I am Kara Jay

Here is the pattern.

Most women were never taught to lead. We were taught to overfunction and call it leadership.

The trap is that doing more looks like devotion. Gets rewarded socially. And quietly produces the exact burnout you are trying to outrun.

You do not have a productivity problem. You have a trap.
The way out is not more grit. It is better systems. That is what we build in the workshop.

Comment if this landed. Workshop July 23, link will be posted this week. Stay Tuned!

It is time.

The RFD Sabbatical Workshop is officially back, and the first live room is Wednesday, July 23.

This is a workshop for women who are done managing their exhaustion and ready to build something different. We are going to name the traps, walk the frameworks, and start the actual planning together.

Every 2nd and 4th Wednesday from now through December, I am holding this room. Same time. Same space. Growing community.

This is the work I have been building toward for a long time. Come sit in it.
Stay tuned. Full details drop next week.

Comment WORKSHOP if you want to be the first to know.

I want to open July with one thing.

When outcomes are unclear, leaders start measuring effort.
And effort is a terrible scoreboard.
Because effort is visible. Outcomes are not always visible.

So we started watching who stayed late, who answered emails, who worked weekends, who looked stressed, who seemed committed.
And before long, we are measuring exhaustion instead of effectiveness.
The question is not who is working the hardest. The question is what outcome did we agree to create.

When outcomes are clear, effort becomes a tool.
When outcomes are unclear, effort becomes an identity.
And that is where leaders get trapped.

I have been sitting with this for a while. I think this is one of the most important truths I have to share this year.

Where in your life are you measuring effort instead of outcomes?

You probably can’t remember what you ate on a random day as a child. But I bet you can remember the moment that changed your life.

Maybe it was the day you met your best friend.
Maybe it was the teacher who believed in you before you believed in yourself.
Maybe it was the coach who refused to let you quit.
Maybe it was a mentor who saw something in you that no one else had noticed.

At the time, it probably felt like just another day.
Years later, you realized it quietly changed the trajectory of your life.

That’s what I think about every time FLY Girl Summer Camp begins.

Today, we welcome another group of incredible girls into an experience they’ll spend the next four weeks living together through. Over the next 195 hours, they’ll laugh, heal, build sisterhood, discover new possibilities, explore careers, strengthen their leadership, practice using their voices, and learn that taking care of themselves isn’t selfish. It’s necessary.

But here’s what I know…
Somewhere in those 195 hours…
A girl could potentially make a lifelong friend.

Someone could meet the mentor who changes the way she sees herself.
Someone could discover a gift she never knew she had.
Someone could find the courage to use her voice.
Someone could leave believing, “Maybe I really can.”

That’s why I never take this work lightly.

Ironically, I’m rarely ever under the weather, but today I’m cheering from the sidelines while an incredible team pours into our girls.

And maybe that’s the lesson I’m learning too.
Leadership isn’t about being in every room.

It’s about building something that continues changing lives, even when you’re not there to witness every moment.

As you look through these photos, I hope they don’t just remind you of camp.
I hope they remind you of your moment.
The one that looked ordinary while it was happening…
…but quietly changed your life forever.

What’s one moment from your childhood that still lives with you today?

I am out of office last week.

Family reunion. Some quiet prep for what's next. A whole lot of being where my feet are.

So I did what I tell everybody else to do. I poured a cup of coffee. I sat down. I let the to-do list wait.

Then restart.

If you're out of office too, or just need to be, this is your reminder. Pour the coffee. Sit down. Let it wait.

Let's coffee. Tell me one thing you're letting wait this week.