Benjamin Zulu Global

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THINGS WISE PEOPLE NEVER TELL ANYONE Truths you should die with

I'll tell you a money secret if you promise to keep it. There are things you don't preach until you've practiced them and seen the results yourself.

This is one of them.

Keep a substantial amount of savings aside and don't do anything to that account. Let it sit there knowing it's yours and always available if you ever need it.

That simple act will change your life like magic.

Many people think money is for buying bigger houses, better cars and extravagant holidays. But no. Refuse to spend that money on any of those things and watch what happens to the way you show up in the world.

Money gives you the ability to choose who to work with, what offers to accept, who to date and whether to participate in anything at all.

When you negotiate while worrying about next month's bills, you're in a very different psychological position than when you don't.

This account will give you something that seems unrelated to money, yet it's the highest privilege of wealth.

The ability to say no and stand by your word. When you can afford the consequences of turning people down, you're free in life.

The highest privilege of money is not flying first class but rather choosing without desperation.

Money kills fear and births faith. A six-month savings cushion can give you the confidence to say no to imperfect opportunities until you accept the ones that move you forward.

Poor people splash money to spoil themselves. Wealthy people stash it away as a confidence booster.

The most grand gesture of the monied is not flashy jewelry but a quiet confidence and remaining unmoved whether they win deals or not.

Lastly, money gives you the power to think long term. When you know your next six months are covered, you can negotiate with a larger perspective than when you are down to zero.

The worst decisions are made in financial crisis because survival trumps success. When you need to stay afloat, you compromise on growth to secure survival.

Even if you can't save this money at once, do it in bits. By the time a year goes by and you have that confidence kitty stocked up, you'll become a very different person.

They will threaten to fire you and you'll keep your calm as if you didn't hear it. They'll be shocked instead and start repeating themselves.

You'll quote high figures in your negotiations to reflect your real expertise instead of quoting small figures out of fear of losing the deal.

Before long, you'll be doing lesser work for more pay, making more money for less sweat.

That's the ultimate advantage of money. It gives you the room to ask for better and not feel devastated when people say no. The few who end up saying yes move you farther ahead than those who left.

And that's the definition of financial high ground. It makes everything work in your favor.

I hope you try it.

(©️ Benjamin Zulu Global)

Maybe I'm not supposed to tell women this, but if you want a resourceful man, you must be willing to put up with a degree of loneliness inside the marriage.

This is because the men who can afford to give you the life you want cannot also be home with you every time. This is not about neglect but balance.

He will build you your dream home, get you that dream car and the clothes other women envy. But there will be a silent trade-off.

The kind of trade-off you can't complain about or you'll ruin the whole matrix and either pull him down or get ejected from his life. Either way, you'll lose the privilege.

The trade-off is this: rich men don't live neat, predictable lives. They don't even use the term work-life balance because wealth never comes from balance. It comes from the extra mile.

This means there will be times you'll make good lunch but he won't come home to take it with you. Other times you'll go to bed without him or wake up to find he's been working for hours already.

This is true both for the employee and the employer, the entry-level man and the Elon Musk alike.

Yet you know he's not neglectful. He's committed to his family, both to love them and give them the best life.

That commitment sometimes demands that he's in the battlefield longer than he would like.

He misses you while he's away. He keeps in touch with you and the kids. But some of his meetings or work sessions can go for hours nonstop. An entire morning or afternoon.

And you know he's not with other women. He has not forgotten you.

Because he's an exceptional worker, he's frequently at the front line of the most complex cases. These types of cases are high-stakes, and once opened, they must be executed to the end. That's why they pay highly.

The wealthy side of life is not organized in 8-to-5. It's organized in batches of work. Something with a deadline that must be met. A project that has no flexibility and huge money is on the line.

The good part is that these seasons are not permanent. They usually come and go at the same times of the year or during your family's exponential growth.

The times when you're fighting on multiple fronts, for example, like having young children while also building a home.

Those are the times your man will come home and knock out on the sofa while you have a lot to share with him. Or he munches on the dinner you prepared so meticulously with half-open eyes while yawning from fatigue and missing sleep.

And you don't go to vent about it to your girls or post it on the family chat. When he doesn't come with you to family functions as he usually does, you give a neat explanation that's acceptable to the people, even when you edited it for effect.

