Zena Jean Christian Coaching

Living on Purpose: You Can’t Live Who You Are If You Don’t Know Who You Are

Who are you?

It sounds like such a simple question.

Yet take away your job title, your relationship status, your family role, your achievements, your responsibilities and even the things that have happened to you — and suddenly it can become incredibly difficult to answer.

We’ve become very good at answering what we do.

I’m a mum / dad.
I’m a wife / husband.
I’m single.
I’m divorced.
I’m a business owner.
I’m a leader.
I’m a carer.
I’m retired.'
I’m a teacher.

But I didn’t ask what you do.

I asked who you are.

And I believe this is where living on purpose has to begin.

We often go searching for our purpose by asking, “What am I supposed to do with my life?”

Perhaps we’re starting with the wrong question.

Because purpose isn’t just about what you do.

It flows from knowing who you are.

As a Christian coach, this is the space I keep coming back to:

Identity before activity.
Being before doing.

Before we start chasing the next role, calling, achievement or opportunity, perhaps we need to come back to the beginning.

Who am I?

Because you can’t intentionally live as the person you were created to be if you don’t know who that person is.

And that is where Living on Purpose begins. 🌿

Maybe you’ve never really unpacked that space.

Maybe no one has ever asked you to put down the titles, the roles, the expectations and the things that have happened to you — and discover who you are underneath them all.

Perhaps it’s time.

Over the coming weeks, I’m opening up a new Living on Purpose space for women — grounded in Christian identity and explored through coaching, conversation and practical reflection.

A space to discover who you are, what you carry, what may be keeping you stuck, and how to move forward with purpose.

Living on Purpose — coming soon. 🌿

If this sounds like something you’d love to be part of, type ‘who am I’ in the comments or DM me.

This morning I felt to stop what I was reading and led to read Ecclesiastes.

Only two chapters in, I found myself stopping to think.

King Solomon had everything most spend lives pursuing—wisdom, wealth, success, influence and achievement. Yet he repeatedly describes it as “chasing after the wind.”

Not because those things are wrong, but because they make a poor foundation for life.

So let me ask you a coaching question…

Be completely honest with yourself.

What are you chasing?

Money?

Success?

Recognition?

A relationship?

Security?

Influence?

The approval of others?

Now ask yourself one more question:

If you achieved that tomorrow, would it truly answer the question, “Who am I?”

Or would there simply be another mountain to climb?

This is why every coaching journey I take begins with one question before we ever talk about goals, purpose or dreams:

Who are you?

Because until we know who we are and whose we are, we’ll spend our lives looking for identity in things that can never truly satisfy.

Ecclesiastes isn’t telling us life has no meaning.

It’s reminding us that everything else becomes meaningful when our identity is rooted in God.

⭐️Identity brings freedom. ⭐️Freedom releases purpose.
⭐️Purpose creates impact.

If you’ve never read Ecclesiastes, I’d encourage you to start today. It might just be the freedom your soul has been looking for.

Know who you are. Know whose you are. Build your life on a foundation that never changes—and let everything else flow from there.

Gratitude ❤️
More snippets 📖

As a child, I loved watching the cartoon, Mr Benn. He would step into a changing room and come out as someone different.

What if the valley is God’s changing room?

Not because we glorify pain, disappointment or hardship—but because we glorify the God who transforms us through them.

So often we ask, “How do I get out of this?”

Perhaps a better question is, “Lord, what are You wanting to change in me while I’m here?”

Teaching on identity this week reminded me how easily our focus can stay on I.

I am righteous.
I am chosen.
I am loved.
I am saved.
…and so on.

Every one of those statements is true.
But perhaps we need to shift the lens.

Because of Him, I am.

Because of Him, I am righteous.
Because of Him, I am chosen.
Because of Him, I am loved.
Because of Him, I am saved.

It’s the same truth, but a completely different focus.

This week I asked a friend, “What would the five-years-older version of you say to the you of today?”

I think it’s a question worth sitting with.

Not to force change, but to notice where I may have quietly become greater than He.

Proverbs 16:9 reminds us, “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” Proverbs 16:33 (NLT) echoes the same truth: “We may throw the dice, but the Lord determines how they fall.”

We don’t stop planning. We don’t stop growing. We don’t stop stepping forward in faith.

We boldly make decisions, even when we don’t fully know the outcome.

But we do let go of trying to control the outcome.

Because when we cling too tightly to what we think should happen, we often lose the joy of the journey God is inviting us into.

If the outcome ultimately belongs to Him, how much of our striving is really necessary?

Five years from now, will you look back and remember all the striving? Or will you thank God that you shifted your lens and allowed Him to transform you, by His grace and for His glory?

