Nancy Abela Trauma Informed Coaching

If you want your child to become open and communicative, learn to become a good listener. Listen to understand, without blame or criticism and validate without trying to fix, without jumping straight into giving advice 💕💕💕

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Self-regulation is NOT controlling your emotions. It is holdiing space, validating, soothing and integrating them. It takes training, commitment and consistency. It is the bedrock of all healing and the foundation of all healthy relationships 💕✨🤗

In CPTSD recovery, we learn to give ourselves what we REALLY need. Structure gives us predictability and consistency. It is one of the things we need for our nervous system to feel safe. Without structure, we will perpetuate the loop of flight and freeze: either pushing ourselves too hard or not doing what we want to do. I help my clients to create a trauma informed, neurodivergence affirming structure which they WILL be able to follow ❤️‍🩹....💖

No, thank you ✋🛑

If the abuse is reserved primarily for their romantic partner (and possibly for a scapegoat child), and with everyone else they are pleasant and charming, the abuser is in control and intentional, not mentally ill 📢📢📢

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Anger, impatience, disbelief, ridicule...discourage the child from openijg up again 📢📢📢

You cannot be in denial, minimising what happened and its long term impact, justifying and rationalising, while at the same time being a cycle breaker 📢📢📢

It feels like relief, a distraction, numbing out the pain, a release...then slowly but surely it traps you in a cage which keeps getting smaller and smaller ❤️‍🩹