beyourbestself_marasmg

My son had his school show this week.

Last time I brought him flowers afterwards. He looked at them, then looked at me, and said — Mum, I don't really like flowers. I would have preferred fuet.
Spanish sausage. Instead of roses.

So this time I came prepared. He was very happy.
When he was five he once told me fuet was his favourite fruit. I have never forgotten that.

This week I have been thinking about 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 — partly because of something that came up in my white paper research. One of the things that surprised me most when I interviewed 28 senior global leaders about the future of leadership was that 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘢𝘥𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘨𝘺 𝘰𝘳 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦.

It was: 𝗕𝗲 𝗞𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗢𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀.

From CEOs, managing directors, regional VPs. Across 14 industries.
Not as a soft skill. 𝗔𝘀 𝗮 𝗳𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻.

𝗣𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 — 𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴.

What does kindness look like in your leadership right now?

𝗟𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗙𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝘄𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝗮 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗲-𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝗯𝗮𝗿𝗯𝗲𝗰𝘂𝗲 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗱𝘀 𝘄𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲𝗱...

Just the two of us. Good food, no agenda, the kind of conversation that only happens when you are not trying to have it.

At some point we started discussing a business proposal I have been working on. He asked me — 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦?

I had been so focused on getting it right that I had stopped asking myself what right actually meant.

I caught myself performing a confidence I did not quite have yet. Going through the motions of certainty before the thinking was done.
Reflecting upon it, I notice this in leaders too. Not dishonesty — usually the opposite. A genuine desire to move things forward, to not slow the room down, to appear like you have it together.

But some of the best decisions I have made, and the best leadership conversations I have been part of, started with someone willing to say — I am still working this out. What do you see?

That kind of honesty does not slow things down.
It tends to make everything sharper.

What helps you stay honest with yourself when the pressure is to just have the answer?

𝗧𝘄𝗼 𝗯𝗮𝗻𝗸 𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗱𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗸.

Monday felt like a proper reset. Dog walk, kids on bikes, lunch out with friends, arts and crafts at home in the afternoon. My son and daughter had wanted playdates but I managed to convince them they were also with their families — which made me smile more than it did them, I think. Barbecue dinner. Early-ish bed and Tuesday it was only off for my husband ☺️

Today started gently too. A run after the school drop, then lunch with my husband at the harbour, watching the water, talking about work and life the way you can only do when there is no agenda and nowhere else to be.

That kind of conversation — unhurried, looking at something beautiful, in particular water in my case — always clarifies things faster than any strategy session.

Then back to work, some writing, and a genuinely fascinating deep dive into where AI is heading that left me thinking for longer than I expected.
Later on I am going to pick up my son from his playdate and cook something light at home.

I used to feel guilty on days like this. Like not being fully productive was somehow a problem to solve.
I do not feel that anymore.

𝘙𝘦𝘴𝘵, 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦, 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 — these are not the opposite of good leadership. They are what makes it possible.

What does a good reset look like for you?

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗦𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗧𝗮𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗠𝗲 𝗔𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽

I remember one of my early leadership meetings after moving abroad for work.

I had prepared carefully.
I knew the strategy.
I knew the numbers.
I walked into the room confident we would leave aligned.

But I completely misread the silence in the room.

In the environments I had worked in before, silence often meant agreement or reflection.
In this context, it meant something very different.

I only understood that afterwards.

That meeting stayed with me because it taught me something no leadership course really had:
cross-cultural leadership is not only about adapting behaviour or learning business etiquette.

It’s about remaining curious long enough to realise your assumptions may not be accurate.

Over time, I’ve come to believe that some of the strongest leaders in complex and international environments are not necessarily the fastest to adapt.

They are the ones willing to listen longer.
Observe more carefully.
And stay open, even when they are experienced.

𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗳𝘁 — 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗰𝗸𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝘂𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 — 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘺.

I’d be curious to hear what leadership experiences have most challenged your assumptions over time.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗤𝘂𝗶𝗲𝘁 𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗶𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗣𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲

One of the hardest things for leaders — especially experienced ones — is resisting the pressure to appear certain too quickly.

I’ve seen this often in complex environments and periods of change. And honestly, I’ve felt it myself at times.

When uncertainty rises, many leaders move faster.
Decisions get rushed.
Silence gets filled immediately.
Questions are answered before there’s really space to think.

Not because they lack capability.
Usually because slowing down feels uncomfortable. Even risky.

But over the years, working across different cultures, organisations, and leadership teams, I’ve noticed that the leaders who create the most trust are rarely the ones performing certainty the fastest.

They create space before reacting.
They are willing to say:
“I don’t have the full picture yet.”
And somehow, that honesty strengthens their leadership rather than weakens it.

In complex environments, leadership presence is not about having all the answers immediately.

Sometimes it’s about staying grounded long enough for better thinking — and better conversations — to emerge.

I’m curious how other leaders experience this tension between decisiveness and uncertainty in complex environments.

𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗺𝘆 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝗸𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘁𝗼.

Not the statistics. Not the framework. Just this one quiet observation that sat underneath all the data.

The leaders who felt most prepared for what's coming were not the most experienced ones in the room.
𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝘂𝗻𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻.
Not to throw away what they know. But to hold it lightly enough to let something new in.

That is a completely different skill from expertise. And most leadership development doesn't even address it.

I find that both humbling and hopeful.🌟

If this resonates, there is much more where it came from — the full research is now available.

👉 Link in comments.

Great feeling 🥳