Baxter Cricket Club

🚨 GOOD MORNING BAXTER… IT’S 5AM AND YOU HAVE 12 HOURS LEFT 🚨
If you want your merch or playing gear BEFORE the season starts, you have until:

🕔 5pm TODAY

After that, you’ll be turning up to Round 1 looking like a community service worker who wandered onto the field by accident.

And let’s be brutally honest:
Some of you are only just now remembering that your playing gear is still rotting in your bag from last season —
the shirt that could strip paint,
the socks that have achieved spiritual enlightenment,
the bat that’s basically a stick you found behind the shed.

If you don’t order today, your new gear won’t arrive until after the season starts, and you’ll be out there looking like a cautionary tale for future generations.

👉 Shop link:
https://www.playhq.com/cricket-australia/org/baxter-cricket-club/cf16bbc8/shop

This is it.
No excuses.
No extensions.
No sympathy.
Order now before your teammates start a petition to ban you from being seen in public.

🚨 FINAL REMINDER FOR MERCH & PLAYING GEAR 🚨
If you want your Baxter gear BEFORE the season starts, this is it.
No more gentle nudges. No more friendly reminders.
Just cold, hard truth:

🕔 Orders close 5pm Sunday
Miss it… and you’ll be rocking up to Round 1 looking like a walking cautionary tale.

And let’s be real — some of you only just opened your kit bag today and discovered:

🔵last season’s shirt that could peel paint
🟡socks that have achieved sentience
🔵a bat that’s basically firewood
🟡and absolutely nothing fit for human eyes

If you don’t order now, your fresh gear won’t arrive until after the season starts, and you’ll be out there looking like you got dressed in the dark at Vinnies.

👉 Shop link:
https://www.playhq.com/cricket-australia/org/baxter-cricket-club/cf16bbc8/shop

This is your final warning.
Order. Now. Before your teammates start a GoFundMe for your dignity.

💛💙 LADY RAZORBAX 💙💛
💛💙 PRE‑SEASON: SEVERE WEATHER WARNING ISSUED 💙💛
Attention Baxter community, innocent bystanders, and anyone who values their personal safety:

Pre‑season TODAY, 4pm–5pm at Jubilee Park Stadium.
Authorities have not officially declared it a disaster zone............ yet…
But they’re watching. Closely.

If you’ve ever wanted to try cricket, meet new people, or witness a group of women collectively ignore the concept of “warm up properly,” this is your golden opportunity.
New players, returning players, chaos tourists — come down and have a try.
We promise nothing except entertainment and mild emotional damage.

🌪️ EXPECTED CONDITIONS INCLUDE:
🔵Wind gusts of 120km/h generated solely by someone swinging a bat like they’re fighting off a demon
🟡Unpredictable ball trajectories that defy physics, logic, and three separate safety guidelines
🔵Sudden outbreaks of cardio, usually followed by immediate regret
🟡A rogue player doing drills that look like they’re summoning ancient spirits
🔵A team huddle that somehow becomes a gossip session AND a tactical meeting AND a therapy circle
🟡Rampage and Riot observing from the clouds like a disappointed weather god
🔵Someone yelling “WHY ARE MY LEGS DOING THAT?” while running in a direction they did not choose
🟡A level of enthusiasm that could power the Frankston train line for a week

🌩️ WHO SHOULD COME?
💙Anyone who wants to try cricket
💛Anyone who wants to laugh
💙Anyone who wants to witness chaos in its purest form
💛Anyone who enjoys the thrill of dodging flying objects
💙Anyone who thinks “I’ll just come for a look” and ends up doing fielding drills against their will

Bring water. Bring snacks. Bring emotional resilience.
Maybe bring a helmet. Maybe bring insurance.

🐗🐗Up the Razorbax — may the stadium survive the afternoon.🐗🐗

💛💙 LADY RAZORBAX PRE‑SEASON: ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK 💙💛

Public service announcement for anyone brave enough to read this:

The Lady Razorbax begin pre‑season THIS THURSDAY, 4pm–5pm at Jubilee Park Stadium.

If you thought the off‑season gave them time to calm down…
Incorrect.
They’ve only gotten stronger, louder, and more allergic to stretching.

Expect scenes such as:

Athletes running like they’re being chased by a magpie

Someone pulling a hamstring just thinking about sprinting

Chaos levels previously only seen during Black Friday sales

Rampage watching from above like “wow… y’all really chose violence today”

If you’re ready to sweat, laugh, and question your life choices, congratulations — pre‑season is calling.

See you Thursday. Up the Razorbax. Bring snacks. And maybe a helmet.

🚨 MERCH & PLAYING GEAR DEADLINE — READ THIS OR REGRET IT 🚨
If you want your Baxter merch or playing gear before the season starts, you have until:

🕔 5pm Sunday

After that, you’ll be turning up to Round 1 looking like a cautionary tale.

And let’s be brutally honest:
Some of you have just now opened your kit bag for the first time since last season and discovered:

🔵a mystery smell
🟡a shirt that could legally be classified as a biohazard
🔵socks that have developed their own ecosystem
🟡a bat that’s basically a plank
🔵and absolutely nothing fit for public viewing

If you miss the deadline, your new gear won’t arrive until after the season starts, which means you’ll be out there looking like you’ve been sponsored by Lost Property.

