IMCG Coaching Lab

Psychologists, psychiatrists and pills?

Yesterday I shared part of my story in Hykie Berg’s community — the part about anxiety, anger, doctors, medication, a psychiatrist and eventually ending up in hospital.

And I want to say this clearly:

I am not against psychologists.
I am not against psychiatrists.

And I am not here to tell anyone what to do about medication.

Those decisions belong between you and the appropriate healthcare professional.

What I am interested in is the part that can so easily be missed:

What is happening underneath the behaviour?
Why do I react like this?
Why do I keep repeating the same patterns?
Why does everything feel overwhelming?

Why do I explode, withdraw, overthink or shut down?
What have I learned over the years that is no longer serving me?

Because taking something to help you cope and learning how to think, respond, communicate and live differently are not the same thing.

For me, the real change started when I began doing the inner work.

Looking at my patterns.
My thinking.
My reactions.
My blind spots.
My responsibility in my own life.
Unlearning some things.
And learning better ways.

That is a big why I recommend CORE.

Not to replace doctors, therapy or medication.

But to help people become more aware of what is happening inside them and develop practical ways of responding to life differently.

Because eventually we have to ask:

What can I take responsibility for changing?

And that question can be uncomfortable.
But it can also be incredibly freeing.

“And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” — John 8:32 NKJV

Will life stop you ? What is your way of living costing you ? 💬 A STORY BEHIND CORE

For a long time, I was very good at looking as though I had everything under control.

Work was getting done.

People could depend on me.

Responsibilities were carried.

Decisions were made.

From the outside, capable.

Inside, it was a very different story.

Eventually, all that pressure caught up with me and I landed in hospital.

One of the biggest lessons I took from that season was this:

You can be functioning and still be struggling.

That is why I notice the person who keeps saying:

“I’m fine.”

“I’ll deal with it.”

“Everyone is depending on me.”

“I just need to get through this week.”

Because sometimes the warning signs don’t look dramatic.

They look like irritability.

Overthinking.

Poor sleep.

Constant mental noise.

Decision fatigue.

Never quite switching off.

And slowly, carrying everything becomes normal.

That experience became part of the reason CORE exists today.

Not to create a life with no pressure.

But to help people recognise what is happening inside them sooner, think more clearly under pressure, build healthier responses and stop living permanently in reaction mode.

There is wisdom in noticing what is happening before life forces you to stop.

“Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.” — Proverbs 4:23 NKJV

Sometimes the most important question is not:

“Can I keep going?”

It is:

“What is this way of going costing me?” Follow us on Skool

WHAT IS YOUR IDENTITY ROOTED IN?

Anxiety is not always a sign of weakness. It can have physical, emotional and situational causes. But sometimes uncertainty exposes where we have placed our identity and security.

These sequences do not stand alone—they follow and strengthen one another:

THE HIDDEN CYCLE

Uncertainty
↓
Fear about what may happen
↓
Trying to control the outcome
↓
Defending ourselves
↓
Blame others or self-condemnation
↓
Deeper shame

When our identity becomes uncertain, we can quietly move from relationship-based living into performance-based living.

THE PERFORMANCE TRAP

I must prove my worth
↓
I cannot afford to fail
↓
Fear-based decisions
↓
Blame and self-justification
↓
Emotional exhaustion

But your worth was never meant to depend on your performance, position, success or another person’s approval.

THE WAY BACK

Secure identity in Christ
↓
Truth replaces fear
↓
Acceptance replaces control
↓
Action & Responsibility replaces blame
↓
Self-compassion replaces shame
↓
Clarity guides the next step

Take action and accountability for your life do the work

Not everything that happened to you was your fault. But you can take responsibility for what happens next.

“For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.” — Colossians 3:3 NKJV please follow us in Skool link in the bio

Self development is necessary

If you have been thinking, “I’m the leader—I should know how to handle this by now,” I want to tell you about Monica.

She was already an executive, carrying significant responsibility. Yet leadership under pressure can still leave even highly capable people questioning how to communicate, influence others and make their voice heard.

Our work did not focus on giving her a louder voice or turning her into someone she was not.

We explored real workplace situations, the science behind human interactions and what happens when conversations become stressful. She learned to listen without judgement, look beneath the surface and respond to the root of an issue rather than simply reacting to what was happening around her.

This is what she later shared:

“My sessions with Charmaine inspired me to be a dynamic leader, a strategic thinker with a voice that deserves to be heard, an executive who is always open to learning from others, and a team player who embraces collaboration.”

The shift was not from incapable to capable.

It was from carrying leadership alone to understanding herself and others more deeply—and using her voice with greater clarity and confidence.