Christian coaching isn’t about having all the answers.

It’s about creating space to reflect, grow, and gently shift the lens back to Jesus.

So today, don’t unpack your bags and camp in the valley.
Allow God to use the valley as the changing room.

Coaching question: Where in your life do you need to shift your focus from I to He?

There are moments in life that shake us.

Moments that challenge us, cause us to question ourselves, question others, and sometimes even question God.

I’ve certainly had those moments.

Like so many people I meet, we wrestled with the questions:
What’s next?
How do I change?
Which path should I take?

As I prepare to speak on identity, I’ve realised how easy it is to become consumed with the what next questions, while overlooking the what now.

Scripture never tells us that our identity or worth is determined by our success. It never suggests that having everything together is the measure of faithfulness.

Instead, the Bible tells us something far deeper.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” - 2 Corinthians 5:17

When we place our faith in Christ, we aren’t simply given a second chance to clean ourselves up. We are made new. We receive a completely new identity.

Yet often the people I coach ask the same questions:
“What’s my purpose?”
“How do I change?”

They’re good questions. Honest questions. I doubt there’s a person alive who hasn’t asked them.

But what if there’s more to life than constantly achieving?

What if the world’s obsession with doing more has quietly shaped the way we see ourselves?

What if the deepest transformation happens, not in striving, but in abiding?

Now don’t get me wrong.
Passivity really irks me.
Abiding isn’t the same as doing nothing.

Throughout Scripture we see God inviting people to move—to step out in faith, to serve, to love, to build, to create, to disciple and to use the gifts He has given them. Even our bodies were designed for movement. Muscles weaken when they’re not used. Nature itself is constantly growing, stretching towards the light and producing new life.

But here’s the difference.

Nature doesn’t grow so it can prove its worth.

A tree doesn’t strive to become an apple tree. It already is one. It bears fruit because of its identity, not in order to earn one.

Jesus said, “Remain in me… and you will bear much fruit” - John 15:4-5

Notice the order.

Abiding comes first.

Fruit follows.

Our culture reverses it. It tells us to produce first, achieve more, work harder, build a bigger platform, and then perhaps we’ll feel like we’ve become someone.

There’s nothing wrong with growth, promotion or success.
But they’re terrible places to build an identity.

Because when success becomes our identity, we’ll spend our lives chasing the next achievement instead of enjoying the presence of the One who gave us our identity in the first place.

Perhaps beneath all the noise is a quieter longing in so many. A longing to find the peace to simply become who we were created to be.
To step off the relentless treadmill of performance.

To breathe.

To slow down.

Coaching isn’t simply about discovering what’s next or achieving another goal.

Sometimes the greatest gift is creating space.

Space to think.

Space to process.

Space to be seen.

Space to notice where God is already at work.

Because we were never created to be human doings. We were created to be human beings.

Life will still stretch us. It will still leave us with questions and moments of uncertainty.

But when our identity is rooted in Christ, we always have somewhere to stand.

We don’t need all the answers to know who we are.

That’s what abiding really is—not having life all figured out, but resting in the One who already knows.

Sometimes we place our calling inside a box.

A church.
A job.
A ministry.
A title.

But God rarely works within the limits we create.

Our calling isn’t a place—it’s who He has created us to be. Wherever we go, our calling goes with us.

I wonder how often we expect God to move only in the spaces that feel familiar, while He is quietly preparing something beyond what we can currently see.

What keeps us in the box?

Fear of failure.
Loyalty to what has always been.
That’s mine mentality.
Comfort.
Lack of time.
Uncertainty.
Sometimes even our identity.

When our identity is rooted in what we do, or where we serve, stepping into something new can feel like we’re losing part of ourselves. But when our identity is rooted in Christ, we become free to follow wherever He leads.

The unknown will always feel uncomfortable. Human nature prefers certainty over challenge. Yet it is often just beyond our comfort zone that God grows our faith, broadens our perspective, and opens doors we never imagined.

The beautiful thing is this: when the calling is God-given, we don’t have to force it. We simply walk with Him, remain available, and faithfully take the next step.

Paul reminds us:

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” — Epistle to the Ephesians 2:10

What if God has already prepared opportunities that you simply haven’t discovered yet?

Not because you’ve done something wrong.
Not because you’ve missed His will.
But because He’s inviting you to trust Him one step at a time.

Today, take five quiet minutes and reflect:

• Where do I feel most stuck?

• Have I placed my calling inside a box?

• If I believed God had already prepared good works ahead of me, what possibilities would I become more open to?

• What is one small step I could take this week to make myself available to whatever God has waiting?

Don’t box your calling.

Don’t box God’s possibilities.

There may be more waiting for you than you ever imagined.