Betsabe kia, MAcS MSP

When you live with a narcissistic partner, children can start copying what they see at home, because they are learning how power works in that house.

10 Signs Your Kids Are Copying Your Partner's Narcissistic Behaviour

1. They talk to you with the same sharp tone your partner uses, rolling their eyes, sighing or speaking with quiet contempt when they do not get their way.

2. They blame other people very quickly for their own mistakes, saying everything is someone else's fault instead of taking even a small bit of responsibility.

3. They struggle to show care when you are tired, upset or unwell, brushing it off because they are copying a home where weakness gets dismissed.

4. They become very focused on "winning" small moments, needing to be right, have the last word or come out on top even in simple family conversations.

5. They use private information as a weapon, bringing up something personal you told them when they are angry because they have seen that modelled.

6. They act one way with your partner and a completely different way with you, learning to charm, manipulate or switch sides depending on who has the power in the room.

7. They mock their siblings or other children instead of showing patience, because they are absorbing the put downs, sarcasm and lack of empathy they hear at home.

8. They seem more interested in appearances than honesty, caring a lot about how things look to others while ignoring how their words land on people.

9. They punish closeness by going cold after being corrected, acting offended or withdrawing affection because they have learned that connection can be used as control.

10. They repeat adult stories or accusations that clearly did not come from them, showing they are being fed a version of events and slowly trained to carry it.

Comment “CYCLE” if you believe unhealthy generational patterns can be recognised, interrupted and changed.

Overall, I want you as a parent to leave the post feeling educated and empowered, not frightened that their children are becoming like their partner.

5 Things That negatively effects a Narcissist

1.Being Ignored
They need attention like oxygen. The moment you stop reacting, they lose their grip on you.
Example: You don't reply to their texts, don't argue back, don't even acknowledge their existence. They spiral because they're no longer in control.
How to Use It: Silence is your power. When you refuse to engage, they panic.

2.Watching You Move On
They expect you to be stuck, heartbroken, waiting for them to return. Seeing you happy without them is unbearable.
Example: You start thriving-new hobbies, new confidence, even a new relationship. They suddenly want to "check in." How to Use It: Don't give them the satisfaction of seeing your pain. Move on in silence.

3.Being Held Accountable
They hate when their own words and actions are used against them.
Example: You calmly say, "But last week you said..." and they explode, change the subject, or play the victim.
How to Use It: Stay firm. Let their contradictions speak for themselves.

4.Losing Control Over You
They love pulling your strings, but when you stop reacting the way they expect, they feel powerless.
Example: They try to provoke you, but instead of getting upset, you stay calm and unbothered.
How to Use It: The less you react, the more frustrated they become.

5.Seeing You Become Who They Tried to Break
They didn't think you'd heal. They didn't think you'd find happiness beyond them.
Example: You start living your best life, completely indifferent to their existence. They can't stand it.
How to Use It: Your best revenge? Thriving.

My Final Thought:
People often ask me how to beat a narcissist.

My answer is always the same.

You don’t win by changing them.

You win by changing the subconscious patterns that kept you emotionally attached to someone who couldn’t give you the love you deserved.

As your inner world changes, your outer world begins to change too.

That is where your freedom begins.

If this helped, comment "Heal" and share an experience where a narcissist was affected because you ignored them.

Empaths often see the good in people for far too long.

And narcissists know exactly how to use kindness, patience and emotional depth against them.

1.They mirror your personality
Example: They seem to like all the same things, share the same values and understand you "better than anyone ever has."
Healing insight: Many narcissists create fast emotional
closeness by reflecting your personality back at you.

2.They make you feel uniquely chosen
Example: They tell you nobody has ever understood them like you do and make the connection feel rare and intense.
Healing insight: Emotional intensity can feel like deep love
when it is actually emotional dependency being created.

3.They slowly turn your empathy against you
Example: Every time they hurt you, the focus shifts back onto their trauma, stress or difficult past.
Healing insight: Empaths often stay because they understand the pain behind the behaviour, not because the behaviour is acceptable.

4.They create confusion through mixed behaviour
Example: One day they are loving and attentive, the next cold, distant or cruel.
Healing insight: Inconsistent affection creates emotional addiction because you keep chasing the return of the "good version" of them.

5.They make you believe giving up on them makes you a bad person
Example: You start feeling guilty for wanting peace, boundaries or distance from the relationship.
Healing insight: Healthy love should not require you to abandon yourself to keep someone else comfortable.

My Final Thought

The goal isn’t to get better at spotting narcissists.

