pooja_varshney_coach

*Where Are You?*

Are You Somewhere between looking after everyone else, you stopped looking after yourself.

Remember this:
The happier you become, the happier your family becomes.

Taking care of yourself isn't selfish.

It's one of the greatest gifts you can give the people you love.

So before your day begins...
Close your eyes.
Place your hand on your heart.
Take one deep breath and slowly say three times:

I matter too.
I am allowed to exist in my own life.

Today, I choose myself with love.

*आप कहाँ हैं?*

क्या ऐसा तो नहीं कि दूसरों का ख्याल रखते-रखते आप अपना ख्याल रखना ही भूल गए हैं?

यह बात याद रखें:
आप जितने खुश रहेंगे, आपका परिवार भी उतना ही खुश रहेगा।

अपना ख्याल रखना कोई स्वार्थ नहीं है।

यह उन लोगों के लिए सबसे बेहतरीन तोहफ़ों में से एक है जिनसे आप प्यार करते हैं।

तो, दिन शुरू होने से पहले...
अपनी आँखें बंद करें।
अपना हाथ अपने दिल पर रखें।
एक गहरी साँस लें और धीरे-धीरे तीन बार कहें:

मैं भी मायने रखता/रखती हूँ।
मुझे अपनी ज़िंदगी में अपनी जगह बनाने का हक़ है।

आज, मैं प्यार के साथ खुद को चुनता/चुनती हूँ।

My WRITING IN HINGLISH, HINDI & ENGLISH (give your feedback)

For Hinglish readers-

Umar k padaav se jaise jaise hum guzartey chaley jaatey
Naye rishtey aur zimmedariyo mei bandhtey chaley jaatey
Kuch rishtey humey aur nikhartey , toh kuch ki vajhse hum bikhartey chaley jaatey

Kuch सहनशीलता aur धैर्य ki kala se apney rishto ko aur khud ko (sawaar)सँवार letey, toh kuch unhi mei ulajh, jhunjhlatey chaley jatey

Kuch khud ko kabhi khodetey, kuch khud ko banaletey

kuch haalato se haar peedit(पीड़ित)ban jaatey,
Toh kuch apni koshish aur kaushal se khud ko ek behtar insaan banatey

Kuch khud ko akele sambhal lete, toh kuch प्रशिक्षक(Trainer/Coach) ya sammoh k नेतृत्व mei ek disha pa jatey

Aap ismei se khud ko kaha ho paatey ho?
Kya (मानसिकता) mindset hai aapka?
स्थिति ko kya aap swikaar kar, unmey naye raastey bana rhe ho?
Ya shikayato aur bahaano ki lambi list bana ek alochak bantey ja rhe ho??
SELF GROWTH(आत्म विकास) k liye aapney kya kadam uthaye??
Kabhi jabhi ya ek niyam aur clarity k saath chotey chotey kadam liye?

Vichar karkey dekhey aj !!!

For Hindi Readers-

उमर के पड़ाव से जैसे हम गुज़रते चले जाते हैं,
नए रिश्ते और जि़म्मेदारी में बंध चले जाते हैं l

कुछ रिश्ते हमें और निखारते हैं,
तो कुछ की वजह से हम बिखरते चले जाते हैं ।

कुछ स्थिरता और जि़म्में‌दारी की कला से अपने रिश्तें को और खुद को सँवार लेते हैं ,
तो कुछ उनमें उलझजाते,झुंझलाते चले जाते हैं।

कुछ खुद को कभी खोदते,
तो कुछ खुद को बनाते है।

कुछ हालात से हार पीड़ित बन जाते,
तो कुछ अपनी कोशिश और कौशल से खुद को एक बेहतर इंसान बनाते हैं।

कुछ खुद को अकेले संभाल लेते,
तो कुछ प्रशिक्षक/कोच या समूह के नेतृत्व में एक दिशा पा जाते हैं।

आप इसमे से खुद को कहां हो पाते हो?
क्या मानसिकता है आपकी?
स्थिति को क्या आप स्वीकार कर पा रहे हो?
उनमे नए रास्ते बना रहे हैं?

या शिकायतो और बहानो की लंबी सूची बना एक आलोकक बांटे जा रहे हो??
आत्म विकास के लिए अपने क्या कदम उठाएं??
कभी-कभी एक नियम या,और स्पष्टता के साथ छोटे-छोटे कदम उठा रहे हो?

विचार करके देखें आज !!

English Translation -

As we go through the stages of age,
One gets tied into new relationships and responsibilities.
Some relationships make us shine, while some make us fall apart.

Some improve their relationships and themselves through the art of stability and responsibility,
So some get entangled in them, keep getting irritated.

Some loose themselves,
Some build themselves.

