Fembodied Fitness

Still trying to eat less + cardio your way lean? Comment PRIME and I’ll send you a resource on what to do instead.

Feeling spicy… but I’ve earned the attitude. 😏

There was a time I was doing double cardio sessions daily.

And guess what?

I wasn’t leaner.

I was softer. Puffier. Inflamed.

But I was terrified to pull back because I thought, If THIS isn’t working, how could doing less possibly help?

So I did what driven women do when something isn’t working:

More.

More cardio. Less food. Push harder.

Turns out, effort wasn’t my problem.

My strategy was.

Almost 43, I eat plenty, lift heavy, prioritize recovery and do a dash of cardio without making it my entire personality.

So yeah… if you’re still stuck in the eat less, do more cardio era, it’s time to get the f**k out.

You don’t need to work harder. You need to work smarter.

Comment PRIME and I’ll show you where to start.

The body-image noise never completely went away.

I just stopped letting it make my decisions.

I still have moments where I think…

Am I getting too big?
Is this too much muscle?
Wait… is it not enough muscle?
Am I getting too lean?
Am I getting too soft?

Sometimes the thoughts literally contradict each other. 😂

The difference now is I notice them without emotionally spiraling.

I don’t treat every thought I have about my body like it’s a problem I need to solve.

Instead, I can recognize:

This is where I am right now. And this is the season I’m in.

Right now, I’m getting ready for a season of GROWTH.

My intention is to EAT. 😂
Train hard.
Get stronger.
And intentionally build more muscle.

Because I love muscle. I love shape, definition and proportion—and you can’t create those things without actually building it.

Will I gain some body fat along the way?

Probably.

But there’s still a standard.

I’m comfortable gaining some body fat. I’m not comfortable abandoning my standards.

Then, when the time is right, I’ll enter another season where I lean out and reveal what I’ve built.

Grow. Lean out. Maintain. Grow again.

I LOVE the ebb and flow of it now.

Having a methodical plan for each season has given me so much freedom around food and my body.

I’m not cutting calories because I woke up feeling a little softer or because one photo made me question myself.

I know what season I’m in, what the goal is, and why I’m doing it.

And this is a huge part of why I feel so qualified to support other women through this.

Because I understand the noise.

I’ve lived the food obsession. The body obsession. The constant feeling that something needed to change.

Being on the other side doesn’t mean I don’t care what I look like.

Of course I care.

It means I can pursue the physique I want without letting that pursuit consume me.

There’s a plan. There’s a season. There’s a purpose.

And there is SO much freedom in that.

The thoughts still show up sometimes.

I just don’t let them run the show anymore.

Tell me I’m not the only one whose brain can have two completely opposite opinions about her body in the same five minutes. 😂

I will never not care about aesthetics.

I love looking strong. Lean. Athletic. Powerful.

But I also want to feel powerful.

I want to jump. Run. Move. Be explosive.

I grew up an athlete. I know what it means to be competitive, disciplined and willing to work harder than most people around me.

And maybe that’s why I understand the women who come to me so well.

They’re go-getters.

Type A.

Many of them grew up athletes too.

They’re successful, capable women who are used to putting their head down, doing the work and getting the result.

Until suddenly… that stops working with their body.

That was me too.

My instinct was always:

Do more. Push harder. Try harder.

Until more stopped making me better.

It started sending me backwards.

And THAT was a hard lesson for the athlete in me.

Because when you know you’re capable of more, doing less can feel like settling.

But there’s a difference between doing less and doing what’s optimal.

That requires a completely different level of discipline.

Knowing when to push.

Knowing when to recover.

Knowing when your body needs more fuel instead of another deficit.

Knowing when another workout isn’t the answer.

I’m still competitive.

I still want the physique.

I still want strength, athleticism and performance.

And I still want to see what I’m capable of.

I’ve just stopped measuring my discipline by how much I can tolerate.

Now I measure it by how intelligently I can direct it.

Because eventually, every high-performing woman has to learn:

More isn’t always better.

Better is better.

Maybe this is controversial, but I still want my husband to think I’m hot.

We’ve been together since 2008.

And after all these years, kids, careers, stress, responsibilities and all the different versions of ourselves we’ve lived through… marriage isn’t always easy.

But there’s something we’ve both continued to value:

We take care of ourselves for ourselves — but also for each other.

I want to look good for my husband.

I want him to be attracted to me.

I want there to be physical and sexual chemistry between us.

And I don’t think there’s anything shallow about admitting that.

Do I love him because he’s hot? 😂 Obviously not.

I love the man he is.

He’s an incredible father.
He’s a provider.
He’s loyal.
He works hard.
He’s my partner in this crazy life we’ve built together.

But he’s also hot.

And I’m never going to pretend that doesn’t matter to me.

I appreciate that he takes care of himself.

And after almost two decades together, I still care about doing the same.

Because I don’t think attraction has to become irrelevant just because you’ve been together forever.

Bodies change. Life changes. We age. None of us are going to look 25 forever.

But the effort?

The desire to take care of yourself, feel good in your body and continue showing up for your partner?

I think that matters.

Maybe that’s an unpopular opinion.

But almost 20 years later, I still want to look across the room and think…

Damn. That’s my husband. 😏

And I hope he thinks the same thing about me.