Reclaim Self by Ashok - Finding Your Why & Align

𝗧𝗼𝗽 𝟭𝟬 𝗱𝗿𝘂𝗴𝘀 𝗶𝗳 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗰𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗲𝗱.
Money - Get more, even when enough is enough.
Social Media - Attention, validation, comparison.
Sugar - Pleasure, convenience, craving.
Politics - Identity, fear, being right.
Alcohol - Escape, celebration, numbness.
Pharmaceuticals - A pill for every problem.
Gambling - Hope of getting more.
Beauty - The feeling of never being enough.
Convenience - Avoiding discomfort at every turn.
Self-Improvement - Always becoming, rarely being.

𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘥𝘳𝘶𝘨 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘭𝘭:
𝘚𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 - too much stuff, avoiding from self.🥲

Who Called You Lazy?

Have you ever actually felt lazy? I mean, really felt it as an experience in your body? We feel tired. We feel bored. We feel overwhelmed. We feel unmotivated. We feel sad, anxious, disconnected or sometimes we simply don’t feel like doing something. But do we actually feel “lazy”?

I started wondering about this because the word lazy seems to have become a convenient label for so many different experiences. Somewhere along the way, someone decided that not doing something meant you were lazy. Maybe it was a parent, a teacher, a boss, a partner, or perhaps eventually, ourselves.

“You are so lazy.”

“Why can’t you just get up and do it?”

“You are wasting your potential.”

We hear these things often enough and eventually we don’t need anyone else to say them. We say them to ourselves.

I didn’t exercise today. I am lazy.

I haven’t replied to that email. I am lazy.

I spent the morning doing nothing. I am lazy.

I don’t feel motivated. I am lazy.

And something quite interesting happens when we use that label. We stop being curious about what is actually going on.

If I am tired, I might need rest. If I am overwhelmed, perhaps I need to simplify things. If I am demotivated, maybe something I am doing no longer has meaning for me. If I am anxious, perhaps there is something I am avoiding. If I am depressed, I may need support.

But if I am “lazy”, then the problem becomes me.

And that is where I think the word can become quite damaging.

We start pushing ourselves when we actually need to listen. We shame ourselves when we need compassion. We compare ourselves with others and wonder why we can’t seem to get our act together.

Perhaps this is one of the quieter forms of self abandonment. We stop listening to what is happening inside us because we have already decided what it means.

Maybe the next time you catch yourself saying, “I am being lazy”, stop for a moment.

Ask yourself, “What am I actually experiencing right now?”

You might be surprised by the answer.

Maybe you don’t need more discipline.

Maybe you need rest. Maybe you need clarity. Maybe you need to change something. Maybe you need help.

Or maybe you simply need to stop calling yourself lazy long enough to hear what you are really trying to tell yourself. reclaimself.com.au

I work mostly with mid age women who are generally doing okay. Busy, capable, responsible. Running businesses, leading teams, raising kids, looking after everyone else.

Then somewhere along the way, they start wondering, “Is this really what I want?”

It can show up as a work problem, relationship issue, feeling stuck, or just a sense that something isn't quite right.

Usually, there is more going on underneath.

My work is about creating some space to stop, look at what's really happening, and understand what you actually want — not what you think you should want.

I’m Ashok Alexander, founder of Reclaim Self. After two decades in business, a business comeback and a 4,000+ km solo walk across Australia, I found my way into coaching, meditation, breathwork, Ayurveda and somatic practice.

I don't have all the answers. I have some good questions, a few tools, and plenty of experience of getting it wrong myself.

If any of that sounds familiar, happy to have a chat. https://tidycal.com/reclaimself/30-min-meeting

The new site is live! 🎉

Have a look, try the free tests, and take a moment to reflect on what you discover about yourself.

You can also book a 30-minute chat so we can see if our vibes match—and whether my tools and perspective can bring a different lens to whatever you’re navigating.

Would love to connect.

Reclaim Self Let’s walk deeper. Start opening on what matters from the very first meeting. And see meaningful progress within the initial few months.

When We Realise We Don’t Have the Vocabulary for Abundance

There is an interesting stage in personal growth that we don’t talk about much. We do the inner work. We become more aware of ourselves, understand our patterns, let go of old beliefs and become less reactive. Then, somewhere along the way, we discover something surprising: we don’t actually have the vocabulary for the life we want to create.