Some become victims of defeat due to circumstances,
Some make themselves a better person with their efforts and skills.

Some handle themselves alone,
Some get direction through a Coach/trainer or in group.

Where do you find yourself in this?
What is your mindset?
Are you able to accept the situation?
Are you making new paths in them?

Or you are making a long list of complaints and excuses for yourself?
What steps should you take for self growth?
Are you taking consistent steps with clear goal or inconsistently get motivated n do?

GIVE A THOUGHT TODAY!!

WISHING YOU ALL
LOVE! LIGHT ! PEACE

~POOJA VARSHNEY
☀️ Mentor
I” AND “ U WOMEN’s CLUB INDIA 🇮🇳
Mindset Transformational Coach
Think about it today!!!

(Question)Have you ever thought!!!!!

Why are we not able to achieve our goals and dreams within the time frame because of our habits like laziness, self-doubt, mismanagement of self and time, procrastination, fear, past bad experiences, or environment.??

Solution-Addressing these habits involves-

Cultivating self-awareness.
Practicing self-discipline
Developing strategies to overcome challenges-
Include setting clear goals,
Breaking them down into manageable tasks, Seeking support from others,
Challenging negative thought patterns.

By consciously working to replace detrimental habits with positive ones, we can increase our chances of achieving our goals and dreams within our desired timeframe.
But most important reason what I feel is
when our thoughts &actions don't match, above solutions won't work.

When our thoughts and actions don't align, it can create a disconnect between our intentions and our behaviors, leading to several obstacles in achieving our dreams:

1. **Lack of Focus**: Without alignment, our efforts may be scattered, making it difficult to make meaningful progress toward our goals.

2. **Self-Sabotage**: Conflicting thoughts and actions can lead to self-sabotaging behaviors, such as procrastination or self-doubt, which hinder our progress.

3. **Inconsistency**: When thoughts and actions are not in sync, we may struggle to maintain consistency in our efforts, making it challenging to build momentum toward our dreams.

4. **Limited Beliefs**: Misaligned thoughts can reinforce limiting beliefs about ourselves and our abilities, holding us back from taking the necessary actions to achieve our dreams.

5. **Missed Opportunities**: Failure to act in alignment with our dreams may cause us to miss opportunities or overlook potential paths to success.

6. **Decreased Motivation**: When our actions do not reflect our aspirations, it can dampen our motivation and enthusiasm, making it harder to stay committed to our goals.

7. **Increased Stress**: The discrepancy between what we want and what we're doing can lead to increased stress and feelings of frustration or dissatisfaction.

8. **Strained Relationships**: Misalignment between our goals and actions can strain relationships with others who may not understand or support our aspirations.

Overall, when our thoughts and actions are not aligned, it becomes challenging to translate our dreams into reality, and we may find ourselves feeling stuck or unfulfilled.

To Match thoughts and actions to achieve your dreams involves several key steps,will share about in next week,

till then you people tell what steps you took or will take after this awareness?

GIVE A THOUGHT TODAY!! WISHING YOU ALL

LOVE! LIGHT ! PEACE
~ Pooja Varshney
☀️ Mentor
I” AND “ U WOMEN’s CLUB INDIA 🇮🇳
Mindset Transformational Coach

My WRITING -
COGNITIVE DISSONANCE

If our thoughts & actions don't match,do you know what is that state called?

When our thoughts and actions don't align,it is often referred to as **Cognitive Dissonance**.
Cognitive dissonance is a psychological concept introduced by Leon Festinger in 1957. It describes the mental discomfort or stress that a person experiences when they hold two or more contradictory beliefs, values, or attitudes, especially when their behavior conflicts with their beliefs or values.

For example, if a person values health but smokes ci******es, the inconsistency between their behavior (smoking) and their belief (valuing health) can create cognitive dissonance. To reduce this discomfort, individuals might change their behavior, justify their behavior, or alter their beliefs.

The state of cognitive dissonance can lead to various strategies to alleviate the discomfort, including:

1.Changing Behavior: Adopting new actions that align with one’s beliefs.
2. Changing Beliefs: Modifying beliefs to match actions.
3. Adding New Cognitions: Justifying the behavior by adding new thoughts or rationalizations.
4. Trivializing: Downplaying(giving less)the importance of the conflicting belief or action.
This concept is widely used in psychology to understand and explain a range of human behaviors and attitudes.

When our thoughts and actions don't align, it can create a disconnect between our intentions and our behaviors, leading to several obstacles in achieving our dreams:

1. Lack of Focus
2. Self-Sabotage(procrastination or self-doubt)
3. Inconsistency
4. Limited Beliefs
5. Missed Opportunities
6. Decreased Motivation
7. Increased Stress
8. Strained Relationships

Overall, when our thoughts and actions are not aligned, it becomes challenging to translate our dreams into reality, and we may find ourselves feeling stuck or unfulfilled.

