Oliver Kalali

We’re looking for 20 people for a limited pilot experiment before a larger study being developed in academic collaboration with Tilburg University.

The experiment is about the Togething method for changing self-image and personal narrative through celebrating small wins, giving and receiving positive social reinforcement, and seeing whether this can help people feel more capable, more motivated, less stuck, and better in their daily life without forcing yourself to try harder.

For 2 weeks, you’ll spend about 3 to 5 minutes per day celebrating one or two small wins, no matter how small, and supporting others who do the same. Based on what you prefer, the pilot can include community support, an accountability partner, text support, or 1:1 coaching with me personally.

You’ll also complete a short self-evaluation at the beginning, after week 1, and after week 2, so we can look at changes in areas such as energy, mood, clarity, motivation, progress, self-belief, feeling supported, hope, and meaning.

This pilot experiment is for people who:

* can communicate in English
* are willing to stay with it for the full 2 weeks
* are comfortable enough with technology to use a new app
* have an area of life they genuinely want to improve
* are supportive and willing to encourage others in a simple, respectful way

If you’re interested, please send a message to this page (Oliver Kalali) with “pilot experiment”, and I’ll guide you through the next step. Please don’t start using Togething before communicating with me.

Note: please only like this post if you are seriously interested in participating, because I need to estimate the right numbers.

Edit:
Participation is free.
Also, please apply even if this post already has more than 20 likes, because not everyone who likes the post will follow through.

Being yourself is a job that you can never do wrongly!
Because the very notion of being yourself means being unique. How can there be a standard for being unique?

Many people would read this and nod in confirmation. Then why are most of us so uncomfortable with the way we are and the way we’re perceived?

•
Want to talk?
Message Oliver Kalali

Life contains pain, for various reasons; undesirable things that have happened, desirable things that have not happened yet. Different people deal with this pain at different depths.

And then we also need meaning. Each adult sooner or later realizes that "meaning" is not a supplement, but rather an essential dimension of life, without it we can't continue.

And of course, we wish meaning would reduce the pain.
That's a right intention, and everything starts from here. The integration journey started the same way for me, 20 years ago.

But usually in pursuing such meaning, people fall off the wagon way too soon. They get trapped in various ideas and beliefs with shiny promises.
Maybe one reason is that people want a quick fix and aren't ready to walk the walk.

And whenever you want a quick fix, unfortunately there are people who would happily sell it to you, like "manifestation" sellers. "You want meaning that creates wealth? Come and buy it from me."
When there's a demand, there will be a supply.

Sorry to say it this way, but people are lazy for inner work. They think only external tasks deserve their energy, not the most fundamental matters of life which are internal.
They want to skip the "understanding" stage. It will never work. Period.
Without understanding, it would be either illusion or bypassing.
And understanding requires curiosity and fearless readiness to investigate what's inside, not in the past, but right now, here.
Who are you? What is identity? what is time (past, future)? what is suffering? what is desire? what is relationship? what is the awareness that persists even in the silence of meditation? what is inner freedom?

It might sound a lengthy process and typically it is, but it doesn't necessarily have to be very long. and it might also sound abstract and distant from the practicality of life, until you realize that life is nothing but these meanings in action! Actually at some point, all the questions converge toward one "point". That's where life starts to make real sense for the first time and the distinction between inner and outer world gradually disappears. That's where "creation" becomes a possibility, not through beliefs and ideas, but rather through "seeing".
You don't need to abandon the rational mind at any point in this process. If someone encourages you to do so, you're not in the right place.

If you have that golden motive of an honest curiosity, you will find a way forward and you can do it on your own. and there's actually value and learning in all those trial-and-error years when you walk alone. but if you wish my companionship in this, to get to the core of matters in a direct and clean way, I'm willing to help as much as it's practically possible for me. I offer one free 55-minute conversation if what I wrote speaks to you.
You can book a meeting directly in my calendar with this link:
https://calendly.com/contact-togething/new-meeting

You'll find me a very approachable person and easy to communicate with, like a best friend that you didn't know you had.

After that session, you'll know if you want to continue alone or need further sessions in a flexible paid arrangement. In either case, I won't send any reminder. Interested people come back to me on their own.

If you still have any questions, you can ask in the comments or send me a message.

The real distinction between spiritual approaches, to me, is not the “-ism” that one associates with, the teachers that you admire, or the details of your journey, but rather how you view “ego”.

Do you see it as something bad, neutral, or beautiful? Do you see it as just a part of the whole? Do you believe it has to be terminated so that you get free?

That’s your real spiritual position. All the rest is derived from this.

Goodness can't win wars.

The beliefs about what's beyond the mind are still content of the mind.

Clarity is not seeing beyond the mind, by the mind. That’s a game.
Clarity is the mind seeing itself in the moment, in action.