Kerry Wellbeing

A beautiful opportunity arose today to join a women's retreat in Brittas Bay with the wonderful Gillian of Gill Oz.

As I was driving down the N11 this morning, I was already feeling the enormity of the past 9 weeks surface. My brother Daniel was very much on my mind, driving the route he had taken so often over the years. My intention for the day was to have some space to simply feel.

Just then the song "Daniel my brother" by Elton John came on the radio. I arrived at the retreat venue feeling quite emotional and raw.

The day was so beautiful. The gathering of women in this beautiful venue, where we were taken care so well. The meditation, the circles around the pure, the crafting, the sea, the food... the whole day was just magic. Just what I needed.

I left feeling so held and nurtured. Thank you to you Gill and all the lovely women who you gathered.

Thank you for this gift of space and to feel in such a beautiful way.

Dan you are never far away ❤️

🌞 Grateful for the sunshine, the love and support of friends and family, and Paul❤️, my two signs from Dan (more about these another time), and the amazing support from Pieta.

Also finding comfort and support from connecting with some of Dan's closest friends. Trying to make sense of his loss. Step by step.. Missing him.

Our amazing Mum Joy is inspirational to us all. ❤️

The past 12 days have been filled with with shock, disbelief and deep sadness. The sudden death of my gorgeous brother Dan has left us all reeling. What has carried us through - especially my heartbroken Mum - is the huge outpouring of love for him, as well as love and support for us.

Thank you to everyone who has sent us thoughtful messages, friends calling with food or simply your presence, my Mum friends who have taken Freya, and Dan's wide circle of friends who have cried with us, as well as made us all laugh with many stories of Dan.

We gave Dan a beautiful send-off, a real celebration of the special son/brother/uncle/friend/colleague/running or biking buddy/doggie friend that he was. We are all heartbroken and it still feels quite surreal. As one of Dan's close friends said, there is a huge Dan-shaped hole.

Part of Dan's legacy is speaking openly about mental health challenges. About coming together, supporting each other, talking without fear of being judged.

Please don't let your mental health be the elephant in the room! Talk about it. Take the first step. You are not alone. ❤️

A couple of days after Dan's passing, I wrote this short piece which I read at his funeral. It expresses what was in my heart. I think it speaks for many of us. ❤️

Dan,

if you could feel just a fraction of the love here today, would we be here?
If you could have seen yourself like all who knew you, and loved you ..
If you could have held on just a little bit longer..

Maybe we could have done more. Maybe we missed some signs. Maybe we should have been stronger, taken charge...

Would you live another day or more?

So many questions.
Oh Dan .. there is already a huge void where you should be.

Your strong arms and loving hugs will be missed.
Your Dan humour will be missed.
Your listening ears and presence will be missed.

You are missed.

If only you were here.

Now forever young and strong, you're free to fly high, go as fast as you want
Be safe.

We love you Dan. ❤️

I can't quite believe that I'm sharing this, but we have a new reality in our family. My beautiful brother Dan passed away unexpectedly on Friday morning. We are all heartbroken 💔 But he's free and no longer in pain. We all love you Dan ❤️

Do you ever put your own needs on your to do list? A walk, a dance class, or just a 30 minute break from everything else?

Its not easy, I know! But vital. For ourselves and those we're taking care of.

As a solo Mum, taking a walk on my own feels like a decadent luxury!

But it does me so much good, I have more energy, patience and generally feel in a much better place when I get home.

Theres always going to be an endless list. So, make YOURSELF that important task that can't wait, add yourself to the list.

And schedule it, commit to it.

It's possibly the most important thing you can do today. And eveyday, do something for you.

Go on, you can make just 30 minutes for that coffee in the sun. And just breathe ❤️

International Donor Conception Day/week. 🌟

I’m reflecting on the journey that made me a mum 💛

Donor conception helped me make my dream of motherhood a reality. It can be a complex path, and at times challenging. But it’s also a beautiful and meaningful option for so many when the traditional route isn’t possible.

Six years into being Freya’s Mum, here’s what I know for sure - there is no such thing as a “perfect” family or perfect circumstances to bring a child into the world. What matters most is love, honesty, and connection.

Being open with my daughter about her beginnings is vital for her sense of self and wellbeing, now and in the future.

As I shared in my TEDx talk, “The road less travelled to motherhood,” parenthood goes way beyond genetics.

To anyone on this path, or considering it, know that you are not alone. ♥️

You can view my Tedx Talk in link in bio or on my website.

Not thriving… just surviving right now.

The past few months have been a lot. I have not posted here for a long time, but I have not disappeared. In fact, I'm learning that I have felt so overwhelmed with life, that Ive been quite stuck. Not staying connected to what's important to me.

Being unwell, Freya being unwell, me unwell again, starting a new part-time job, mothering, and now supporting my Mum through a sudden health issue.

As a solo Mum, the responsibility never switches off. Lately, I've been feeling more tired and depleted than I ever have.

But I keep reminding myself - this is a phase. It will pass.

Right now, I’m trying to find small moments for myself - even taking the time to do this post. Just ten minutes in the morning to sit, breathe, and feel the sun on my face. It helps.

I’m also learning that asking for help can make all the difference. It’s hard, but it’s necessary.

If you’re in a “just surviving” phase too, you’re not alone ❤️.

Hello! It's about time for a little intro for anyone new here.

I'm Kerry White, Im a solo Mum to my 6 year old daughter Freya. We live in beautiful Co Wicklow, Ireland. Yes. its very soggy after weeks of rain (worse than usual!).

I took a non-conventional path to make my dream of motherhood a reality, and gave birth to Freya at 49. This was possible with the help of two donors, and Im forever grateful to them, and to modern science for my wonderful miracle ❤️

I now help women who are contemplating taking this unknown path to motherhood. Life often unfolds in a way that we never could have imagined, and that in often mean that dreams are crushed and abandoned.

So helping these women get the clarity that they need to move forward- towards motherhood or not - brings me meaning and purpose.

I speak very openly about my path to Freya in podcasts and media articles. Oh yes, I even gave a aTedx talk about it! Links in bio here.

I am lucky to have some great solo Mum friends and community.This is so important and helpful as we all benefit - especially our kids.

Please get in touch, I would love to hear from anyone this resonates with. ❤️

Thank you to The Irish Times and for for such a relevant and positive feature today on motherhood after 40.

I was delighted to be interviewed for this feature - I was closer to 50 than 40 - when I made my dream of motherhood a reality.

I am so delighted that this article highlights the many positives about becoming a mother later in life.

Its about time we change our perspectives on motherhood and how we think it should be!

As someone who is now the oldest mama at the school gates, I do understand how we can find it so challenging to step outside the norm when it comes to making a family.

But, if we dont feel "geriatric" after the ripe old age of 35 when it comes to becoming a mama, and the longing of motherhood is still calling, we may well have options!

There are challenges of course, but personally, the joys by far outweigh them!

You can read the article in today's Irish Times Weekend Magazine.




KerryWellbeing

This day 6 years ago ❤️

6 years of beautiful, crazy love!

Freya Joy, my pride and joy. My love.

Now can we press pause ..!