Solution-
To Match thoughts and actions to achieve your dreams involves several key steps:

1. **Clarify your dreams:** Clearly define what you want to achieve. Write down your goals and dreams, making them specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART).

2. **Examine the Dissonance**: Understand why the inconsistency exists. Identify if it's due to conflicting beliefs, external pressures, lack of clarity, or other factors,as discussed above in detail.

3. **Visualize success:** Imagine yourself achieving your dreams. Visualization can help reinforce your commitment and keep you motivated.

4. **Set actionable steps:** Break down your dreams into smaller, actionable steps. Create a plan outlining what needs to be done to move closer to your goals.

5. **Stay focused:** Concentrate on the tasks that will bring you closer to your dreams. Avoid distractions and stay committed to your plan.

6. **Monitor your progress:** Regularly review your progress and make adjustments as needed. Celebrate your achievements along the way to stay motivated.

7. **Stay positive:** Cultivate a positive mindset and believe in your ability to achieve your dreams. Surround yourself with supportive people who encourage and inspire you.

8. **Take consistent action:** Consistency is key to success. Stay disciplined and take daily actions that align with your goals, even when faced with challenges or setbacks.

9. **Practice Patience:**Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither are dreams. Be patient with yourself and trust the process.

10. **Practice Self-compassion:**Understand that experiencing cognitive dissonance is normal and part of personal growth. Be kind to yourself during this process of aligning your thoughts and actions.

11. **Seek Support:**Surround yourself with people who support your dreams and encourage you to succeed. Don't be afraid to ask for help when needed.

12.**Reflect and Adjust:** Regularly reflect on your thoughts and actions. Assess whether they are aligned with your values and goals. If not, be open to adjusting your actions or reconsidering your beliefs.

By aligning your thoughts with your actions and staying focused on your dreams, you can create a powerful momentum that propels you toward success.
You can enhance personal effectiveness, achieve greater success, and experience a sense of harmony in your life.
Note -
Not everyone experiences cognitive dissonance to the same degree. Some people have a higher tolerance for uncertainty and inconsistency and may experience less cognitive dissonance than those who require consistency.

GIVE A THOUGHT TODAY!!

WISHING YOU ALL !!!
LOVE! LIGHT ! PEACE

~ Pooja Varshney
☀️ Mentor
I” AND “ U WOMEN’s CLUB INDIA 🇮🇳
Mindset Transformational Coach

FRIDAY WRITING

PROBLEM Vs CHALLENGE

An issue is a general matter that requires attention,
A problem is a specific difficulty that needs a solution, are always unwanted and we just want to get rid off them.
Challenges are basically some set of goals which you want to achieve by developing some skills,or strength or special effort.
challenge is a demanding task that can be an opportunity for growth, and an opportunity is a favorable circumstance that can lead to positive outcomes.

If you look a challenge as a problem probably it's your negativity but if you looks a problem as a challenge it shows your positivity and a strong will power.

Using the word "challenges" instead of "obstacles" or "problems" can help to frame situations in a more positive light for several reasons:

1-Positive Connotation: The word "challenge" inherently carries a more positive connotation compared to "obstacle" or "problem." It suggests something that can be overcome with effort and skill, rather than something that is insurmountable or negative

2-Encourages Problem Solving: Viewing situations as challenges encourages a proactive approach to finding solutions. When something is seen as a challenge, it prompts us to think creatively and look for ways to tackle it effectively.

3-Promotes Growth Mindset: Challenges are often seen as opportunities for growth and learning. Embracing challenges can foster a growth mindset, where individuals believe they can develop their abilities through dedication and hard work.

4-Less Discouraging: Calling something an "obstacle" or a "problem" can sometimes feel discouraging or overwhelming. On the other hand, framing it as a challenge can make it seem more manageable and less daunting.

5-Enhances Resilience: Overcoming challenges builds resilience and confidence. When individuals successfully navigate through challenges, they gain a sense of accomplishment and are better prepared to face future difficulties.

In summary, using the term "challenges" instead of "obstacles" or "problems" helps to cultivate a more positive and constructive mindset.
It shifts focus from dwelling on difficulties to actively seeking solutions and opportunities for growth.
This mindset can lead to more effective problem-solving and a greater sense of empowerment in dealing with various situations.
"I prefer to look at obstacles in life as a Challenge."
GIVE A THOUGHT TODAY!!

WISHING YOU ALL
LOVE! LIGHT ! PEACE

~ POOJA VARSHNEY
☀️ Mentor
I” AND “ U WOMEN’s CLUB INDIA 🇮🇳
Mindset Transformational Coach

How do I understand the difference between when someone hurts my ego vs when someone hurts my self-respect?
Are you able to differentiate in both??

