01/09/2026
Sometimes grief gets blamed for far too much.
In 2021, four years after Tony died, I left a workplace after relentless bullying had pushed me to breaking point.
As part of my WorkCover claim, I was assessed by a psychiatrist. But the moment Tony’s death came up, everything changed.
He dismissed what had happened at work and told me:
“It’s just your grief. You shouldn’t still be grieving after four years. Grief should only last for six months. You need to move on.”
So my claim was rejected, my grief was blamed and my traumatic experience was erased.
And this happens to grievers far too often.
We’re upset by someone’s behaviour? It’s our grief.
We react to an insensitive comment? It’s our grief.
We stand up for ourselves? We must be “stuck” in grief.
But, sometimes grief isn’t the problem. Ignorance is.
If a griever tells you something hurts, believe them. Listen, learn and please do better.
28/08/2026
Grief isn’t one-size-fits-all.
There are different types of grief, and sometimes simply having a name for what you’re experiencing can help you understand it a little better.
You may recognise yourself in one of these… or several ❤️
27/08/2026
I learnt something about shingleback lizards recently that I absolutely love ❤️
They’re one of the few reptiles that form long-term relationships, often finding the same partner again year after year… sometimes for decades.
They’ve even been observed staying beside an injured or dead mate.
Of course, we can’t know what a lizard understands about death or grief... but we do know the bond was there.
And it got me thinking about continuing bonds.
When someone we love dies, the relationship changes enormously, but the bond doesn’t simply disappear.
Love doesn’t need a physical presence to continue ❤️
Who knew a little Aussie stumpy tailed lizard could give us something to think about? ❤️
25/08/2026
Nobody chooses this life.
Nobody asks to lose their person, rewrite their future, or figure out who the hell they are when WE suddenly becomes ME.
But here we are…
learning to live a life we never planned for, while still loving the person who was supposed to be living it with us.
Sending so much love to all my fellow widows and widowers out there, navigating this life plot twist that none of us ever wanted 🫶
