We often judge ourselves by our intentions - but other people experience us through our actions.
As leaders, we may intend to be supportive, empowering and approachable. But what happens when we are under pressure, short on time or focused on getting the work done? Do people still experience us that way?
Our Leadership Shadow is the impact cast by our values, strengths, behaviours and priorities. It shows up in the conversations we have, the things we tolerate, the conversations we avoid, the way we listen and how we make people feel.
There can sometimes be a gap between the leader we intend to be and the leader others experience. Recognising that gap is not about being hard on ourselves. It is about becoming more conscious of the impact we have.
A question worth sitting with:
If my team could describe my leadership shadow honestly, what would they say?
Our intent matters. But our impact tells the real story.
What do you hope people experience when they work with you?
Jane Counsel
Jane Counsel & Associates
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Leadership Coach ⭐️thrive4women 🌻 Facilitator 👋Consultant💡 Social karaoke singer🎤 avid traveller
I provide the following services;
Executive Coaching for individuals and teams - performance, career transition, developmental, inclusive leaders and teams,
Inclusive Leadership - training, coaching and consulting
Unconscious Bias - training and coaching
Flexible and blended working for leaders and teams
Customer Centric Design for Inclusion
Leading in a VUCA World training and coaching
Inclusio
A week on from the launch of the 2026 cohort of ANZ Australia’s Doyenne Program and I’m still buzzing.
What an amazing and inspiring group of female brokers. It truly is a privilege to walk beside you on your journey this year.
Our first session last week on Strengths, Purpose and leveraging AI as a business growth partner, unlocked a number of lightbulb moments for so many participants.
I can’t wait to continue that experience today in our next Masterclass on Brand, Marketing and Community.
As the participants know, these sessions are intentionally curated to meet every individual broker where they are at and to help them build a business and brand that reflects who they really are.
And I certainly don’t do standard, today’s session is designed to help every broker bring their unique brand identity and story to life. Part of that is recognising what are those “moments” that bring their unique purpose to life for their customers.
Ultimately customers don’t experience your business purpose because you wrote it on your website.
They experience it through the moments you create for them in your interactions every day.
I can’t wait to get started.
thrive4women
Jane Counsel
Just back from a wonderful few days in Melbourne, a great combination of work and time with friends and clients I genuinely value.
As I travelled home, I realised the greatest takeaway wasn’t what I’d achieved - it was how I felt.
The people we spend time with leave a residue, they shape our energy, our thinking and quietly affect how we show up in the world.
Choose the people who leave you feeling more hopeful, more courageous and more yourself.
Because who you surround yourself with ultimately shapes who you become.
Jane Counsel Ash Pakis Niti Bhargava Mipa Afa flew
06/07/2026
Last Wednesday night, I got up in front of a room of businesspeople at the CBD Sydney Chamber and talked about my personal journey over the past 8 months and what I’ve learnt about boundaries, identity and self-worth.
It was raw, it was emotional, it was vulnerable.
Alongside Cathy Dimarchos HFTGN and Marcela Acosta, I participated in a heartfelt workshop on decision mindset, boundaries and conscious collaboration, deliberately designed to encourage the kind of authentic conversations not heard enough in workplaces and businesses.
One thing that came up in the conversation that has lingered with me ever since, is one question: What are you prepared to give up to become more of who you really are?
It’s a simple question, but in reality, a hard one for so many of us to answer.
In my experience, the question is just the starting point. The answer comes from understanding what things we are emotionally attached to and releasing the parts of our identity that no longer align with our truth.
For me, this has required me to release unhealthy identifies tied to profound grief and loss in my early 20s, to let go of self-sabotaging views around worth and value, to question the ambition I was chasing rather than consciously choosing, to loosen my grip on relationships and friendships that no longer reflect my values and to redefine my life on my own terms.
I've come to believe that many of us aren't attached to our circumstances as much as to what they represent. That has required me to sit in enormous moments of discomfort and vulnerability, but the emotion I shared in the room last week, reflected the profound sense of freedom, happiness and relief I now feel.
Sometimes we hold onto careers that make us feel important, relationships that make us feel chosen, business that proves we've made it, being THE dependable friend that makes us feel needed, the assets that make the hard work feel worth it, or the expensive house in the address that signals that we’ve made it.
I understand now why answering that simple question can be so hard.
True alignment to who we really are and what makes us happy in life can feel like losing a part of ourselves.
However, aligning your life with your values is not asking you to become someone new. It's asking you to have the courage to stop holding onto the versions of yourself that no longer serve you.
My journey is shaping the way I now coach, the way I facilitate leadership programs and, ultimately, the way I see leadership itself.
The greatest privilege of my work is creating the space for people to reconnect with who they really are. The leader you become, the business you build and the life you create will never be more authentic than the relationship you have with yourself.
So, I'll leave you with the same simple question: What are you prepared to give up to become more of who you really are?
What a fun night. Congratulations to all the winners and finalists.
See you in Melbourne next month.
Lesson #2 from 10 years of coaching.
The answer you seek is always already there.
The biggest misconception about coaching is that coaches provide all the answers.
More often than not, the answer you seek from coaching isn’t something you need to find, it’s something you need to trust.
What might shift in your life or career if you started making intentional decisions from a place of trust not performance?
Lesson #1 from 10 Years of Coaching
The real work is always the internal work.
For years, I thought this was something I saw in my clients.
Over the past eight months, I've realised it's also been true for me.
Like many people, I became focused on the external:
✔ Building a business
✔ Supporting others
✔ Meeting expectations
✔ Chasing goals
✔ Taking care of everyone else
But somewhere along the way, I lost connection with myself.
Over the past 8 months, I've been reconnecting with my values, challenging old patterns and beliefs, strengthening my boundaries and asking myself some uncomfortable but important questions about who I am and what truly brings me joy.
What I've learned is this:
Many of the external challenges my clients bring to coaching are rarely the issue.
Beneath the challenge often sits:
✨ Fear
✨ Misalignment
✨ Loss of identity
✨ Questions of worth
✨ Disconnection from self
The external challenge may start the coaching conversation.
But the internal work is what creates lasting change, peace and fulfilment.
What I've come to realise as a coach is that by continuing to embody the internal work I've been doing on myself is the best gift I can give to my clients.
❤️ Because we can't guide others somewhere we're unwilling to go ourselves.
09/06/2026
Incredibly proud to support this program and help build the leadership and impact of leaders in Fiji supporting businesses and industries across Australia and America.
An engaged and supportive community of leaders who I know will continue to pay forward their learnings and insights for years to come.
thrive4women
08/06/2026
As I have reflected on the last decade of coaching, I've realised there are a handful of lessons that continue to show up time and time again.
It doesn't matter who the client is, the lessons are always the same.
The real work with coaching is always the internal work which you have to be ready to do. The answers we seek are often already within us, we are usually just seeking permission to act.
And growth happens when we're willing to get curious, honest and courageous.
I'm incredibly grateful for every leader, business owner and professional who has trusted me with their story, challenges, hopes and dreams over the past 10 years.
Being invited into those conversations is something I never take for granted.
Here are my 10 biggest coaching lessons from the journey so far.
I'd love to hear yours.
What's one lesson life has taught you that you'll never forget?
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