Lets understand in detail,so that we can give these values to our kids n friends & help them to differentiate in both.,😁🙏

I heard this somewhere recently- “ When you treat yourself like a Queen, that is self-respect. When you want everyone around to treat you like a Queen, that’s ego.”

Ego and self-respect are both related to our sense of self-worth, but they are different in nature.

1-Ego is often associated with our need for recognition, validation, and superiority over others. It is more focused on external factors, such as social status, achievements, and possessions.

Self-respect, on the other hand, is related to our internal sense of dignity, values, and moral standards. It is more focused on our own perception of ourselves, rather than on others' opinions.

2- Ego: Hurt ego typically leads to short-term conflicts or a desire for revenge to restore one’s sense of pride or superiority.
Self-respect: Hurt self-respect tends to result in a desire for constructive change or distance from situations/people that compromise personal values or integrity.

3-When someone hurts your ego, it may be because they have challenged your sense of superiority or status, or they hav or they have criticized your accomplishments or possessions. This may lead to feelings of anger, frustration, or insecurity.

When someone hurts your self-respect, it may be because they have violated your values, beliefs, or moral standards. This may lead to feelings of shame, guilt, or disappointment

4-Ego will get hurt, it is very fragile and harsh. Ego hurts itself, the person who has it and those around him. Ego is a double-sided weapon. S
Self-respect might hurt other egoistic people or those with no sense, whose ego is defeated.
Otherwise, Self-respect doesn’t hurt itself or the person who has it, it is well-protected where it also acts as a shield around the one who has it.

5-Self-respect is genuinely reasonable, ego is not.

6-Ego is linked with expectations, self-respect is not.

7- Self-respect leads to true satisfaction with no dependability, but ego leads to false satisfaction or dissatisfaction, dependability and hurt.

8-Simply put, Self-respect implies self respect, mutual respect and equality, whereas Ego demands to please one’s own superiority feeling.

9-Ego makes you look down on someone, while, self-respect saves you from the impact or the influence from being looked down upon, also making you treat others equally.

10-Notice your emotional and behavioral responses to the situation.
Ego-driven reactions often involve defensiveness, anger, or a desire to prove oneself.
Self-respect-related responses may involve assertiveness, setting boundaries, or standing up for yourself in a respectful manner.

11- Ego needs others,to get satisfied.
Self-respect does not need anyone else,you are as important to yourself as anyone else.

12-Ego will feed the pride in one’s mind. Self-respect will obviously feed the respect in oneself.

The outcome might be similar, but the reason and the attitude behind the outcomes are different.
Lets understand with some examples -

Example 1
Ego : I’m the best , no one can compete me.

Self-respect : I’m good at *this particular subject * but there is more to explore and learn from others.

Example 2-
“I will never call or go to talk to him/her. Why should I? I expect him/her call or come to me to talk.”or He/she never messages first so nor will I.-EGO
“I am the one who always calls or goes to talk and do things to him/her, but I am never being reciprocated with the love and the value of our relationship from him/her. Let me stop doing until things become mutual between us.”- Self-respect.

Example 3-
“I was not the first person to be invited, prior to others. How could he do it? He invited other neighbors/colleagues before me. So I will not go to attend the function/party.” - Ego

“I was not at all invited to the function, if not formally, at least through a text. How’d you expect me to come? I will not attend the function to which I am uninvited.” -Self-respect

CONCLUSION -
It is important to recognize the difference between these two concepts and to be mindful of how you react to situations that may affect your ego or self-respect.

However, understanding the underlying emotions and motivations behind your feelings of hurt can help you identify whether it’s your ego or self-respect that has been affected.
By cultivating a strong sense of self-worth based on your internal values and beliefs,you can live a respectful life, without hurting other's self respect.

GIVE A THOUGHT TODAY!! WISHING YOU ALL

LOVE! LIGHT ! PEACE
~ Pooja Varshney
☀️ Mentor
I” AND “ U WOMEN’s CLUB INDIA 🇮🇳
Mindset Transformational Coach

Enjoying my own company..loving😘😘 myself..admiring ❤️❤️❤️myself...
I deserve my own attention,time ,love &care..
R u also busy in your life & not giving yourself love,warmth& your attention????
Its also Important.
TIME &LOVE FOR SELF. ..DEVELOP HEALTHY INTRAPERSONAL SKILLS

3 Days INCREDIBLE YOU FOUNDATION PROGRAM-SELF TRANSFORMATIONAL JOURNEY begins from HERE.....ArE YOU interested to become INCREDIBLE ??

While choosing your friends be careful.....as they affect your thought process directly..❤️dimag istemal kro dost bananey se pehle....par phir dosti nibhao❤️se dimag se nhi,😛