Norah Finn Therapy

HAPPY FRIDAY - I wish you a weekend ahead where you allow nothing, or nobody, to steal your inner peace. Have a great one 💜

Everything you’ve done has been the best you could do with the awareness you had at the time.

When you know better, you do better.

Forgiveness begins with yourself. Be kind to the person you once were. Have compassion for the version of you that didn’t yet know what you know today.

That person carried you through every lesson, every challenge, and every step that brought you here.

There are no mistakes. Only opportunities to grow in awareness.

Love every part of yourself, especially the parts that were still learning.

YOU deserve your compassion, not your judgment. 💜

ARE YOU LIVING IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP? Are you thinking about leaving?

Leaving an abusive relationship doesn’t always mean the abuse ends. In fact, it’s often when the perpetrator realises they’re losing control that the abuse can escalate. Children. Money. The family home. Extended family. The legal system. These can all become tools of control.

If you’re thinking about leaving your family home, don’t make that decision without getting legal advice first - unless you or your children are in immediate danger. If your safety is at risk, get to a safe place immediately.

Remember: it’s your home too. There may be legal options that allow you and your children to remain in the home while the perpetrator is required to leave.

If you’ve been gaslighted for months or years, you may be questioning yourself. You might be wondering if you’re overreacting, imagining things, or whether “it’s really that bad.” That’s what gaslighting does. Please don’t keep it all to yourself.

Talk to someone you trust. Reach out to a domestic abuse support service, a counsellor, or a solicitor, anyone who understands coercive control and domestic abuse.

Hearing your story reflected back by someone outside the relationship can help you see what has become normalised. You don’t have to figure this out alone.

Start building your support network today. Start educating yourself about abusive dynamics. Start rebuilding your confidence.

Knowledge is power. And every step you take towards understanding what’s happening is a step towards reclaiming your freedom.

You deserve to feel safe. You deserve to be heard. You deserve a life free from abuse. 💜

If you or your children are in immediate danger, call the emergency services in your area straight away.

DENIAL IS OFTEN MISUNDERSTOOD as weakness or avoidance, but after a traumatic event, it can be the mind’s way of protecting us from emotions that feel too overwhelming to process all at once.

While denial may help us survive in the short term, staying there for too long can delay healing.

Unprocessed trauma can show up as relationship struggles, anxiety, depression, addiction, emotional numbness, sleep problems, and physical symptoms.

Healing doesn’t always mean forgetting what happened. It means gradually acknowledging the experience, processing the emotions, and giving yourself the opportunity to move forward with support and self-compassion.

There is no timeline for recovery, and everyone’s journey is different.

Reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness - it is a step toward healing.

CAN YOU HANDLE WHATEVER DRAMA IS THROWN AT YOU TODAY?
We all have those days where we’re exhausted and wondering how on earth we’re supposed to keep going.

What gets you back on track?

Me? I remind myself that I grew two humans from scratch, delivered with no pain relief, and then functioned on 20 years of sleep deprivation.

When I remind myself that I did that ..... a difficult day doesn’t stand much of a chance.

Turns out, I’m pretty tough. On the days I fail to remember that, I get a bit lazy and allow myself believe that I can’t do it.

Then, thankfully, I remember who I am, and the game changes!

So yes... I can absolutely deal with whatever drama that today decides to throw at me.

What gets you back on track? 💜

When caring for others comes at the cost of caring for yourself, it may be time to pause and reflect.

Codependency often develops as a way of coping. It can look like:
• Feeling responsible for other people’s emotions or choices.
• Struggling to say “no” without guilt.
• Seeking your worth through being needed.
• Neglecting your own needs to keep the peace.
• Feeling anxious when relationships feel uncertain.

Healing isn’t about caring less - it’s about learning to care for yourself as much as you care for others.

Counselling provides a safe, supportive space to explore relationship patterns, strengthen boundaries, and reconnect with your own needs and values.

Small, consistent changes can lead to healthier, more balanced relationships.

You deserve relationships where support flows both ways. 💜

HAVE YOU DEVELOPED EMOTIONAL MUSCLE?
Can you accept another’s “no”?

Have you ever met someone who seems to believe the world owes them something? Maybe it’s the coworker who expects constant praise, the friend who always takes but rarely gives, or the driver who cuts the line because they think their time matters more than everyone else’s.

Entitlement isn’t just arrogance - it’s a psychological mindset.

It frustrates us because it violates the unwritten social contract that makes everyday life work. We wait our turn, share credit, and practice reciprocity because fairness allows people to coexist. Entitlement sends a different message: my needs matter more than yours.

Interestingly, entitlement often overlaps with narcissistic traits, including difficulty empathizing with others. But beneath the surface, it is frequently more fragile than it appears. The constant need for recognition, exceptions, or special treatment often reflects an unstable sense of self that depends on the world’s approval.

Developing emotional muscle is a part of maturity. One of the clearest signs of emotional maturity is learning to tolerate the discomfort of hearing “no” without expecting the world to change its answer to “yes.” Psychological resilience isn’t getting everything we want - it’s accepting that disappointment is part of life and that other people’s needs matter just as much as our own.

The less we expect the world to revolve around us, the more capable we become of building healthy, reciprocal relationships.

Therapy supports us on our journey towards emotional maturity. It helps us lead a balanced life with healthy relationships.

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF BLAME 💜
The reason why people usually blame others is that it’s a quick escape from guilt. Blame is an incredibly easy and effortless tactic to use when we feel defensive. If we don’t hold ourself accountable for the consequences of our own behaviors, thoughts, and feelings, we get to continue living life thinking that we don’t have any flaws or areas that need improvement. It is moral superiority and grandiose. It is not a mentally healthy place to live from. In Glasserian psychology Dr Glasser lists it as one of the 7 disconnecting habits, and it’s clear to see why he taught us as Choice Theory people to omit it from our psychology.

Blame is often used by those of us who have a desire or need to be right. There is no personal accountability. Holding ourselves accountable for our how we behave puts us in a vulnerable position, it can be difficult to do. We owe it to ourselves and others to expose and feel our vulnerability. That is transparency. No one likes those uncomfortable feelings, but the alternative is that instead of facing them, we find comfort by looking outside of ourselves.

Blaming someone else for our problems is called deflection. It’s a defense mechanism intended to preserve our self-esteem by painting ourself as the victim of circumstance rather than accepting responsibility for our own mistakes and our own behavior. We will seek and find others to keep us in this place of unawareness and in doing so create unhealthy and toxic environments for self and others.

A lack of transparency, accountability, and self responsibility can be a coping mechanism that stands in the way of becoming a healthier and better adjusted person. A constant inability to accept personal responsibility can be an alarming trait and can sometimes be an indicator of an undiagnosed mental health disorder.

Therapy supports us in the process of living a happy and empowered life of awareness, personal responsibility, and transparency. That’s where our real power sits. Do we have the courage to face what we run from? It takes courage to heal. Let’s leave no stone unturned. 💜