You're not lying or pretending. You're protecting your family's privilege. The world sees you live a fine life and they don't know the price you have to pay. They imagine you're just lucky.

Again, you endure these seasons because you know they're not deliberate and they're not permanent. This is not a man who is keeping busy to avoid you. Neither is he always slammed with work like that.

He's simply paying the price of being an exceptional provider, and you remain his top priority. He makes sure you reap the fruit of his commitment as fully as you endured the bitter side of it.

So yes, the baby boo who is always home with you can never give you what the busy boss can give. If he's always available, he cannot be phenomenal. And if he's phenomenal, you'll need to accept seasons when he's not available.

It's a silent trade-off in every well-to-do marriage.

(©️ Benjamin Zulu Global)

Perhaps this is a good time for me to tell you why I don't engage women who lack common sense.

What do you see on the news? If women who have high-flying careers and track records of great achievements can still be overwhelmed by marital and family issues, how much more you who is running around getting children when you have no career?

If women who can both feed their children and bequeath them inheritance are still facing battles on other fronts, what chance do you stand when you're getting children you can't feed?

And then you start asking, 'My husband mistreating me. But I can't afford to leave because I have no money.' My friend. You don't understand survival and nobody can teach you that.

Never get more children than you can feed by yourself. Never engage your womb before you engage your work.

This is a perilous world for a woman. Marriage is not just a bed of roses but a potential battlefield for survival.

While hoping yours will never turn into one, you should be ready for it.

In short, women who have money are facing mental battles. Cultural restrictions. Gender biases.

How much worse will it be for you when you don't have money either? Get your money first. It'll make all other battles easier.

(©️ Benjamin Zulu Global)

Ladies and gentlemen…at long last!
Introducing the widely requested, highly sought-after, the elegant, the beautiful, the unmistakable Mrs. Zulu. 😂❤️

Yes… MY wife.

Some of you have already worked with her as a counselor and relationship coach.

But I thought it was time i brought all of you the woman who has made me who I am.

King makers don't always roar.

Sometimes they assure. Sometimes they encourage. They believe in you. Sometimes they build you from back stage.

That's what Lynn has done to me.

And now she's stepping forward to share her journey with a wider audience and I couldn't be more proud of her.

Who said the teacher can't be romantic again? 🤦🏽‍♂️😂

I hope you can see that marital problems can take you down even when you have no money problems. You can build a great career, but if you don't fix the problems in your family life, you're putting your life at risk.

Society has been telling women to endure stressful marriages because they already have children.

'Who will accept you when you have children already? Where will you go? You have a job and a home. Forget about the man and make yourself happy.'

Society would rather hear that you died than that you divorced. And no, they won't sympathize when you give up and take your life. They'll just bury you quickly to get rid of that bad omen.

And the children you cared so much about? They'll have to face that awkward exit and potential ridicule from your haters.

The same people who are saying she could have just left are telling other women in similar situations to endure.

'Your children need their dad. Don't break your family. What will people say? No marriage is perfect.'

Also, there are churches that don't allow divorce under any circumstances. In other words, telling you to just die there.

Society is full of hypocrisy. Love yourself selfishly. When your well-being is at stake, stop listening to just anyone. Think for yourself and do what you deem right to save yourself.

Let us also ask ourselves this question: 'Why do learned, well-to-do professionals not think of counseling and therapy when they're going through heavy stress?'

Because as a society, we still associate seeking help with admitting defeat.

Because we still think asking for help is exposing our family issues.

Because we underestimate psychological overwhelm.

We downplay our humanity.

This is what we're saying: if your marriage turns sour and there's no resolution in sight, don't start circling it and repeating fruitless reconciliations.

Go away and start another life. It's not easy, but it's better than losing yourself in the middle.

Children don't remain children forever. You will co-parent for a while, and they'll be grown soon.

Even if you've been separated from them, give it time. They will grow and seek you out. They can't replace you.

Give yourself permission to start again. Do not go down with a sinking ship.

Do you remember what our Lord told the disciples who followed him as he bore the cross to Golgotha, which, by the way, means the place of skulls?

He told them to think about themselves more. In other words, that he had gone the way it was written of him. But they, their destiny was still in negotiation.

The departed have gone to their own Golgotha. There's no point focusing on them anymore since they won't be coming back. We're the ones who still have a destiny to negotiate.

How will our stories end? Better or bitter?

(©️ Benjamin Zulu Global)