It’s to become so deeply connected to your own worth that your subconscious no longer mistakes inconsistency for love, chaos for passion, or self-sacrifice for kindness.

As you do the inner work, your subconscious begins to change. Your energy shifts, old wounds lose their grip, your boundaries grow stronger, and you stop abandoning yourself to keep others comfortable.

They may not change—but you do. And when you change, the relationships you choose, the boundaries you set, and the life you create begin to change too.
That’s where true freedom begins.

Comment “STRONGER” and I’ll send you my PIE Method—a recovery framework I developed to help you interrupt emotional patterns, quiet the voice they left in your mind, and rebuild your sense of self from the inside out.

A Narcissist who struggles to express love at home, but shows up for everyone else.. was once a child who:

* Learned love through performance, not safety
* Felt valued only when being useful or impressive
* Was praised publicly but unseen emotionally
* Learned to suppress needs to avoid conflict
* Confused responsibility with affection
* Became hyper-aware of others' expectations
* Learned that rest and softness were not allowed
* Developed survival skills instead of emotional language

What looks like distance now
often began as protection then.

Inner child healing reminds us:
Emotional unavailability is not always lack of love-sometimes it's unhealed conditioning.

Healing starts when the inner child feels safe enough to stop performing and start connecting.

Awareness doesn't excuse harm,
but it explains the wound-and shows where healing must begin.

If you found this relatable, comment "I Agree" and let us know the situations when your partner treated you differently from others.

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One thing a narcissist will often do in an argument is ask this:

"Okay, give me one example of when I did that."

And suddenly your mind goes blank.

You know the pattern.

You know how it felt.

You know it has happened before.

Yet in that moment you can't pull up one clear example on demand.

That doesn't mean you're lying.

It doesn't mean you imagined it.

It also doesn't mean it did not happen.

This is a tactic designed to take power away from you.

They drag you into a courtroom you never agreed to enter.

They demand perfect details while you're already emotionally activated. Your nervous system is in fight or flight mode.

When that happens the part of your brain that retrieves memories does not work in the same way.

They know this, of course.

By forcing you to produce one perfect example, they shift the focus away from the pattern and onto you. The second you hesitate, they use it as proof that you're just exaggerating, being dramatic or unstable.

The harm isn't in the question.

The harm is in their putting you on the spot.

You are pressured to provide evidence while you're overwhelmed, worn down and already doubting yourself from their constant denial and invalidation.

That's why later, when you're calm, the examples come flooding back, when your mind finally feels safe enough to access them.

If you struggle to recall details in the heat of an argument with someone who constantly denies your reality, to not see this as a flaw in you. This is good information because it shines a light on how unsafe the dynamic between you and them really is.

Comment 'empathy' if you've face this situation and how did the situation make you feel?

If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with me.

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In many cases this affects women most deeply, especially mothers who sacrificed careers, independence, time, and opportunities to raise children and hold a family together.

But this can absolutely happen to men too.

Financial abuse is not about gender.
It is about power, control, dependency, and making someone feel trapped.

1.Being made to ask permission for basic things.
Healthy relationships should never make you feel like a burden for existing.

2.Sacrificing your independence for the family, then feeling terrified about surviving alone after the relationship ends.
Supporting a family is still work, even when unpaid.

3.Money being used as power.
Love should never feel like ransom.

4.Feeling punished after the breakup while one person rebuilds from nothing and the other carries on comfortably.
A healthy relationship should never leave someone disposable.

5.Being given "allowances" instead of equal access to shared finances.
Control is not care.

6.Having your spending constantly questioned while your partner spends freely.
Financial double standards slowly destroy confidence.

7.Being discouraged from working, studying, or building independence.
Real love does not fear your freedom.

8.Feeling trapped because you stayed home to raise children and now have no safety net.
Parenting is contribution, not dependency.

9.Being made to feel grateful for the bare minimum while carrying responsibilities nobody fully sees.
You deserve dignity, stability, and respect too.

My final thought.

A healthy relationship is not built on one person having the power and the other adapting to survive.

Because It is built on equality.

And also doesn’t mean both partners earn the same income or contribute in exactly the same way. Every relationship is different.

If you found this helpful, comment "STRONGER” and follow to support me and your healing journey.

If this resonated, you are not alone here. You are welcome to share your story below and help others.

Did You Get Blamed for Everything by Your Partner?(Watch this before it’s too late)

Narcissists often blame others for the things that go wrong in their lives.

They need to look and feel perfect at all times to feel good about themselves.

So when things go wrong, even something as small as dropping a spoon, they'll often find a way to blame you so they can protect their "perfect" image.

