half. The first was following a poor clearance from the goalkeeper, which Ryan smashed in with his left foot from outside the box for 1-0, while his second was a stunner with his head.

Spencer thwacked in a purler of a free kick from wide on the right and the Gazelle stole in between two defenders on the penalty spot to bury the header. While it was central to the goal and close to the ‘keeper, the sheer ferocity as it slapped off Ryan’s melon meant there was zero chance of stopping it.

The match peaked and troughed as these teams are reasonably even, but the workrate of DJ, Jareth and Blair in the middle edged the contest for the home side. On a pitch that managed to be both heavy and spongy, the trio were excellent in picking up scraps, harassing, tackling, fighting and feeding the likes of the Gazelle and Fireman Steve Williams to fly forwards.

At the back, Blue continued his excellent season with stout defending, along with Carl, Spence and, after the Meat Shield was helped off, DJ as he dropped back to defend. Jason Momoa, as per, was as solid as a five-legged chair between the sticks and it was great to see the big man back after a week off with an ankle boo-boo.

While the referee was constantly questioned on the veracity of his decisions – to be expected from the yahoos in both teams – the match was definitely played in good spirits as Naenae completed their season and the Mentors now have just one to go, at Delaney on Saturday. There will be some weary and relieved bodies at the end of this last 90 minutes.

Thanks to Naenae Football Club for the banter and Aj Sheterline for the cracking photos.

Stokes Valley Senders Wellington 4 Round 2 Winners!

Congratulations to the Stokes Valley Senders with their 2-1 win over Brooklyn North United on Saturday.

The boys worked really hard throughout the season to make it this far and we are excited for them.

They will have another chance to win silver before the year is out where they face Brooklyn North again in the Wellington Bowl final.

Goodluck Boys!

Dear diary,

It’s been weeks since my last confession/entry/divulgence. In that time, dearest diary, the Mentors have shipped 13 goals in 3 games in foul weather, two of those matches played at Delaney Park on a ground that looks like it’s out of one of those grainy films from the 1970s, as lumbering centre halves carved their way through mud in places like Bradford and Peterborough.

Injuries have take their toll and while the Mentors’ can never be accused of not having moxie or spirit, there hasn’t been that cutting edge that better grounds and certain players can bring to the fold.

On 25 July, there was a loss to dirty old Stop Out at the most malodorous ground in the region, Hutt Park. While the stench from nearby Seaview hung over the ground like a pall and the wind and the rain were sideways, the home side made the better of the dreadful conditions. Playing with the wind at their backs in the opening half, Stop Out went 3-nil to the good as the ground cut up and the Mentors struggled to get the ball out of the puddles and anywhere as the gale bared its teeth.

Stop Out, to their credit, played well into the wind, scoring 4 in the second half. The Mentors, through Spence (off his head!), Blair (off his head!) and DJ (with his foot!) dragged the goal difference back a little, but our porous defence left Ben stranded more than once. The fact he gave Stop Out an early advantage by throwing the ball into the back of a retreating striker, and that one of the home team’s goals was miiiiiiiiiiiiiles offside is by the by – the Mentors didn’t deserve a good result as no one adapted to the field and weather environment.

Much worse than the 7-3 defeat was the loss of the Applez. On one of his mazy, crossfield, hobbit-on-an-adventure runs across the front of the Stop Out defensive line in the first half, he hit the deck hard…… and dislocated his shoulder. A quick attempt to put the b**g shoulder back in failed, so an ambulance was called. They too had trouble doing a procedure in the back of the bus, so off to hospital Applez went.

We heard from him later that it went back in ok and at the quiz night some weeks later Applez was in good spirits, but his football is done for the winter. Hopefully not forever, but when you have a shoulder that regularly pops out of its socket, you’re left with two options: more surgery, or retirement. We hope it’s not the latter as Applez leaves a huge role with his workrate and uncanny ability to score goals off his bum and knee.

The 2-0 loss to Marist a week later was galling. Yes, Delaney # 1 was hideous to play on, but the Mentors played like guiless chooks, and Marist feasted on the buffet that was served up to them.

