Katie Newcombe - Holistic Infant Sleep Coach

If you’re desperate for more undisturbed sleep, you may have heard that leaving your baby to cry is the answer.

While this advice dates back to the 1800s and is still supported by many, it hasn’t fully caught up with modern research on infant brain development.

Studies in neuroscience and child psychology show that babies aren’t born with the mature brain structures required to calm themselves from a distressed state. Instead, their developing nervous systems rely on consistent caregiver support to regulate stress.

When you respond to their needs, you teach them the world is safe—an essential building block for healthier sleep patterns as they grow.

While ignoring cries might appear to work because the baby eventually becomes quiet, this “quiet” often reflects a shutdown response, not genuine self-soothing.

In contrast, consistently meeting their needs helps shape the brain’s pathways for trust, emotional security, and resilience. As these connections strengthen and your child matures, night wakes tend to reduce naturally, paving the way for more settled, independent sleep.

But if your goal is to reduce night wakes whilst respecting your child’s developmental stage and supporting truly secure sleep, consistent responsiveness is key.

Over time, you’ll foster a sense of safety that leads to confident, restful, independent sleep.

You are so welcome 🫶

(Unless you LOVE traditional sleep training and aren’t willing to hear anything against it. Then you’re probs not welcome ✌️)

Ok listen… the reason your baby is waking at night is NOT because you’ve supported them to sleep 🙅🏼‍♀️

Here’s the thing…
Babies are born with very immature brains. They need to borrow our mature brains to help them do the things they can’t do yet!

And they aren’t able to self-regulate or self-settle—these are skills that develop as their brains mature, often well into toddlerhood.

So the idea that you should be able to put your baby down ‘drowsy but awake’ and let them settle themselves to sleep just doesn’t align with what’s biologically or developmentally normal!

(This isn’t to say that no babies are capable of it. Some babies with a more chilled temperament may well be able to!)

By trying to do so, you’re likely creating unnecessary stress—for both you and your baby!

Offering consistent, attuned support helps your baby in the moment— AND starts building the neural pathways that will make independent sleep possible in the future.

Let’s stop worrying about “bad habits” and start recognising the power of supporting them.

Amidst the chaos and uncertainly of your postpartum journey, it’s normal to desire some control and consistency.

And these sleep schedules give the *illusion* of this, right?!

All you gotta do is feed them at these specific times, and make sure they sleep at these times for this long and everyone will be happy.

Easy!

Funny thing is… babies are not robots. And — all babies are different! 🤯 (also — fyi, wake windows are NOT evidence based!)

Some babes will have a super chill temperament that means they will happily follow your lead and slot into a schedule.

Others, quite frankly, will not…! (Like mine 🙋🏼‍♀️)

So if you’ve tried to follow a plan but your spirited little one has fought you every step of the way — I need you to know that it’s ok for you to put the sleep plan DOWN!

To stop tracking their sleep.

And instead - to watch your baby!
To trust them. Trust yourself. And follow their lead.

(And PLEASE — never ever let any of these plans or ST accounts make you feel like you’re just not trying hard enough to make it work.)

Amidst the chaos and uncertainly of your postpartum journey, it’s normal to desire some control and consistency.

And these sleep plans give the *illusion* of this, right?!

All you gotta do is feed them at these specific times, and make sure they sleep at these times for this long and everyone will be happy.

Easy!

Funny thing is… babies are not robots. And — all babies are different! 🤯 (also — fyi, wake windows are NOT evidence based!)

Some will have a super chill temperament that means they will happily follow your lead and slot into a schedule.

Others, quite frankly, will not…! (Like mine 🙋🏼‍♀️)

So if you’ve tried to follow a plan but your spirited little one has some big feelings about it, I need you to know that it’s ok for you to put the sleep plan DOWN!

To stop tracking their sleep.

And instead - to watch your baby! And to follow their lead.

And PLEASE — never ever let any of these plans or accounts make you feel like you’re just not trying hard enough to make it work. Like it’s your fault — and you’re doing your baby a disservice by not getting it right…

Ever gently laid your baby down in their cot only for them to wake up the second you step away? 🙃

Yep.. It’s beyond frustrating—BUT it’s also totally normal.

In my latest blog, we’re diving into why babies prefer being close and how to make nap time easier for both of you.

I’ll walk you through:
- Embracing contact naps (and why it’s okay to do so!)
- Tips for smoother crib naps if you’re ready
- Floor beds vs cots

Head to my bio or comment NAPS below for the keys to cot nap success!