Soma Scape

I may be sounding like a broken record when I say it’s important to discover your unconscious mind, but this quote from Jung perfectly illustrates why!

When we don’t understand the ‘why’ behind things happening we can’t change the ‘how’ either. To give a personal example, I grew up in a ✨highly structured✨ environment with set rules and expectations, and sometimes chaotic emotional reactions when they’re not met. This impacted me in two ways:

1. An internalised distate for order and structure
2. An overwhelming feeling of anxiety when I break the structure

Now these two contradictory core beliefs were in interplay for the majority of my adult life, resulting in an erratic work schedule made up of times of crazy boosts followed by utter detachment from my work.

This is because when I worked (i.e. were in ‘order’) I put all of the high expectations from my childhood environment onto myself in the present day, so if I didn’t work perfectly I couldn’t work. Because “if you break structure something bad will happen” was the core belief.

After putting myself through this high pressure and orderly time frame, I would react in the complete opposite way, needing a lot of chaos, spontaneity, and utter lack of order to not feel claustrophobic with my daily life. And this side was the result of the belief that “structure is always pressure, externally imposed and suffocating”.

It took me years to understand and work on this internal dynamic and I’d be lying if I said I’m by any means free from falling into the same pattern, I absolutely do. BUT, I understand what’s happening, I try to accommodate to myself, I don’t get sucked in catastrophic or negative self-talk as I would (e.g. “You’ll never learn to be consistent and will fail in your life.”) and all in all I don’t find myself in a pit of confusion and misery everytime I’m triggered in this way.

I’ve said it once I’ll say it again, WORK WITH YOUR UNCONSCIOUS! Do shadow work, understand your cycles and so evolve them - your past is not your fate.

After taking a little hiatus off of social media, it’s about time I got back into engaging on this platform. Right now days seem to blend together so a week long break became a month long one in the blink of an eye. I’m still learning to be consistent - in my work, in my life and my relationships - and it’s sometimes tricky to channel enough willpower to stay present on social media of all places.

I recently became very frustrated with having to condense what to me is an important message into the span of a three second glance of an image and caption, so authentic content hasn’t come naturally. Today, I felt like communicating my struggle as it’s my truth in how I relate to my work at the moment.

If some of you out there also have to rely on social media for their career for whatever reason, and are struggling to integrate this into their daily life - do you have any tips for staying motivated and authentic? Share your experience in the comments so we all figure this out together 💪

◭ Something that I’ve been doing during the pandemic days that has never failed to lift my mood is dancing. Being shy and slightly awkward when dancing in public, I had a nervous association with it until I started to focus on the sensation of dancing in my body rather than how it looks from the outside. Swaying, jumping around, shaking off the stress in my limbs all make me feel in my body, present and energised.

◭ Dancing is a form of somatic expression, albeit a bit clumsy for me, and sometimes reframing it as such can help you incorporate it into your day. If you’re low, not in the mood to move or workout but you know that if you did you’d feel much better, I genuinely suggest you give dancing a shot. The vulnerability in the act nourishes your inner child and bringing your attention to the sensations in your body is a form of mindfulness - so go ahead and give it a shot as movement meditation.

♥️ Mindful activities for Valentine’s Day to be tender with yourself today

🌙 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞: Apart from taking a nice walk outdoors (which might not be accessible to everyone atm), there are many other ways to feel more connected with nature at the comfort of your home. You can brew yourself a cuppa, draw a bath with salts and herbs (rosemary, lavender and rose are great options), align with the moon cycle (the crescent moon is a time of initiation, for example) to visualise and plan - as long as you have intention behind it the act itself could be anything that you enjoy.

💚 𝐀𝐧𝐚𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐚 (𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭) 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐤𝐫𝐚 𝐌𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: Begin by sitting or lying in a comfortable position where you won’t be disturbed. Let your eyes close and after checking in with your surroundings and body, tune in with your breath as you begin deepening it. Using visualisation to imagine an orb of bright light emitting from the centre of your chest, bring your focus on the warmth of this energy spreading through and surrounding you. You may mentally extend this energy to your loved ones, bringing love and gratitude into your mindspace.

