The Holistic Personal Stylist

I’m calling myself out a bit with this one today.

When I first started posting style content on Instagram, I definitely dipped into the odd “just wear what you want” or post because it does sound empowering, right? And ultimately it’s the end goal I want all people to reach!

But in my actual coaching, across nearly a decade and several different areas —I’ve never said that to a single client!

Because I know that when you’re in that messy middle between where you are in life and where you want to be or who you are now and who you want to be, “just do it” advice is never the thing that creates real change. So it’s not helpful!

In any kind of growth whether that be in style, identity, confidence, life there’s always a time when there’s a gap.

And there might be the odd unicorn who closes that insanely quickly BUT for most women they
cannot jump that gap in one massive leap.

Because when you try to go straight from A → Z: your identity hasn’t caught up, so often confidence wobbles, old patterns kick in,and you either burn out or slip into your default setting.

So even though “just wear what you want” is a great destination,
IMO it’s for most people a terrible starting point!

The real work(and the part I coach on) is the stuff in the middle:

tiny experiments,
small expansions,
Practicing being a different version of yourself and at the same time,letting your confidence build alongside the version of you you’re becoming.

Because repetition and consistency of small aligned actions over time actually stick and get you where you want to be.

Anyway,just a little self-callout and a reminder that if you’ve struggled with “just wear what you want” and thought maybe you were in any way failing because you didn’t seem to be able to do just that and feel good about it, it’s not you. It’s the advice!

I swear if I see one more fashion or style post that reads “18 must have’s for...” I think I might throw my phone out the window!

Ok I’m being dramatic but women come to me feeling frustrated, lost and overwhelmed because they feel confused by what they should or shouldn’t be doing.

All they want to do is connect to a way of dressing that helps them feel like themselves, but it feels confusing, complicated and expensive!

Because of course we have been brainwashed into believing that the answer to most of our problems is buying more.That the answer to dressing more like ourselves and connecting to our unique style is to scroll and try to find ourselves on Net-a-Porter, or click all the LTK links or go and buy the entire charity shop — basically go and buy, buy, buy.

But actually I push back against all of that.

I would argue the worst thing you can do when unsure of yourself (which we often are in transition seasons) and your style direction, is to add more random itemz into the mix.

And the best thing you can actually do is to develop a clear understanding of how you’re currently using your wardrobe and clothes, and start analysing what and why things either work or don’t work.

This is where I start with anyone I work with. Because the truth is we often don’t need a complete wardrobe overhaul to be able to put outfits together that feel more reflective of who we are now.

We need to learn how to use our clothes and wardrobe differently and understand what makes an outfit feel like us, so we can repeat and tweak that recipe over and over with slightly different visual results.

Style isn’t just about clothes. It requires an understanding of who you are, and then the skill to translate that into outfits.

So if you are someone who wants to dress more like herself but wants to do that without buying a s**t load more clothes (I’m not anti shopping, I’m anti adding random things to your wardrobe that don’t work with your style!) then we need to be friends.🫶

Follow me would love to have you in this community❤️

Making things feel more pulled together (aka styled) and like you doesn’t need to be complicated or involve loads of layers! (even, I take a day off every now and again!)

Just 3 items shoes, hat and pearls) did some heavy lifting in this outfit and took it from “ this is fine but flat” to giving me the f*ck yeah I’m always looking for!

Share and save this for later.

Ps:Who remembers this tune from back in the day?!

In my blend-in style era, I would have edited every single one of these before I left the house.

The thought of being the pop of pink in a sea of beige and black made me feel “ickley” uncomfortable.

And …

what was the ACTUAL point in putting in so much effort for not really doing anything much other than daily lifeing!

But a few things changed for me…

Turns out the outfits I once thought were “too different” are the ones that feel most like me. So not wearing them was telling myself it wasn’t okay to be me.

I woke up to the reality that living my life (even the mundane bits) is enough of a reason to wear something I love that makes me feel good. Hello, I am the occasion so why would I not!!

I have no interest in fading into the background as I get older, so my quest to be individual will continue forever more.

I hope you’ll join me! HANG ON REFRAME… WILL YOU JOIN ME?