This can really mess with your sense of responsibility.

What do I mean?

When someone is always finding a way to make things your fault, even when they're not, it conditions you to automatically blame yourself for other people's mistakes and problems.

There are a lot of ways this can show up, but one of the most common is over-apologizing.

This is when you say "sorry" unnecessarily or excessively, especially in situations where you haven't done anything wrong.

If this is something you struggle with, one of the most helpful things you can do is give yourself the time and space to determine whether something is actually your fault.

This doesn't mean staying silent until you figure it out.

It means saying something like "thank you for listening to me" instead of jumping to "sorry for talking so much."

Or "excuse me" instead of immediately apologizing for everything.

It's a lot like using salt on food.

You can always add more, but it's really hard to take it away once it's there.

You can always apologize later, but it's really hard and awkward to take an apology back once you've already said it.

So try creating a short list of responses you can use anytime you feel the urge to say sorry.

This should give you the time and space to figure out whether or not it's actually your fault.

Comment "empathy" if you're a someone healing from narcissistic or emotional abuse and this resonated deeply with your condition.

Most narcissistic partners don't look abusive.�They look like this:

1.THEY DON'T SHOUT, BUT YOU CAN FEEL SOMETHING IS OFF.

Nothing is said—but you can feel it instantly.�Short replies, no eye contact, that heavy silence that makes you anxious.

2.THEY DON'T STOP YOU FROM GOING OUT, THEY MAKE YOU REGRET IT.

You're out with friends and they keep texting, "When are you coming back?" "Who all are there?" When you get home, their tone is off, or they pick a fight over something small.

3.THEY DON'T KILL YOUR DREAMS, THEY MAKE THEM FEEL STUPID.

You tell them you want to try something new and they laugh, "Now?" or "Be practical."Next time, you don't even bring it up.

4.THEY DON'T ARGUE FACTS, THEY CHANGE THEM.

"That never happened"... "You're overthinking."Now you don't even trust your own memory.

5.THEY DON'T APOLOGISE, THEY JUST ACT NORMAL AGAIN.

No conversation, no acknowledgement—just "Hey, what's for dinner?" energy. And you're expected to move on like nothing happened.

6.THEY DON'T GIVE YOU RULES, THEY SHAPE YOUR CHOICES.

"How you talk," "what you wear," "what you eat"—all subtly judged. And slowly, you start choosing what feels "safe" around them.

7.THEY DON'T LOOK ABUSIVE, THEY LOOK PERFECT TO OTHERS.

Laughing, kind, helpful in front of people. And you sit there thinking... "If they're so good, why do I feel like this?"

They don't break you all at once; they do it slowly. In patterns, in moments, in things that are hard to explain.

Until one day, you realise it was abuse all along, and you're not the same anymore.

If you're trying to find your way out of something like this, comment "EXIT".

I will share my PIE Method—a recovery system I created that cuts their voice from your mind, rewrites the damage they left behind, and rebuilds your sense of self on your own terms.

Inside, you'll get:
To learn about the PIE Method
When to use the PIE Method
And how to use the PIE Method in your favour

Hundreds have already used this to break trauma bonds, rebuild trust, and reclaim their clarity.

PIE Method - Developed by Betsabe Kia, MAcS Au MSP | Transformational Coach & Emotional Mastery Facilitator.

You share a house.
A routine.

But not intimacy.
Not emotional closeness.
Not partnership.

There's no warmth to come home to.
No curiosity about your inner world.
No effort to repair the distance.

7 Signs You Feel Lonelier Being
Married to a Narcissist

1.You're in a marriage, but you feel single.
They're physically present, but emotionally unavailable.
It feels like loving someone who exists, but isn't truly there.

2.Every conversation turns into a performance.
Your feelings get ignored.
Their ego gets applause.
What you need never becomes the focus.

3.You stop sharing your pain.
Because it gets denied.
Twisted. Or somehow turned into your fault.

4.You walk on eggshells to avoid conflict.
You measure your words carefully, like a lawyer in court, just to prevent another emotional explosion.

5.They give you attention only when they need validation.
Not connection.
Not intimacy.
You become emotional supply, not their partner.

6.You start to forget what real love feels like.
The warmth.
The safety.
Mutual respect.
Because you've been surviving, not living.

7.The silence after their cruelty is the loudest loneliness of all.
Because you realize they'll never say,
"I'm sorry,"
and actually mean it.

If this describes your life:

•This isn't a normal distance.
•This is emotional neglect.

You deserve more than coexistence.
You deserve connection.

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