17/07/2026
๐๐ง๐๐๐ซ ๐๐๐ฌ ๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐๐ฉ๐จ๐ซ๐ญ: ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐๐๐๐
๐, ๐๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ข๐ ๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐๐ซ๐ข๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐๐ญ๐ก๐๐ซ ๐๐๐ฏ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ฎ๐ซ๐๐ฌ!
Grab a brew and settle in as James Dakin has written an awesome report recapping last weekendโs activities! Thank you James ๐
They came from far and wide at the beck and call of their coaches. A weekend rugby tour to the South Cumbrian coast beckoned with the promise of rugby league, a water park, blue green algae, caravans, pizza, cricket, football, birthdays and, for the travelling parents, the occasional opportunity to sit down.
Friday afternoon saw the annual exodus begin as players, parents and dedicated supporters of the cause made their way to Haverigg Holiday Park. With somewhere north of a thousand caravans spread across an area roughly the size of Belgium, Friday evening quickly became less about rugby and more about navigation. It turned out finding your own caravan wasn't too difficult. Finding anybody else's often involved three wrong turns, two phone calls and someone inevitably saying, "We're by the house on the hill..." which narrowed it down to approximately 600 possibilities.
Saturday morning brought the short 33 mile drive to Kell. Short only in distance but thanks to the 2,765 independently verified corners between Haverigg and Kell, the journey comfortably sailed past the hour mark. Every parent deserves enormous credit for delivering both themselves and their passengers in one piece, whilst many corners provided an unexpected practical examination into the width of everyone's car and whether they really believed they could squeeze through that gap. Pleasingly, the parents of New Earswick Old Blacks passed with customary ease.
Driving into Kell itself was an experience. Like much of the West Cumbrian coast it has battled through difficult economic times but one thing has remained constant and that's rugby league. You could almost feel it in the place. The village itself appears to have been thoughtfully built on the side of a mountain with every available surface either enthusiastically uphill or equally enthusiastically downhill. That somebody had somehow discovered a piece of land approaching horizontal and decided, "We'll put a rugby pitch there," felt nothing short of miraculous. Throw in the backdrop of the southern Lake District fells and it made for one of the most picturesque grounds we'll visit this season.
Once we'd negotiated the minor inconvenience of discovering the clubhouse was located somewhere between half a mile and another postcode away from the pitch, our boys began warming up.
Simon, meanwhile, reassured everyone that we were "massive" again. To be fair, Simon thinks we're massive everywhere, so there was never any danger of us arriving short of confidence.
The game itself couldn't have started much better.
Excellent teamwork down the right hand side gave us quick ball before we moved it swiftly left across the pitch. Hands after hands found their target before Eddie found himself with enough room on the left wing to scamper over for an excellent opening try. Sam's conversion drifted just wide from the touchline but it was a cracking start and exactly the sort of rugby coaches and parents love to see. Width, support and putting the man in space rather than asking him to beat half the opposition first.
The second try was perhaps even better.
Sam made an excellent break down the right, selling a lovely dummy on the way before offloading brilliantly to the supporting Jas. Now, there are many graceful sights in nature. A kingfisher in flight. A red deer bounding across the moors. Jas running with three to four defenders hanging off him probably isn't one of them but it wis mightily effective. Carrying defenders as though they were small children enjoying a mobile climbing frame, he eventually crashed over for a superb try. Sam converted and suddenly we were 10-0 ahead.
The pleasing thing wasn't just the score. It was our support play and running lines. Looking for teammates, trusting teammates by passing to them and putting each other into space, more evidence that we are developing and improving as players all the time.
More sustained pressure followed before Sam demonstrated that being approximately the same size as an enthusiastic grasshopper has its advantages, somehow burrowing through a gap that appeared to exist only in his imagination to score. The conversion from out wide was missed.
Then came another trademark Jas finish. The ball found him in midfield, he straightened brilliantly, bounced off several defenders, ignored several more and eventually carried what appeared to be most of Kell over the try line with him.
18-0.
Unfortunately, at this point our famous All Blacks generosity kicked in as we donโt seemingly like to get too far ahead of ourselves in case anyone accuses us of being arrogant.
No sooner had we scored than we became determined to gift the opposition as much field position as humanly possible. Whether through the occasional knock on, allowing them to find touch from the restart or our continued charitable approach to line speed, whereby we politely invited Kell to enjoy running another ten or fifteen metres before interrupting them with a tackle, we repeatedly demonstrated what a generous and welcoming club we can be at times.
To be fair to Kell, they needed no second invitation and had players eager and willing to take their opportunity.
Their bigger runners began finding their rhythm and two well taken tries down our right edge reminded everyone that this game was very far from over.
One of the highlights in between came from Sam's wonderfully cheeky restart where he delicately chipped the ball over the first defender before regathering it himself. It's one of those moments that leaves half the crowd applauding and the other half wondering whether he's actually allowed to do that.
One enduring image from the first half, however, belonged entirely to Elliott.
Now, Elliott had clearly decided that running around an opponent was unnecessarily complicated when simply going through them remained an option. Charging full tilt towards an unsuspecting bespectacled Kell player, he lowered his shoulder with every intention of steamrollering his opposite number.