We have become very good at talking about problems. We know words like stress, risk, failure, competition, scarcity, control and survival. We know how to identify what could go wrong. But when someone asks, “What would an abundant life look like for you?”, we sometimes struggle to answer.

It’s not necessarily because we don’t want abundance. Perhaps we simply haven’t practised imagining it.

Our mind becomes fluent in whatever we repeatedly experience. Someone who has spent years dealing with uncertainty may become extremely good at spotting risks. Someone who has experienced disappointment may become very good at protecting themselves from disappointment. These can be useful skills. They may even have helped us survive and succeed.

But the same skills can eventually become a filter through which we see everything.

We become very good at avoiding loss, but beginners at imagining possibility.

Scarcity has a surprisingly sophisticated vocabulary. “That’s not realistic.” “We don’t have enough time.” “People won’t pay that.” “I’ve tried that before.” “What if it doesn’t work?” “Let’s be practical.” Sometimes these statements are completely sensible. The problem is when they become our automatic language.

We start asking, “What can I afford?” before asking, “What do I actually want?”

We ask, “What’s possible with what I have?” rather than “What could become possible if I expanded what I have?”

Abundance doesn’t mean ignoring reality. It means not allowing today’s reality to become the boundary of tomorrow’s imagination.

This often becomes visible as we grow. Much of our early personal development is about removing things: limiting beliefs, unhealthy patterns, fear, resentment, unnecessary commitments and identities that no longer fit. That work is important. But eventually, we create space and realise we don’t know what to put into it.

That’s where abundance begins.

Not necessarily with having more, but with being able to imagine more.

We begin developing a different vocabulary: possibility, enough, generosity, play, ease, receiving, opportunity, creativity, trust, collaboration, joy, contribution and wonder.

Instead of asking, “How do I protect what I have?”, we begin asking, “What could I create?”

Instead of, “What if I fail?”, we might ask, “What might I discover?”

Instead of, “Who might take something from me?”, we can ask, “Who could I create something with?”

This doesn’t mean becoming unrealistically positive. Abundance isn’t pretending everything is wonderful when it isn’t. It is being able to hold two truths at the same time:

“This is difficult.”

and

“There are still possibilities here.”

One simple way to develop this is to start listening to our own language. When we catch ourselves saying, “I can’t,” “We don’t have,” “That’s impossible,” or “People won’t…”, we don’t need to replace it with some artificial positive statement. Instead, we can simply ask:

“What else might be true?”

That question creates space.

We can also practise asking better questions. Instead of “What’s wrong?”, ask “What’s possible?” Instead of “How do I fix this?”, ask “What is this trying to teach me?” Instead of “What am I missing?”, ask “What resources do I already have that I’m not using?”

And perhaps one of the most overlooked parts of abundance is learning to receive.

Someone gives you a compliment. Instead of saying, “Oh, it was nothing,” simply say, “Thank you.” Someone offers help. Instead of automatically saying, “I’ve got it,” try saying, “Thank you, I’d appreciate that.”

Abundance isn’t only the ability to give.

It is also the ability to receive without guilt.

Over time, we can also start collecting evidence. Notice the unexpected opportunities, the people who helped, the problems we solved, the setbacks that eventually opened another door. Our brain needs experiences, not just affirmations. Slowly, we build a new internal database that says:

“Life doesn’t always work against me. There are possibilities I cannot yet see.”

Perhaps eventually abundance becomes less about money, possessions or opportunities and more about our relationship with life.

We become less obsessed with controlling every outcome. We can give without immediately calculating what we’ll receive. We can celebrate someone else’s success without experiencing it as evidence of our own lack. We can change direction without calling the previous direction a failure.

And perhaps the deepest form of abundance is this:

Being able to imagine a future that isn’t simply a slightly improved version of our past.

So maybe the question isn’t, “How do I become more abundant?”

Maybe it’s:

“What would I imagine if I wasn’t limited to the vocabulary I’ve learned from my past?”

Sometimes the next stage of growth isn’t learning another technique.

It’s discovering that the language we use to describe our lives can quietly become the boundary of the life we believe is possible.✌️

Recent Interview with Shilpa, about my coaching journey & the growth.

Interview with Ashok, Talking about his coaching journey and the growth. This channel is for people who have tried — the wellness, the thera...