Carmen Hayward - Fitness & Nutrition Coach

The question at the end is rhetorical.
You do need to be in a calorie deficit to lose fat — any type of fat — visceral or subcutaneous.

No wonder women are confused during menopause.
One expert says one thing, another says the opposite (or in this case, the same one says both).

But the same rules still apply:
FAT LOSS REQUIRES A CALORIE DEFICIT.

Do hormones impact things? 100%.
But most of the time, what they impact are your actions.

Think about it —
Most women in their 40s are juggling kids, careers, aging parents, and the house… all while dealing with hormonal shifts that make you feel tired, anxious, moody, and unmotivated.

Those feelings lead to lifestyle changes you don’t even realize you’re making —
less meal prep, more takeout, less movement, worse sleep, more stress.
That’s what impacts your weight.

I’m not saying this to shame you — I’m saying it to empower you.
You are more in control of your body than you realize.
You do not have to fall victim to blaming your hormones.

It comes down to repeating the boring basics day in and day out.

👊 I'm REPOSTING this one because I want as many women as possible to see it. (I'd love for you to share or repost this 😉)

Old me: up until midnight Googling why I can't lose weight, coming across something like "cortisol belly" to blame, and adding supplements to my cart.

New me: track your food and collect data. You are NOT a victim.

I used to think the answer was hiding in some article I hadn't read yet, or some supplement I hadn't tried yet. Another root cause, another hormone, another protocol.

It wasn't. It was just data I'd never actually collected.

"Track your food" sounds too simple to be the answer — I get it, old me thought the same thing. It felt too hard, too boring, not the "real" fix I was searching for at 11pm.

But it's the thing that actually works. Not another supplement. Not another article. Just knowing what you're actually eating.

If you're in the Googling-at-midnight phase — I can help. Comment MACROS and I'll send you my free tracking guide to start with.

The "pretend you're a Victoria's Secret model going onstage in 7 days" diet tip is one of the most ridiculous things that I've heard. I was SHOCKED to hear this!

I see this kind of advice, and it drives me mental! It teaches women that food is something to be white-knuckled through instead of something you can actually trust yourself around.

Here's what I tell my clients instead:
Nutrition isn't about stressing over every morsel that goes into your mouth to stay a certain size.

It's about balance.

It's about eating in a way you can actually sustain, not performing mental restrictions, pretending you're a supermodel who can't eat.

We need to throw the skinny trend in the trash. Women's bodies aren't supposed to be optimized for a runway. They're supposed to be lived in.

Balance isn't the boring answer. It's the answer that actually works long-term.

Okay, I know this is cringe. Filming a "conversation" with myself from 10 years ago? Genuinely awkward. I almost didn't post it.

But I'm in a storytelling challenge so I'm doing the thing. And, growth doesn't happen in your comfort zone, and honestly, that's kind of the whole point of this post.

In 2016 I was running a busy salon, back-to-back clients, no time to eat or breathe, let alone drink water because then I'd have to p*e. There's absolutely no version of me back then who'd have believed I'd shut it down.

I also spent years terrified to put myself out there. Way too concerned about what people thought of me.

Then a client told me something that changed everything: it's none of your business what people think of you.

So I started sharing my story anyway. Awkward the whole time (see: this reel). But women kept telling me I was inspiring them, and that became the whole reason I do this work.

In my twenties I used to cut pictures of athletic women out of magazines and put them on my fridge. Twenty-five years later, I got to be one of them — featured in STRONG Fitness Magazine — TWICE!!

None of it happened overnight. It took really work and insane consistency. But it's still the best thing I've ever done for my health... and personal growth.

If 2016 me could see this post, she would die of embarrassment. But 2026 me would make her post it anyway.

My client thought she "messed up." I see it differently — she LEARNED. And that's a win!

Here’s the thing: mistakes aren’t failures. Repeating the same mistakes without looking at the deeper WHY is.

I encouraged her dig in a little and ask herself:
🤔 What led to your choices?
🤔 What can you do differently next time?
🤔 What did you learn about yourself from this?

Intentionally reflect on the situation with purpose. Then move forward.

No beating yourself up or dwelling on it.
That just makes things worse.

Learn. Adjust. Keep going. That’s how real progress happens.