Stanja Buvac

When tension appears, we want it gone.
When we’re anxious, we want to calm down.
When something frustrates us, we want to stop feeling frustrated.
So naturally, we reach for something that might make the feeling disappear.

But if something keeps returning, I’d become interested in the pattern, not only the symptom.

Here are three places to start:

1. What am I actually feeling?
Not just “I’m stressed.”
Is your jaw tight? Breathing shallow? Are you restless, heavy, irritable? Is your mind racing?
Being specific helps you recognise your own early signs, before they become overwhelming.

2. When does it appear?
After certain conversations? When you’re rushing? Around particular people? When you’ve taken too much on? When you finally stop?
This can reveal what triggers or contributes to the pattern and where you may need different boundaries, choices or support.

3. What changes it?
What makes it stronger? What helps it soften?
Movement? Food? Rest? Breathing differently? Leaving the situation? Speaking up? Being alone or connecting with someone?

This teaches you what genuinely supports you, rather than automatically reaching for the same solution every time.

Over time, those three observations can help you recognise:
what affects you, what you need and what actually helps.
So when something keeps returning, don’t only ask how to get rid of it.
Ask what it might be telling you.

Maybe you’re taking on too much.
Maybe a boundary keeps being crossed.
Maybe you’re not recovering between demanding periods.
Maybe a particular situation or relationship consistently affects you.

When you understand the pattern, you can respond to what’s contributing to it rather than only trying to make the symptom disappear.

✨ Save these three questions for the next time something familiar shows up. ✨

How many Friday nights have you reached the end of the week and thought:

I am done.

Your body is tired.
Your head is still full of everything that happened during the week and by the time you finally stop, you don’t have much left for yourself or the weekend you’ve been waiting for.

So here’s a question worth asking before automatically deciding what you need:

How do I want to feel afterwards?
Not just what do I feel like doing right now?
How do I want to feel when I go to bed?
How do I want to wake up the next morning?
What would help me arrive at the weekend with something left in the tank?

For next Thursday’s Restorative Breathwork & Sound Healing evening, I’ve created space for that so people can arrive exactly as they are.
I’ll gradually guide them through restorative movement, breathwork and into the sounds and vibrations of crystal singing bowls.
Nothing to work out. Nothing to achieve.
Just 90 minutes where someone else holds the structure and people get to follow.

The intention is that they leave with a quieter mind, less tension in the body, easier breathing and some of the energy back so people don’t simply collapse into the weekend.
They actually get to enjoy it.

🌿 Restorative Breathwork & Sound Healing on Thursday, 3 September is now sold out.

But if you’d love a complete body and mind reset before the Christmas rush takes over, I’ve just opened bookings for the next session on Thursday, 10 December.

✨ Link in bio to reserve your spot.

You finish the day exhausted.
You know a walk would probably help or some movement.

A few minutes with your breath. An early night.
Maybe even going somewhere where someone else guides you and you don’t have to think about anything.

But you’re tired so the sofa wins.
The phone comes out. One episode becomes three and somehow you don’t feel particularly restored afterwards.

When we’re depleted, we naturally gravitate towards whatever asks the least of us right now.
But there’s a useful distinction I’ve learned to make:

What feels easiest right now?
AND
What will actually leave me feeling better afterwards?

They’re not always the same thing.
Next time you’re exhausted and deciding what you need, ask yourself:

How do I want to feel an hour from now?
Then choose from there.

Sometimes it will genuinely be the sofa.
Sometimes it will be getting outside, moving your body, breathing differently, going to bed or allowing someone else to guide you into rest.

And if what you’ve been craving is the latter, there is one place remaining for next Thursday’s Restorative Breathwork & Sound Healing evening.

90 minutes where you don’t have to decide what comes next.
I’ll guide you through it.

Thursday 3 September · 7pm
River Canoe Club, Marrickville

🌿 One place left. Link in bio to book.

Sometimes the size of our reaction doesn’t seem to match what’s actually happening.

Someone makes a comment and you can’t stop thinking about it.
A small disagreement leaves you upset for hours.
Someone doesn’t reply and your mind immediately starts creating a story around it.

Our first instinct can be to focus on the reaction itself:

Why am I reacting like this?
Why can’t I just let it go?

But the reaction may be giving you useful information.
Next time you notice one, try these three questions before immediately trying to change it:

1. What actually happened and what did I make it mean?
Separate the event from your interpretation of it. They haven’t replied is different from they’re ignoring me because I’ve done something wrong.

2. What feels familiar about this?
Have you felt this same frustration, fear, anger or need to withdraw in other situations? Sometimes today’s reaction belongs to a pattern that’s been around much longer than today’s event.

3. What am I needing right now?
A boundary? Reassurance? Space? More information? A conversation? Time before responding? Understanding the need underneath the reaction can help you decide what to actually do next.

You don’t have to analyse every emotion you have.
But when the same reaction keeps appearing, getting curious about it can tell you far more than simply trying to make it disappear.

Sometimes the reaction isn’t the problem to solve.
It’s information that can help you understand the problem better.

Save these three questions for the next time something gets under your skin. ✨

If your body is tired but your mind won’t stop, this evening was created for you.

Rest isn’t always something we can access simply because we’ve decided it’s time to relax.