Cheltenham’s Meat Shield, Symon King, put his concrete shoulders into the fray more than once and was a walrus in defence, but the midfield were at sea in the boggy mire, while not much happened up front. The shield of meat quite rightly went off like a bat in a biscuit tin at his players for not showing any bottle – giving the ball away frequently, putting himself and other defenders under too much pressure, not making the right decisions.

The match had 0-0 written all over it, before a Marist striker stole in behind the Mentors’ defence in the second half and slotted it under Ben. And not only did he score, but in doing so followed through and clipped Aquaman’s ankle – the big fella was forced off and replaced in goal by the Snakes’ loanee player, Phil, who’s resting blood pressure is never anything below “searing”. We all learnt some new curse words from Phil that day.

As per usual Blair, Spence and Jareth worked their socks off in the grassless morass that was Delaney 1 but it was a match where the plane was parked on the ground and never took flight. Without Applez and the Gazelle (the latter’s new career as a pet food taster keeping him busy), the Mentors are light up top, although Stu gamely puts himself around to pester defences.

So, to Saturday, and a match against Karori on # 1 again where we knew 3 points could put a golden tinge on what’s been a terrible season.

Alas, the 4-1 loss sums up a lot. Stu scored an excellent goal and it was fantastic to see Dan Jarvis take time away from teaching yoga in caravan parks to stand in goal for us, but it was much the same.

Daniel made a couple of tidy saves in the first half with his dinner plate-sized mitts, but a mish*t shot at goal made it 1-0, before a defensive lapse (Dando) let a striker hare away to round Dan for 2-0. Although Stu brought it back to 2-1 with a nice finish, Blue unfortunately putting one into his own goal summed up the day.

It wasn’t that Karori were a much, much better team. Or that the Mentors have give up. None of that. It’s that this is a team down on a bit of confidence, has a mounting injury toll and a lack of a striker that can score goals for fun.

Luckily, aside from Dando having his nose slightly rearranged to one side, there were no injuries in the loss to Karori. Heads are down, but the determination to carry on is still there. Jarvo couldn’t walk Sunday after his booming drop kicks and woooooing, but we hope to get Jason Momoa back between the sticks for the final two games.

A handful of Mentors have seen this team go through steep drops and sharp turns in the past decade – from 14 points in Masters 1 just a few years ago, to making the decision to drop out of that grade as players leave, to where we are now. Flying the flag comes with the need to put your head over the parapet and stare into danger every week and there’s no sign of that stopping anytime soon.

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It's that time of year! See you there ⚽️⚽️❤️🖤💛

Another big weekend of football for our club.

Our teams are out across the region, and every voice on the sideline counts.

Take a look at this week’s fixtures and cheer the players on.

Oh, what a night! ⚽️❤️💛🖤

Another quiz night done and dusted! A huuuge night for the club, with more than $9500 in turnover. Lots of banter, finger pointing and cheering during the quiz as the V-Nix prevailed, claiming the coveted SVFC Quiz Night trophy. One team were even dressed up (see the photos) and that may be something we look at next year...

We couldn't have done it without support from our club members and wider supporters, who opened their wallets to get in the door, buy raffles and have a drink or two. Our sponsors came through yet again - the list is long but the biggest thank you is reserved for our main sponsor Jarvis Plumbing + Gasworks, who generously donated the Air NZ mystery getaway prize, valued at $1780, won by Charlie from the Snakes. It was nearly a re-draw until he located his ticket!

Anna Corbin and Henny Penny Insurance donated a fantastic $500 Canopy Escapes prize and a big thank you also to Dave Brown, Rhys Finlay Contractors Ltd and Mico for the drill set, Manor Park golfing voucher and heaps of other gear to give away.

Thanks, too, to these other organisations and businesses, who gave us vouchers which were greatly received:
Love Pickle Club Wellington
Bluebridge
Speights Ale House, Petone
Boneface Brewing Company
Judgeford Golf Club
Daytona Raceway, Brewtown ($300 voucher!)
Lighthouse Cinema Petone
McDonald's
Inter Football NZ
Panhead Custom Ales
Bunnings Warehouse New Zealand
Caltex Stokes Valley (the Wahs socks were a big hit!)
Stokes Valley Pool + Fitness
Dando family

Cheers, also, to Jez for his sterling work in the kitchen, setting out food for halftime, and the Diver father/son duo of Casey and Darren, who were on their feet the whole time behind the bar.