Melanie Swift Coaching

Melanie Swift Coaching Hypnotherapy and Mindset Coaching ✨ 10 years experience ✨ Neurodiverse friendly

This lovely client came to see me for support letting go of an ex. We established the patterns leant in childhood that w...
16/09/2026

This lovely client came to see me for support letting go of an ex. We established the patterns leant in childhood that were keeping her ruminating on him, then through a powerful blend of coaching and hypnotherapy, we let those go and built new subconscious beliefs around love.

If you’d like support anywhere from navigating a relationship, processing a separation, to dating and/or single life, please comment YES or send me a private message for info on how I can support you.

My sessions are £125 for 90 mins
Or £450 for a block of 4

Online or my clinic in Bristol.
Your matters of the heart are safe with me.

With love,
Mel ❤️

15/09/2026

How many of these can you relate to?

1️⃣ You write down the things they have done in your notes app or screenshot conversations as proof you aren’t going crazy.

2️⃣ You take pictures of things you might need as evidence in a future argument. For example, if they ask for something at the shop and it’s out of stock you take a photo of the empty shelves so that you can’t be accused of not caring/remembering.

3️⃣ You second guess yourself all the time and question if you are being unreasonable or the one in the wrong. Perhaps you even wonder if YOU are the narcissist because they always say you are the problem (even though you try your best not to keep the peace)

4️⃣ You find yourself constantly apologizing, even when you aren’t the one who did anything wrong. Somehow they always become the victim 🤔

5️⃣ You start making excuses or justifications for their behaviour to your family/friends, or worse you stop telling people altogether because you know it is unacceptable and admitting it means having to do something about it.

6️⃣ You live in a state of hyper-vigilance.
You carefully rehearse how you are going to bring up tiny problems because you fear the psychological explosion or denial that you know will follow.

❤️I have worked with clients for years who have been chronically gaslit by partners/parents/colleagues and the effects are serious and long lasting.

🙏🏻Your nervous system can be healed, but first you need the validation of what you’ve experienced. You aren’t going crazy, they thrive off of confusing you.

If this list helped please save or share.

With love,
Mel ❤️

When you learn to stop chasing, forcing, or people pleasing, you become unavailable to everything that is unaligned. Thi...
14/09/2026

When you learn to stop chasing, forcing, or people pleasing, you become unavailable to everything that is unaligned.

This can be painful and uncomfortable, especially if you are used to prioritizing other people’s needs before your own.

But when you genuinely detach from what you will no longer tolerate, you shift your frequency to a new timeline.

Things will start leaving your life unexpectedly and new opportunities will come in.

Here you become a magnet for all that you actually do desire and deserve, and you can see why you had to let go of what was hurting you.

With love,
Mel ❤️

13/09/2026

Breaking a trauma bond is not a logical process; it is an emotional withdrawal from a psychological addiction. If you want to stop the cycle of going back, I’ve got you.

Here is your 6 step blueprint to break the bond for good:

1️⃣ See it for what it is: an addiction.

In a trauma bond, the person you crave is the exact same person who causes your pain. It is the same neurological cycle of addiction to alcohol or drugs.

2️⃣ Recognise what you are actually craving.

The craving isn’t really for them. It is a craving for the temporary, intense rush of relief you get the moment they finally choose you again. (They are usually not even that special when your attachment wears off)

3️⃣ Grieve the fantasy and look at the real price tag.

Write down all the pain that staying with them causes you, perhaps it’s intense jealousy, the feeling of inferiority, or chronic insecurity. The highs might be high, but what are those toxic lows actually bringing to the party?

4️⃣ Fast-forward to the reality of a future together.

Write down what a long-term life would really look like with them. Not the romanticised version in your head, but the reality. Will it be on-again/off-again forever? Can you truly trust them? Will you ever feel emotionally safe? Do you genuinely respect them as a person?

5️⃣ Go no contact/unfollow them

You cannot heal from a wound while you are actively picking at the scab. A clean break will hurt, but you do not need to see what they are up to or who they are with. Drop the rope, pull all that beautiful energy back into yourself, and reclaim your life.

6️⃣ Replace your Dopamine

Start building other sources of joy and satisfaction that are completely unrelated to them. A new fitness class, a hobby you always wanted to do, redecorate your house, travel, do whatever you want. Just stop re-reading the last chapter of your life and begin writing the next.

When I help clients with this we treat it like a drug withdrawal, because essentially it is.

The cycle will never end on its own, so you have to decide your self worth is more important than repeatedly going back to what hurts you.

If you found this helpful please save or share.

With love,
Mel ❤️

In my clinic I regularly see big, kind hearted souls shrink themselves to keep others comfortable. They self abandon to ...
12/09/2026

In my clinic I regularly see big, kind hearted souls shrink themselves to keep others comfortable. They self abandon to keep the peace, the minimize their needs to keep someone close, they over give and get taken advantage of.

The answer isn’t to stop having these lovely qualities, but to learn the discernment of who deserves access to them.

Please send this on to the person with the biggest heart that you know to remind them of their light 💡

With love,
Mel ❤️

11/09/2026

Ok I’ve got FIVE sentences that you’re going to want to save and come back to, which all shatter a narcissists ego…

1️⃣ “What you choose to believe about me is none of my concern”

They thrive off of getting a reaction out of you. Making you out to be the villain is an almost guaranteed way to get a rise, so by staying unbothered about whatever BS story they are trying to spin, you remove their power and satisfaction.

2️⃣ “Please can you clarify the point you are making?”

They thrive on confusing you by creating a big word salad out of no real substance or actual argument. This question strips away the confusion and puts them in the uncomfortable position of explaining their (likely contradictory) point.

3️⃣ ”What part of this do you believe you are responsible for?”

It will always be none (obviously!), but asking the question will highlight how incapable they are of apologizing or taking accountability.

4️⃣ “Your feelings aren’t my responsibility”

They can’t handle shame, guilt or inadequacy so they have to make everything your fault. Empaths are notorious for feeling responsible for other’s wellbeing, but in this instance you have to learn to walk away and leave them in their own discomfort.

5️⃣ “We clearly remember things differently, I’m not going to debate who is right”

A narcissist wants you to doubt your own reality so you rely entirely on theirs. By calmly refusing to argue about the facts, you completely starve them of the chance to rewrite history or make you look crazy.

With over a decade of experience as a therapist I see narcissists tactics ALL the time. You can’t win, but you can stop playing.

If you found these helpful please save or share.

With love,
Mel ❤️

Narcissists, gaslighters, users and manipulators are always subtly using you for their own gain. But a great way to see ...
10/09/2026

Narcissists, gaslighters, users and manipulators are always subtly using you for their own gain. But a great way to see it in action is how they handle conflict.

These people get upset when they lose access to you as a result of their actions, whereas someone who genuinely loves you for you will be heartbroken that they hurt you and actively want to repair it.

It’s the difference between;

“Why are you making such a big deal, it doesn’t matter that much. God you’re so sensitive”

Vs

“I’m sorry that was hurtful to you, how can I repair it?”

Do you feel the difference? One gets you to question the severity of it while the other validates your experience.

Please share or repost if you found this useful.

With love,
Mel ❤️

My top relationship psychology tips… ❤️
08/09/2026

My top relationship psychology tips… ❤️

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