Loretta Davie Coaching

You can be incredibly good at coping and still reach a point where coping doesn’t feel like enough anymore.

You’re doing what needs doing, keeping everyone else going and making the decisions that make the most sense for everybody.

But somewhere underneath all of that, you’ve started wondering where you are in it.

Maybe you’re snapping more quickly than you used to.
Maybe you’re crying at things that normally wouldn’t touch the sides.
Maybe someone asks what you want and you genuinely don’t know.

Your reactions are telling you something.

That’s why I created From Coping to Choosing, my free five-day video series for women who are tired of holding everything together and calling it fine.

This isn’t five days of homework or another set of things you should be doing better.

It’s five short videos looking at what’s underneath the patterns that keep you putting yourself last, why they can become so difficult to change, and what starts to happen when you begin putting yourself back into your own decisions.

Because the shift I want you to see isn’t vague.

It’s being able to answer “what do you want?” and actually know.
Making a decision without asking everyone else what they think first.
Saying what you mean without immediately trying to make it easier for everybody else.
Feeling less braced and more able to choose from a steady place.

The first video lands on Monday 14 September and registration closes at midnight on Sunday 13 September.

The link to sign up is in the comments x

There’s a version of moving abroad that looks like the one people post about. New skyline. First coffee in a café you can’t pronounce yet. The caption about new beginnings.

Then there’s the version most women actually live.

The one where you’ve organised everything, kept everyone else calm, smiled through the goodbyes, and somewhere between the airport and the unpacking, quietly lost track of yourself. The one where you arrive and realise the hardest part was never the logistics.

If that second version sounds familiar, the new blog post is for you.

It covers the difference between relocation coaching and expat coaching, why capable women find this the hardest, and what actually changes when you do the work underneath the checklist.

Link in bio.

xo Loretta

Lately I’ve been thinking about the women who almost don’t get in touch.

The ones who read the content and think: yes, that’s me, but probably not for me.

Maybe they’re not in crisis. Maybe their life looks fine on paper. Maybe they’ve just talked themselves out of it because they’re still functioning and that feels like enough of a reason not to.

Functioning isn’t the same as living, managing isn’t the same as choosing and coping definitely isn’t the same as being okay.

If you’ve been sitting on the fence because you think you have to be further gone to deserve support, this is for you.

The connection call is free and there’s no obligation. Link in bio, or drop me a DM.

Last week I talked about where the pattern started. This week is about what it cost.

By the time I reached my twenties I was very good at functioning. At holding things together. Showing up for everyone while quietly carrying whatever needed carrying.

In the early years, whilst becoming a parent and preparing for a move, I had a postnatal crisis that the people around me didn’t fully see. Because I was, as ever, managing with a smile on my face. Business as usual. I dealt with it and carried on.

After moving many times across the UK and then overseas, I found myself in a place that felt unfamiliar, a culture I wasn’t used to, feeling out of place but still having to keep functioning. I found my passion and my love of dogs, threw myself into founding a rescue in circumstances that were anything but simple. I loved that work. But I was still struggling underneath all of it, and eventually hit rock bottom, doing unhealthy things to try to cope.

After repatriating, my son was critically ill. Then the bereavements came. Several, in a relatively short space of time. My uncle. My father-in-law. Later, my dad, whose absence I still feel every day.

That’s the thing about this pattern. It’s incredibly effective. Right up until it’s not.

The body eventually sends the bill.

Mine did.

Part 3 next week. x

Most of the time it doesn’t look like a crisis.

It looks like functioning. Like showing up. Like being the one everyone relies on while something quieter gets left behind.

If any of those slides just described you, you’re not being dramatic and you’re not ungrateful. You’re carrying something real that deserves proper attention.

Save this. Send it to someone who needs to see it.

When you’re ready to do something about it, the connection call is the place to start. Link in bio.

🔔 Follow for more gentle, grounded mindset shifts that help you thrive through life’s transitions

She came to me after her partner had cheated. Completely lost, stuck in her head, torn between the life she had and the one she knew she needed to build.

From the outside she was holding it together. Inside she’d lost herself completely.

That’s the work. Not just getting through the hard thing. Finding yourself on the other side of it.

She’s back playing tennis, going to the gym, putting her energy into herself instead of everyone else. Stronger, clearer, and finally focusing on her own life.

If you’re in the middle of something that’s left you not recognising yourself, come and talk to me. Link in bio or drop me a dm.

By the time she reaches out, she has usually been managing so well for so long that she has lost track of what it feels like not to be managing.

She has forgotten that steadiness is a feeling, not just a performance.

She’s stopped checking in with herself about what she actually wants, needs, or feels. Not because she doesn’t care. Because there hasn’t been space.

That is not a flaw. That’s what happens when you’ve been the capable one for a very long time.

It is also exactly where the work begins.

If that sounds familiar, the connection call is the place to start. Link in bio.