Get Unstuck with Vicki

When life changes, I think we can put enormous pressure on ourselves to figure everything out.

The new routine.

The new schedule.

The new version of ourselves.

But sometimes that pressure is exactly what makes it harder to begin.

So here's a little practice for those moments.

Stop.

Put your feet on the floor.

Take a breath.

And instead of asking:

“What should I be doing?”

try asking:

“What feels possible today?”

Not perfect.

Not optimal.

Not what you used to be capable of.

Just what is possible today.

That might be movement.

It might be rest.

It might be a walk around the block.

It might be doing half the session you planned.

The point isn't to create another rule.

It's to practise staying in relationship with yourself while things are changing.

You don't have to force your way back into your old life.

You can gently find your way into the new one. 🫶

This reflection comes directly from the theme of my latest blog, “When Life Changes and You Can't Find Your Old Rhythm.”

🌿 The blog is on my website if you'd like to read it.

think this is one worth saving.

Because there are so many moments in midlife when it feels like we're somehow falling behind.

Behind the woman we used to be.

Behind our old fitness levels.

Behind the routine we thought we'd have figured out by now.

But life isn't a straight line.

Sometimes you lose fitness.

Sometimes you have to start again.

Sometimes your body asks for something different.

Sometimes the routine that once felt effortless suddenly doesn't fit.

That doesn't erase everything you've learned.

It doesn't mean you've failed.

And it certainly doesn't mean you've lost your way.

Sometimes you're simply being asked to build something that fits this version of your life.

And perhaps that version will suit you better than the old one ever did. 🌿

This one is a little more personal.

I've found the loss of my routine harder than I expected.

Not because I don't know what to do.

I do.

It's because my old routine carried me.

I didn't have to make so many decisions about movement, food, mornings, the shape of my day.

It just... happened.

And when that disappeared, I realised how much energy that rhythm had been giving me.

Since moving, I've been trying to rebuild it.

But I've also had to accept that I can't simply pick up the old version of my life and put it back together.

My body has changed.

My circumstances have changed.

And some days, my capacity is different.

So I'm practising something I talk about with my clients all the time:

responding to what is actually here.

Not what I think should be here.

Not where I was two months ago.

Not where I think I ought to be by now.

Just here.

Today.

And finding the next small piece of the rhythm.

Maybe you've been doing something similar without realising it. 🫶

If this resonated for you I write more about this in my weekly Journal entry on my website. ✍🏼

I think we put so much pressure on ourselves to get back to normal.

Back to the routine.

Back to the fitness level.

Back to the energy.

Back to the version of ourselves who seemed to have everything working.

But what if that version of you belonged to a different life?

Different responsibilities.

Different body.

Different energy.

Different circumstances.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately as I've tried to find my own rhythm again after moving interstate.

I could keep trying to recreate what used to work.

Or I can get curious about what works now.

And honestly, I think that's a much more useful question.

Because consistency doesn't have to mean doing what you've always done.

Sometimes it means listening closely enough to create something new.

You are not behind.

You're adapting.

And there's a difference. 🌿

If this resonated for you I write more about this in my weekly Journal entry on my website. ✍🏼

This is something I come back to often.

Especially when that old voice appears:

You should be doing more.

You're not working hard enough.

Make it count.

Instead, pause.

Take a breath.

And notice what is actually here.

Maybe you have plenty of energy today.

Maybe you don't.

Maybe you need the full session.

Maybe you need to modify it.

Maybe today is a lighter day.

None of those choices need to become a judgement about you.

The practice is learning to respond rather than automatically override.

That's not weakness.

That's a form of self-care. 🌿

I think this is one of the most freeing things we can learn in midlife:

You are allowed to care about your body without making your body a problem.

You can want to lose weight.

You can want to build muscle.

You can want more energy.

You can want to feel confident in your clothes.

You can want better mobility.

And none of those desires require you to believe that the woman you are today is somehow less worthy.

For me, that distinction matters enormously.

Because I'm not interested in helping women build smaller lives in smaller bodies.

I'm interested in helping women build strength, confidence, energy and capacity for the life they actually want to live.

That's a very different kind of fitness. 🌿

Lately I've been thinking about how much of the fitness industry I grew up in was built around punishment.

And I was part of it.

I believed in pushing.

I believed that you never regretted a workout.

I believed that if something was hard, it was probably doing me good.

I've had to unlearn a lot of that.

Not because I stopped believing in strength or challenging the body.

But because I eventually learned that how we challenge ourselves matters.

There is a difference between asking your body to grow and making your body pay for something.

These days, I want strength that gives me more life.

More capacity.

More independence.

More freedom to actually enjoy being here.

That feels like a much better reason to move. 🌿

I think many of us are carrying an old relationship with exercise that we didn't consciously choose.

Move because you ate too much.

Work harder because you've gained weight.

Don't stop because you're tired.

Make up for yesterday.

And then we wonder why exercise can feel emotionally exhausting before we've even begun.

Midlife gives us an opportunity to question some of that.

What if movement wasn't something you did to your body?

What if it was something you did for your body?

Strength for the stairs.

Mobility for the years ahead.

Movement because you want to feel capable and alive in your own life.

That's a very different relationship with fitness.

And honestly, I think it's one worth growing into. 🌿

Many women have spent years treating their bodies like something to manage, override, or push through.

So slowing down can feel deeply uncomfortable at first.

Almost suspicious.

But your body often responds best when it feels safe enough to soften.

Not because you’re “doing less.”
But because you’re no longer fighting yourself while you do it.

Sometimes regulation begins with something very small:

One slower breath.
One unclenched jaw.
One moment of not forcing 🌿

I used to believe more was always better.

More intensity.
More effort.
More pushing through.

Then my body stopped cooperating completely.

During my years with chronic fatigue syndrome, even a 10-minute warm-up could flatten me.

And what I discovered, very reluctantly at first, was that gentler wasn’t “less.”

It was the first thing my body could actually respond to.

I think many women over 45 quietly carry this fear that if movement feels calm, it can’t possibly be effective.

But often, calm is exactly why it is effective.

I wrote more about this in my latest blog if this question has been sitting quietly underneath your workouts too 🌿