Beacon of Light

A perspective for giving moms to give to themselves

Many of my clients are moms and to me each and everyone one of them feels like a superhero. The many things they handle at the same time feels out of this world to me. Always has, watching my own mom’s seemingly never-ending power.

But this post ist not about the power of moms.

This post is about the standards you set for your children.

What do they notice is normal from the way you treat yourself?
What are they seeing you do -or not do- for yourself?

And why does it matter so much?

Because it sets the tone for their own self- care.

The way you treat yourself, becomes your life. I always say that.

But you know what?

The way you treat yourself becomes their life, too.

So, what are they currently learning from watching you?

How do you treat yourself?
Speak to yourself?
Show up for yourself?

And is that the standard you want your children to have?

If yes, congrats and welcome to the Self-Care-Queens Club (I just made that up because I’d love to unite Self-Care-Queens 😉).

If not, how would you like them to treat themselves?
Start treating yourself from that new standard.

With all my heart,
Conny

Your Sunday doesn’t owe Monday s**t.

I mean it.

You don’t have to use today to become a more functional version of yourself for tomorrow.

Rest if you want to rest.
Go out if you want to go out.
Have (self-) s*x. Or enjoy having absolutely nobody touch you today.
Clean the whole house because for some strange reason that genuinely brings you joy.
Lie on the sofa and watch six episodes of something objectively terrible.
Call your mum. ❤️
Don’t call anyone. 🫶
Buy flowers. (Okay, in Germany you might have to pick them yourself on a Sunday 😉)

You decide what self-care looks like for you.

So, what do you want to do with this piece of your life today?

Whatever comes up gets to count.

Wait. When did this all become your job?

“Everyone relies on me.”
My client started and then continued:
“I do everything. At work, at home, and with the paperwork.”

I keep thinking about that sentence.
Because being capable can hide a lot.
You can remember it.
You can organize it.
You can take care of it.
You can make sure everybody is okay.

Okay.

But is it yours?

I’ve become really interested in that question.

What are you responsible for in your life simply because at some point you became the person who does it?

Are you your own boss in your life?

And if not — who or what is? 👀

Reminder: You can choose where this week takes you.

Maybe becoming harder to impress isn’t about raising your standards.

Maybe it’s about finally having your own.

Self-care is just how you find out what those are.

Are you ready to listen?

Have a lovely Self-Care Sunday 🫶

Guilt came with me to the beach.

My family had visitors.

I really needed some time for myself.

So I went.

A few things I noticed:

1. I knew what I needed. That’s huge.
2. I said it out loud and acted on it. That’s still uncomfortable.
3. A part of me still believes that caring for myself means caring less for someone else.

It doesn’t.

4. My family had a wonderful day without me.

So maybe guilt isn’t always telling you to turn around.

Maybe it’s simply telling you…
you’re no longer following the old rules.

And maybe that’s exactly how a new normal begins.

🤍

What has guilt been trying to stop you from lately?

Not first. Not last. Just… included.

How would Self-Care-Sunday look like if you stopped leaving yourself out?

Start listening 🫶

Self-care isn’t the exception. It’s not the reward. It’s Tuesday.

What’s one thing that’s become “normal” for you... that you don’t want to be
your normal anymore?

I’ll go first: Feeling guilty for leaving when I simply wanted to leave.

Not anymore.
Your turn. 👇