Dufflyn Lammers Relationship & Recovery Coaching

Can I get a hell yeah from all the Leos out there?

I spent years believing I was attracted to the wrong people.

I wasn’t.

I was attracted to what my nervous system recognized.

For a long time, I wanted to be chosen by people who seemed to choose only themselves— as if I had something to prove.

I also mistook their freedom for confidence. They broke rules I was afraid to break. I thought if I loved someone fearless, maybe I’d become fearless too.

But underneath both of those stories was a deeper one.

My nervous system had learned that the source of fear was also the source of love.

Once I understood that, I stopped asking,
“Why do I keep falling for people like this?”

And started asking,
“What taught my body this was love?”

That question changed everything.

If you’ve ever found yourself repeating relationship patterns you couldn’t explain, you’re in the right place.

I write about the intersection of attachment, love, memoir, and becoming the person you were always meant to be.

💕 Follow along for more truth not tips 🙌🏻

I thought publishing a memoir would teach me about writing.

Instead, it taught me things I wish I’d known about love, success, identity, and becoming more myself.

Some of the hardest lessons had nothing to do with publishing.

They were about learning to tolerate being seen.
About letting go of things I loved instead of trying to control them.
About remembering that other people’s opinions are rarely about me, even when they feel deeply personal.
And about discovering that getting what you want doesn’t magically make life easier. It just asks a different version of you to show up.

there were lots of things I considered taking out, both of the book and of this post.

But then I realized that’s the whole point.

If you’re interested in the messy intersection of relationships, creativity, reinvention, and what it really takes to become the person you were always meant to be, I think you’ll feel at home here.

I’m sharing the rest over the next few posts.

Follow along if that sounds like your kind of conversation.

What’s one lesson life taught you that had nothing to do with the thing you thought you were learning?

Something I am always looking forward to.

It is the space to meet, be together and be inspired by stories we share while remaining deeply human.

On Tuesday, 21st July, I am the spotlight speaker at City Ladies Networking breakfast

I will be talking about reconciling, feminism, and intimacy!

And of course there’ll be plenty of time to meet inspiring women from our international community over coffee and breakfast.

📍 Tuesday, 21st July
🕘 9:00–10:30 AM
📍 Canopy by Hilton Paris Eiffel Tower

I’d love to see you there.

Every year I get a little bouquet of Muget flowers from my Frenchie. ❤️ Below is an excerpt about the first one from my forthcoming book YOU HAD ME AT BONJOUR, A Memoir Of Romance And Reinvention - forthcoming from () on June 4th, 2026!

On the first of May, Benjamin brought me a small muguet plant in a clay pot with tiny bell-shaped flowers.

“It’s tradition,” he said.

I put it on the table next to my computer.
“It’s nice,” I told him. “I can smell it while I’m sitting here working. It smells good.”

“Better than my farts,” he said.

“Much, much better than your farts.” I smiled, and my belly relaxed as I began typing away on my keyboard.

I am not without a sense of humor, but I am not the one who looks for the joke in everything, either. Having someone around who does feels good most of the time. I hadn’t realized Benjamin was funny until one day when we were invited to a dinner party with some of his French friends. I didn’t understand what was being said, but at a certain point, I looked around the table and realized he was making them all laugh. And even though I didn’t get the jokes, this made me happy.

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Attachment Games is my new in person workshop that combines attachment theory, Ta**ra, theater games, meditation, and coaching to help others move towards earned security.

I’m so excited to be presenting it at the global exchange conference in Las Vegas in December.