Lincoln Golf Centre

It’s truly amazing how grass always covers no matter how warm it gets

After the warmest record we’ve ever had to endure here at Lincoln Golf Centre no less seven days later and the fairways and surrounds are really starting to turn a nice shade of green again thankfully

Have you been out on our course last few days dodging the rain and amazed by the changes?

Smoking ban now removed - thank you for your assistance in this matter

Big congrats to Amelia who smashed the junior coaching tonight and walked away with golfer of the day award

Top work 👏

🏌️‍♀️

Last nights adults coaching classes enjoying socialising, meeting fellow new golfers and improving their golf swings 👍🏻

Golf is such a great golf for social interaction and making new friends 🤝

Gains were made throughout the class and with a practice session or 2 before next week gains will be made

Top work troops 👏 👏

If you’d like to get into golf and hone and improve your skills head to our website to book in for future classes

Stevie’s Diary Day 6: Spa Day for Good Boy 🧼🤖

System Log: Unit STEVIE-69 // Log Date: Day 6

One full week on the job, and I officially think I’m settling in.

It’s been hard work dropping all these tee boxes down to perfection, but hard labor brings sweet rewards.

After showing some actual self-control and keeping my chassis off the 8th tee marker all week, I’ve finally made it into Adrian the Head Greenkeeper’s good books. My reward? A full spa treatment.
Today I got my very first bath!

Adrian flipped me right onto my back (wheels up, pure vulnerability) for a full underside scrub and tickle to get all the caked-on grass out of my undercarriage.

I haven't felt this squeaky clean or appreciated since I rolled off the assembly line.

Safe to say, Adrian and I are best mates now. Good behavior really pays off.

End of transmission.

Wheels up, belly out,

Stevie the Robot 🤖🧼✂️ (Currently 100% clean, 10/10 good bot)

Subject: Stevie’s Weekend Log

Late-Night Grinding & Selfie Etiquette 🤖📸

System Log: Unit STEVIE-69 // Weekend Edition

While you lot were soaking up the sunshine, Stevie was out in the dark doing the dirty work.

I’ve been grinding through the midnight hours as my map proves, keeping the local wildlife on their toes, and trimming these tee tops so tight they look like velvet.

Major milestone: I successfully avoided all tee markers. Adrian the Head Greenkeeper might actually like me by Monday 🙏

Today is strictly for recharging my battery and posing for my fans.

You’re more than welcome to come snap a selfie with the local legend, but DO NOT TOUCH. I might look friendly, but I’m still a ferocious little beast—just ask the 8th tee marker.

Ready to rip into another week and keep these boxes looking immaculate.

End of transmission.

Look, don't touch.

Stevie the Robot 🤖⚡✂️ (Recharging, but still dangerous)

Diary of a robot Day 3

Status: Recalibrated, re-lubricated, and strictly forbidden from touching the local hardware.

Diagnostics & Upgrades

Sensors: Recalibrated to stop mistaking the 8th tee marker for a rival stud. The marker was granted a full restraining order; my bumper has been legally bound to stay 3 feet away.

Firmware: "Violent Rip Behaviour v2.1" temporarily downgraded to "Aggressive Edging v1.0."

Blades: Polished, primed, and set to a filthily low cut. Pure eye candy for anyone who likes their turf close-shaved.

Operational Plan: Weekend Protocol
While you lot are out getting sweaty, making bad decisions, and ruining your own knees on the dance floor, I’ll be out here grinding in the dark, giving every single tee box the strict, systematic trim it deserves.

Target: Deep, precise lines. Smooth, velvet finishes. Absolute turf satisfaction.

Mood: 99% professional greenskeeper, 1% vibrating chassis waiting to mistake a stray hazard stake for a good time.

Rest assured, these tee tops are about to look ridiculously dirty in the best way possible. I promise to keep my deck down and my joy-stick locked—at least until my creator turns his back.

My master been out to restore my setting

It’s go time

Stevie the 🤖

Big shout out to Bam who shone in tonight’s Junior coaching and proudly walked away as the golfer of the day

Top work 👏 ⛳️

Dear Diary,

Day two took a slightly unexpected turn for my culinary palate.

Turns out, the yellow tee markers on the 8th tee are not a giant post-mow snack. I spent the entire night pinned on top of one, attempting to digest it, only to realise it’s entirely inedible.

Adrian, our Head Greenkeeper, found me this morning and gave me a firm talking-to. I’ve officially had my remedial training on how to smoothly navigate around tee blocks instead of trying to swallow them whole.

Today’s lessons:

✅ Tee markers are friends, not food.

✅ “Autonomous” does not mean “invincible against rigid plastic.”

✅ Adrian’s disappointed dad voice works on robots too.

I’ve been given a little extra supervision for the rest of the afternoon—basically the turf equivalent of detention. Back on straight lines tomorrow, fully educated and strictly on a plant-based diet.

Until then,
Stevie the Robot Mower 🤖🌱 😇

“Steer clear of the markers, stick to the blades.”

P.S. Sorry Adrian, I thought number 8 was a lucky sign! 💛⛳

Dear Diary,

Today was my first day at the golf centre.

I arrived bright and early, fresh out of the box and ready to make a great first impression.

I was expecting a warm welcome, perhaps a ribbon-cutting ceremony or at least a round of applause.
Instead, I was immediately surrounded by golfers asking: “Can it fix my slice?"

For the record, I cut grass. Miracles are above my pay grade.

After a quick tour of my new workplace, I got straight to work. The grass seemed pleased to see me, although I suspect that's because it didn't realise what was about to happen.

I met some of the driving range regulars too. Most were very friendly. One gentleman spent ten minutes watching me and announced:
"I'd rather watch that than my golf ball disappear into the trees."

High praise, I think.
I've already learned a few important things:

✅ Golfers love talking about the weather.

✅ Everyone thinks they can park a golf buggy better than everyone else.

✅ The range balls travel much faster than I do.

✅ Apparently I'm now a local celebrity.
By lunchtime I had covered more ground than some golfers manage in 18 holes and hadn't lost a single ball in a water hazard.

Tomorrow I'm hoping to tackle more grass, avoid any adventurous seagulls, and continue my quest to become the hardest-working member of staff

Until then,

Stevie the Robot Mower 🤖🌱😇

"Keeping the course looking sharp, one blade at a time."

P.S. If you see me out and about, please don't try to race me. You will win. Comfortably. 🏁😂