Whole Heart Relationships

We fuel the fight by refusing our partner the very thing we want ourselves. Everyone wants to feel seen, heard and understood before they can soften and find a resolution or a temporary compromise.

You can be in conflict for many reasons- from who packed the dishwasher correctly to money and s*x. It’s not the issue it’s self that’s causing the problem. It’s about how you talk (or don’t talk) to one another about the issue.

The road back from tension can be one sentence away. The road to more connection can be one sentence away. The key is a confiding or acknowledging sentence that encourages the other to do the same.

65% of problems in a relationship are unsolvable.
Yep.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a successful, happy, loving relationship. It just means you have to shift your focus from trying to solve them, to getting good at talking about them.
We often get caught up fighting with “but…I’M right” that we end up escalating the conversation or shutting it down completely.
Get good at recognising the problem IS the problem. Not you, not your partner.

Really listening involves: Asking the right questions, empathising, and making the other person feel understood- it’s not as easy as it sounds but it can and will dramatically improve the intimacy in ANY relationship.

And that’s a wrap!
Last little article written for the year in the AMAZING PakMag!

https://pakmag.com.au/parenting/tweens-to-teens/5-tips-for-connecting-with-your-adolescent/

Yesterday I spoke to Mamamia about age-gap relationships . You can listen below 👇🏻

In our late teens and early twenties, many of us date someone who is a little or even a lot older as we experiment with romance, but have your feelings about that relationship changed now you look back on it years later?

Perhaps what seemed like fun at the time now feels a bit creepy or even exploitative? This is the very question that singer Taylor Swift is encouraging us to reflect on, through her own experience dating a much older Jake Gyllenhaal when she was just 20.

Seeing Red: Why Taylor Swift Has Us Re-Evaluating Age-Gap Romances Mamamia Podcasts - The Qu**ky - Seeing Red: Why Taylor Swift Has Us Re-Evaluating Age-Gap Romances

Couples who are satisfied in their relationships, have a positive sentiment that over rides their stories about their partner and relationship.
It’s not that they don’t fight, or have things to complain about.
But their overall view is positive.
You can hear it in the way they talk about their relationship and their partner.
Take some time and reflect on how are you talking about your partner and the relationship.

I often get told that people are reluctant to come to couples therapy because they don't want to be blamed for the current state of the relationship.
That comment alone tells me a lot about how they're feeling in the relationship!
I don't like to focus on one person alone, rather I look at how the couple is engaging with each other. How everyday language and behaviour brings the best, or the worst out of each other.

We would like to pay our respects to the people of the Eora nation and to the elders past, present and emerging. Whose land was not ceded.

Balancing work and home can be difficult.

When our partner’s not home, it’s easy to put blame on them for not helping around the house. Some of the smaller things they do might seem like they should do this without needing a thank you.

But, what if it was you in their shoes?

What if after a long day out of the house you just want to enjoy being home.

What if the only free hour you have at home you help with the dishes. Might not seem like a lot, but when you have limited amount of time, it ends up being all you can do.

And shouldn’t that receive appreciation?

A HuffPost article about expressing appreciation in your relationship, gave some signs to watch out for which might indicate that your partner feels taken for granted and unappreciated

Swipe for the signs.

Not sure how to reconnect with your partner and start showing appreciation? Take a look at my Intimacy Bootcamp. Learn to increase the communication and harmony in your relationship. Link in bio.

The HuffPost article 👉👉👉https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-importance-of-appreciation-in-a-relationship_b_59ad1b54e4b0d0c16bb52671