Perhaps you do not need to have every answer simply because you are the leader. Perhaps your next level of leadership begins with becoming curious enough to keep learning.

“Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.”
— James 1:19 NKJV Follow us in Skool link in the bio

Urgent 🚨 vs Choice 🧭 THURSDAY HABIT

When everything feels urgent, nothing gets your best.

That is what pressure does.

It makes the email feel urgent.
The family issue feel urgent.
The deadline feel urgent.
The unanswered message feel urgent.
The postponed decision feel urgent.

And before long, your mind is trying to carry ten things at once.

That is not clarity.
That is overload.

One of the most practical things you can do when life feels like this is to stop and sort what is pulling at you.

Take a page and divide it into three headings:

1. What needs my attention today?
2. What can wait?
3. What is not mine to carry?

That third question matters.

Not every problem is yours to solve.
Not every demand deserves a yes.
Not every urgent feeling is actually a priority.

This is part of the work we do in CORE — learning how to pause, think more clearly and respond more intentionally under pressure.

Because sometimes wisdom is not doing more.

It is knowing what to put down.

“Commit your works to the Lord, And your thoughts will be established.” — Proverbs 16:3 NKJV

Choose what matters most today.
Then give that your attention. https://www.skool.com/the-inner-boardroom-collective-8515/about follow us in Skool

Today, people see Vaeshni as a senior leader and CFO.

What they don’t see is the season when she was repeatedly told that she was “too soft-spoken” and began questioning whether she could truly lead and influence teams and business partners.

She was also raising two young children, trying to find balance and, by her own admission, initially sceptical about coaching.

That was the messy middle.

The turning point came when we began working with real situations from her life. Instead of accepting other people’s opinions as the final truth, she learned to process feedback differently, recognise how hard she was on herself and change the narrative she had begun believing.

In her words:

“Sometimes I was too hard on myself. Often, I only heard the development side of the discussion and none of the good stuff.”

Her success means more when you understand what came before it.

She did not need to become louder or pretend to be someone else. She needed to recognise that quietness is not weakness and that leadership does not come in only one personality type.

If you are in the messy middle, questioning whether you have what it takes, do not mistake uncertainty for incapability. Sometimes the very quality you have been taught to doubt can become one of your greatest strengths.

“In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.”
— Isaiah 30:15 NKJV

WEDNESDAY WISDOM

Sometimes the pressure doesn’t come from what is happening today.

It comes from trying to solve tomorrow, next week and next year all at once.

We want certainty.
We want the full plan.
We want to know how everything is going to work out.

But most of life is lived one step at a time.

Sometimes the better question is not:

“How am I going to fix all of this?”

But simply:

“What is mine to do today?”

One conversation.
One decision.
One boundary.
One prayer.
One next step.

Jesus reminds us:

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” — Matthew 6:34 NKJV

There are things we need to change.

There are things we need to surrender.

And wisdom is learning the difference.

You don’t need the strength for the whole journey today.

Just enough grace for the next step. 🤍

For years, I believed the answer was to work harder, carry more and keep pushing.
Until burnout landed me in hospital. I then was a leader in Corporate banking….
That experience led me into coaching, CIQ neuroscience and more than 1,000 hours of coaching conversations — and taught me that what happens inside us eventually affects how we live outside.
Sometimes you don’t need to try harder.
You need to understand the thinking, stress, emotions and patterns keeping you stuck.
That is why our work inside The Inner Boardroom Collective goes deeper than motivation.
CORE helps you understand stress, overwhelm and your patterns of thinking and responding — so you can create healthier ways of navigating life.
Hearts Made Whole supports you through grief and loss — helping you process what has happened, understand how grief has affected your identity, rebuild resilience and gradually find purpose and direction again.
We also offer practical tools, self-guided programmes, a Life Audit and coaching support for different seasons of life.
You don’t have to wait until everything falls apart before you begin changing what is happening inside.
Reset · Restore · Rise. We are currently fully booked with one-on one sessions but please explore
👉 https://www.skool.com/the-inner-boardroom-collective-8515/about For free trials and our amazing programs

One of my client’s Elize said something a while back that I haven’t stopped thinking about:

“You will walk out a different person.”

Those words stayed with me because real transformation is rarely about becoming someone else. It is about finding your way back to the person beneath the pressure, uncertainty and self-doubt.

She also said that she couldn’t wait for our weekly sessions and that I had the ability to brighten a cloudy day. But those sessions were about far more than feeling better for an hour.

They created space to think clearly, see situations differently and move forward with renewed confidence and hope.

That is why her words matter to me.

The greatest outcome of coaching is not that someone needs their coach forever. It is watching them begin to trust themselves, make different choices and face life with greater clarity.

Sometimes one honest conversation can change the direction of a life. Follow us in Skool