👉 Shop here:
https://www.playhq.com/cricket-australia/org/baxter-cricket-club/cf16bbc8/shop

Order now. Save yourself. Save your team. Save the nostrils of anyone standing within a 5‑metre radius.

🏏💸 PRE‑SEASON TRAINING TONIGHT — BRING YOUR $10 AND YOUR DIGNITY (IF YOU CAN FIND IT)
Baxter crew, it’s that magical time of year again:
The time where we all pretend we did stay fit over winter and absolutely did not pull a hamstring tying our shoes this morning.

Tonight we’re back at Frankston Indoor Sports
📍 109B Frankston Gardens Dr, Carrum Downs
⏰ 7:10pm – 9pm
💸 $10 each (yes, even if you swear you’ll “only bowl a few”)

What to expect:
Warm‑ups that look like interpretive dance
Someone arriving late with a story that absolutely did not need to be that dramatic
At least one ball flying into a place physics cannot explain
A collective realisation that none of us remember how to catch
The traditional Baxter chorus of “I AM SO UNFIT” echoing through the stadium

Bring your kit, your chaos, and your crisp ten bucks.

The countdown is over… it’s time to kick off a brand new season with the full Baxter family! 💙💛
We’re talking good vibes, good people, and the perfect night to fire up for what’s coming.📅 Tuesday 29th September
⏰ 7:00 PM
📍 Club Rooms
💸 $20 per head
Your ticket gets you finger food + your first drink FREE — beer, wine, soft drink… and even a discounted spirit for those who like to start the season with a little extra swagger.This is the night we come together: players, families, volunteers, supporters — everyone who makes Baxter what it is.
Bring the energy. Bring the laughs. Bring the hype.
Season starts NOW. 🔥

🎉 Frankston parents, rejoice — Council is basically bribing us to let our kids run around in organised chaos!

If you’ve got a Health Care Card or Pension Card, Frankston City Council is offering up to $250 to help cover the cost of getting your kids into local sports, arts, STEM, drama, fitness, Scouts, hobby clubs — basically anything that gets them out of the house and into a group activity.

Yes. You read that right.
Up to 85% off fees… or $250… whichever comes first.
(We love a bargain. We love a discount. We love Council paying for things.)

🧒 Ages: 5–18 years old
📍 Must live in Frankston City
📅 Opens 7 July 2026 — runs until 6 May 2027 or until the money runs out
💸 Covers team sports, art classes, music, drama, STEM, fitness, Scouts, hobby clubs and more
🧾 You just need a quote or invoice from the club/group

So if your kid has been begging to join footy, netball, karate, dance, Scouts, pottery, coding club, drama, or literally anything that involves them leaving the house…
👉 This is your moment.

Apply via SmartyGrants: https://frankston.smartygrants.com.au/CAYIES2627
Need help? Email [email protected] or call 03 9784 1035

Go forth, Frankston families — claim the $$ and unleash your children into wholesome community activities.
Your wallet will thank you. Your sanity will thank you. Your kids will thank you (eventually).

🎉 BAXTER SENIOR REGOS ARE LIVE! 🎉
Yes folks, it’s that magical time of year again — when grown adults voluntarily sign up to spend their weekends chasing a small red ball, arguing about wides, and pretending their hamstrings “feel fine”.

👉 Register here:
https://www.playhq.com/cricket-australia/register/1a378c

But wait… there’s more.
Because what’s cricket without looking outrageously good while doing it?

🧢👕 Merch & Playing Gear is now available!
Fresh kit, crisp colours, and enough Baxter swagger to make your opposition question their life choices.

👉 Shop here:
https://www.playhq.com/cricket-australia/org/baxter-cricket-club/cf16bbc8/shop

So go on — sign up, suit up, and let’s make this season one to remember.
Baxter Cricket Club: where the runs are real, the laughs are loud, and the fashion is elite.

PRE‑SEASON TRAINING
Frankston Indoor Sports
📍 109B Frankston Gardens Dr, Carrum Downs
⏰ 7:10pm – 9pm

BAXTER FAMILY:
It’s time.

Time to gather.
Time to sweat.
Time to question every life choice that led you to pre‑season training on a Monday night.

We’re kicking off at 7:10pm, because nothing says “elite sporting culture” like a start time chosen by someone spinning a wheel.

Tonight you will witness:
🔵Chaos
🟡Confusion
🔵Someone doing warm‑ups that defy both physics and common sense
🟡A ball hitting a roof beam
🔵A player loudly announcing “I AM SO UNFIT” before doing absolutely nothing to fix it
🟡A team bonding experience that could be classified as a mild natural disaster
🔵At least one person sprinting in late holding a half‑eaten servo pie
🟡Someone warming up like they’re preparing for the Olympics despite not being able to touch their toes
🔵A ball flying somewhere it absolutely shouldn’t
🟡A minimum of three existential crises during fielding drills
Pre‑season is back. Your muscles won’t remember how to do anything, your coordination will be questionable, and someone will absolutely forget their kit and try to borrow a left‑handed glove.
Bring your dignity (optional), and your ability to pretend you didn’t spend winter on the couch.
may the cricket gods look away in shame.
Come anyway. We believe in you. Sort of.