When you’ve spent the whole day thinking, doing, responding and moving from one thing to the next, the transition into rest can take time.
So rather than expecting you to suddenly switch off, I guide you there gradually.

We move from the body, to the breath, to the quieter layers of the mind.

First, the body.
Gentle restorative practice helps release some of the physical tension you’ve been carrying.

Then, the breath.
I guide you through breathing practices designed to gradually slow things down and help your system settle.

Then, the quieter layers of the mind.
Once less is being asked of your body and your breathing has softened, you can receive the vibrations and sounds of the crystal singing bowls from a very different place.

The intention is for you to leave feeling rested, restored, clearer in your mind and lighter in your body.

🌿 Restorative Breathwork & Sound Healing
📅 Thursday 3 September
🕡 7 pm
📍 River Canoe Club, Marrickville

Only 1 place remains and Early Bird closes tonight.

If you’ve been thinking about joining us, this is the time.

✨ Link in bio to reserve your place.

You can sleep through the night and still wake up feeling like you haven’t properly recovered.
Sleep is essential, but it isn’t the only form of rest your body needs.

Think about the difference:

Sleep is something your body does naturally.
Physical rest reduces the demands you’re placing on your body: sitting down, lying down, stopping activity.

Deliberate down-regulation goes another step further.
You intentionally reduce some of the stimulation and activation your system has been carrying throughout the day.
And you don’t have to wait until bedtime to do it.

Try this for 5 minutes today:

Lie down somewhere comfortable.
Put the phone away.
Let your eyes close.

Notice where your body is still holding effort —> jaw, shoulders, hands, belly.
Let your breathing gradually become slower, without forcing it.
And make your exhale a little longer than your inhale if that feels comfortable.

Then stay there.
No podcast. No scrolling. No trying to achieve anything.

Five minutes won’t replace good sleep.
But it gives your body something sleep alone can’t always provide:
a deliberate transition from doing to resting.

And the more often you practise that transition, the easier it becomes to settle, release accumulated tension and recover from the demands of your day.

Try it today and notice how you feel afterwards. 🌿

What I keep noticing in conversations with women around me is how much frustration comes from comparing their body now with the body they had five or ten years ago and wishing it is the same.

As you know, perimenopause and menopause bring hormonal changes that can affect sleep, energy, mood, stress response and recovery.

So rather than expecting your body to keep operating by the same rules, here are three things worth reconsidering and what I recommend to my clients:

1. Stop making sleep responsible for all your recovery.
If you’re waking during the night or not feeling restored in the morning, waiting until bedtime to rest may not be enough. Try adding 10–15 minutes during the day where you’re genuinely not consuming or producing anything, no phone, emails, podcast or multitasking. Lie down, close your eyes, breathe comfortably and give your system less to process.

2. Check your capacity before deciding how you’re going to move.
Before exercising, take 30 seconds and notice: How is my energy? How did I sleep? How does my body actually feel today? Then adjust. That might mean strength or something more active one day, and slower movement, walking or restorative practice another. Consistency doesn’t have to mean doing the same thing at the same intensity.

3. Start planning around your energy, not only your diary.
Notice when your energy is generally better and when it tends to drop. Where possible, put demanding tasks into your better windows and stop filling every lower-energy space with something productive. Your calendar tells you what you have time for; your body tells you whether you have capacity for it.

You don’t need to overhaul your whole life.
Start by noticing where you’re still expecting today’s body to live by yesterday’s rules.

Your body is changing. The way you support it may need to change too. 💖

Save this and try one of these this week.✨

When something is bothering us, the mind can become very good at going around the same problem from twenty different directions.

More analysing. More scenarios. More “but what if…”
And somehow, still no clearer.

When you notice yourself doing this, instead of looking for another answer, try changing the question.

1. What do I actually know to be true right now?
This helps separate what has actually happened from everything your mind is predicting, assuming or filling in.

2. What am I trying to control that isn’t actually mine to control?
Another person’s response? The outcome? Something that hasn’t happened yet?
Notice where your energy is going.

3. What needs my attention right now, not tomorrow, not next week, right now?
This brings a big problem back to the part you can actually respond to.

You may not suddenly have the whole answer but you might have enough clarity to know your next step.
And sometimes, that’s all you need.

Save these three questions for the next time your mind gets stuck in a loop. ✨

You know you need to slow down.
You’ve probably known for a while but there’s always something that needs doing first.

Work. Family. The house.
That email you haven’t answered.

And somehow rest keeps getting moved to later.

The problem with waiting until life becomes less busy is that there will almost always be something else competing for your time.

Sometimes intention isn’t enough. You have to deliberately create the conditions for rest.

That might mean putting your phone away for half an hour.
Leaving one evening unscheduled.
Going to bed earlier.

Or actually putting rest in your calendar and treating that time with the same importance as everything else you show up for.

So, if you’ve been saying “I really need to slow down”, here’s an opportunity to actually do it.

🌿 Restorative Breathwork & Sound Healing
📅 Thursday 3 September
🕡 7 pm
📍 River Canoe Club, Marrickville

An evening after work to slow your breathing, release accumulated tension, quiet your mind and give your whole system time to settle.

One week of Early Bird remaining and a few spots left.
✨ Link in bio to reserve your place.