🌸 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐌𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭: Somatic or bodily expression is a powerful tool to embody emotions you want to bring into your day today. Be it yoga, dancing, stretching or free movement, put on some tunes and let yourself move freely!

📝 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐉𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠: Give yourself a prompt that you resonate with - could be as specific or general as you like - and get creative. Incorporate text, drawings, collage elements, or basically anything you feel drawn to and create a spread in your journal that expresses your inner world.

❣️ 𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞’𝐬 𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞.

❤️

➳ Here are the most common reasons you might be having an ‘existential crisis’ and what to do about it.

» First things first, what exactly is an existential crisis?
· This terms is commonly used to refer to an all-encompassing state of questioning your life’s meaning and the anxiety associated with it. Existentialism defines this as the moment where you become aware that you must define your own life through your choices - though liberating this is also undeniably difficult.

» Why do we get an existential crisis anyway?
· Existential dread can be brought on by many factors including major changes, loss, trauma or even positive events such as having children. However, we don’t necessarily have had to experience anything out of the ordinary for an onset, sometimes this feeling builds when we haven’t contemplated our values, direction in life and what ‘authentic living’ means to us.

» What should you do if you’re facing one now?
· The first step is to understand what might have brought it on. The fact that you are having an existential crisis might be your mind’s way of showing you that you need to make choices in life more consciously and in a way that gives you meaning.
· Write, write and write! Since the experience itself is abstract and bleak, writing your thoughts down helps you process them significantly better.
· Meditate or engage in shadow work. If you don’t understand yourself, you can’t accommodate to yourself either. Get to know the parts of you that you might be neglecting, sometimes they act up you know…
· The only way out is through. Say it again, louder for those in the back. This is ultimately a drive to build a more satisfying life for yourself. So stop trying to avoid it but delve in it - there are no right or wrong answers, just exploration.

📚

◭ Existential coaching is an approach based on existential philosophy and therapy which aims to get people to ask the ‘big questions in life’ and help figure out answers in relation to their particular goals.

◭ It’s a 1:1, confidential client-coach relationship that usually lasts for a defined period of time (4-6 sessions on average).

◭ Sessions revolve around discussion and self-exploration with the purpose of bringing value-oriented actions into the client’s life. While the subject matter is abstract, the coaching relationship is goal-oriented and pragmatic.

◭ DM me or visit my website to submit any enquiries about existential coaching - or to book a free consultation session if this sounds like something you might benefit from. ❈

On a bit of a personal note - here are the most important things I learned from 7 whole years in therapy 📓

Recently, I became aware of the fact that I had been going to therapy for SEVEN YEARS. 😳 Now that this part of my life is coming to a closure, I’m processing a lot about the journey and what I learned about myself. I wanted to share some of these musings with you in case someone reading might have started, has been going or contemplating going to therapy. Please do comment or DM any questions you might have about the therapy process no matter how personal - let’s talk about it. 💬

And without further ado, my top lessons learned from seven loooong years in therapy:

· Progress takes time and patience, probably more so than you might anticipate.

· Diagnoses might help you make sense of what you’re going through in the beginning and so help, but it’s also important to not be ‘boxed into’ a label and learn how to transcend it with your personality. DO NOT self-diagnose, even if you’re knowledgeable about mental health you likely lack the objectivity to accurately make judgments about yourself.

· You’ll learn many ways in which others’ actions have influenced how you perceive and act in the world. This is useful in healing wounds inflicted by others, but change comes with accountability - sooner or later you’ll have to deal with what you brought to the table.

· You will change and grow in unprecedented ways and there will be times when that’s difficult. It’ll be rewarding in ways that you couldn’t have imagined and is all worth it!