What actually happened was even better. In his enthusiasm for the contact he managed to leave his legs somewhere behind him and became, for a brief but glorious moment, entirely horizontal. From the touchline it genuinely looked as though someone had launched an Exocet missile across the pitch aimed directly at the chest of said member of the opposition. The unfortunate Kell player disappeared instantly underneath him and both eventually emerged from the collision wondering what on earth had just happened.
This move shall henceforth be known as The Elliott Exocet and may only be deployed in extreme circumstances.
Meanwhile, Kell continued to come back strongly.
Stretching us well with quick passing and powerful runners, they eventually crossed in the corner after moving us from one side of the field to the other. It was another reminder that line speed remains something we occasionally choose to view as an optional extra rather than a necessity, in spite of the gentle encouragement of our head coach form the sidelines!
Half time arrived with us leading 18-14 after a thoroughly entertaining opening first half.
The second half, however, belonged largely to Kell.
Whilst we twice managed to ignore teammates standing in enough open space to build affordable housing developments right their try line, Kell repeatedly demonstrated exactly what happens when you pass quickly, pass flat and trust the player outside you.
They moved us from touchline to touchline brilliantly before putting players into space. Their large number 11 cut back through a gap for one excellent try before another heads up passage of play saw them identify space in the middle and run straight through under the posts.
Suddenly we found ourselves behind at 30-18.
Credit to our lads though, they never stopped. Gethin produced the kind of tackle he has no right to pull off against a much larger player who looked for all the world like he was about to score a certain try in the corner, knocking him into touch. A truly awesome tackle of elegantly controlled violence clearly picked up from watching his mother keep his father in check!
Lucas repeatedly threw himself at some enormous runners with absolutely no regard whatsoever for his own wellbeing, repeatedly halting strong and powerful runners enabling other team mates to join in. At times our defence was truly a thing to behold and was enough to frustrate the strongest of running teams, another area of demonstrable improvement over the years.
Evan tackled virtually everything that moved within his general postcode whilst increasingly showing what he can do with ball in hand as well. His running is developing every game it seems.
Marcus produced perhaps the tackle of the afternoon. Chasing a huge kick, he found himself one on one with Kell's powerful fullback who looked considerably larger and presumably fancied his chances of running straight through Marcus. Marcus apparently had other ideas though and, timing it perfectly, he absolutely flattened him, bounced straight back to his feet and promptly tackled the very next runner as well. Now we know what he can do!!
Oliver continued his now well established hobby of running through and occasionally over as many members of the opposition as he could locate. Few players leave such a lasting impression on both the game and several of the opposition defenders.
Eventually we picked ourselves back up and an improved passage of play saw Lewis pick up a loose ball around halfway and made excellent ground through the middle, setting up another attacking opportunity before Sam eventually burrowed over once more. This time the conversion sailed through. 24-30.
The team finally decided the final few minutes should be played almost entirely in Kell's half, producing one determined charge after another and winning a couple of penalties for high tackles along the way. We pushed and pushed with one final attack very nearly released Jas into enough open space to require a map before unfortunately ending with a knock on and Kell held out.
Congratulations to them. They played some excellent rugby, trusted each other with the ball and fully deserved the win.
For us there were lessons too. When we move the ball quickly and support each other we are becoming a very good rugby side. Defensively, when our line speed is good and we go hunting together, we can be outstanding. Unfortunately, we occasionally insist on being remarkably generous opponents by inviting teams to make another ten metres before introducing ourselves. Coaches everywhere continue to find this endlessly fascinating!
Of course, rugby was only part of the weekend.
Saturday afternoon saw the squad descend upon the water park where they immediately identified a giant inflatable bouncing dome. Most people would have bounced up and down for a while but our lads.
Within minutes they had collectively decided that the obvious objective was to determine whether, by synchronising their jumps, they could launch one unfortunate teammate into low Earth orbit. The experiment showed genuine promise and displayed perhaps the finest example of teamwork all weekend until proceedings were brought to an abrupt halt by an extremely safety conscious attendant who glided purposefully towards them on a paddleboard before explaining that establishing Britain's next space programme wasn't actually included in the admission price.
Saturday evening saw the team collectively eat the Ski Bar out of pizza with remarkable efficiency before celebrating Laura's 40th birthday with a magnificent cake and, quite genuinely, one of the worst renditions of Happy Birthday ever performed by human beings. It was so wonderfully dreadful that we felt compelled to sing it twice just to ensure the full experience was enjoyed.
The celebrations then moved to the local cricket club where New Earswick All Blacks did their level best to improve the club's mid-season bar finances whilst joining the locals in watching England's quarter final. Like most England matches it went on significantly longer than seemed entirely necessary but thankfully ended with smiles rather than tears.
As always, weekends like this don't happen by accident.
They happen because coaches give up their time, parents drive hundreds of miles, supporters come along simply because they enjoy being part of it all and somebody, somewhere, somehow manages to organise the whole thing without losing either their sanity or a child.
It was another brilliant tour. The rugby was competitive, the boys represented the club superbly, friendships grew stronger, nobody quite made it into orbit and, despite 2,765 independently verified corners, everyone eventually found their way home.
I'm already looking forward to next year's adventure.
