Joan.W.Mwangi - Life Coach

Happy Wednesday!

The truth is you cannot heal what you do not understand, acknowledge or face head on!

This Sunday on Her Rising, we start digging deep into our origin stories.

If you are ready to start peeling the layers, this is an invitation to rediscover yourself.

Join HER Rising- https://www.sublimeflow.com/herrising

®

𝑺𝙝𝒆 𝑭𝙞𝒏𝙖𝒍𝙡𝒚 𝑬𝙭𝒉𝙖𝒍𝙚𝒅
The kind that comes from somewhere deep inside you. Somewhere inside you that's been holding its breath for generations. That’s what freedom looks like after you do the inner healing work. A deep exhale. Not a sigh.. a release of everything you have been carrying for years.

𝙒𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙁𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙮
She stopped auditioning for love she was owed to her. Love that she deserved just as she is. She could sit at the table and no longer shrink to keep the peace. The shame and guilt that used to run her life? She set it down. Not because she stopped loving them or gave up, it is because she finally started including herself in the love.

𝙄𝙣 𝙍𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥𝙨
She stopped mistaking familiarity for safety. Now she can choose herself before auditioning to be chosen. There are no performances, no over-functioning, no earning her place by being useful. She lets herself be poured into without assuming those pouring into her have ulterior motives.

𝙄𝙣 𝙃𝙚𝙧 𝘾𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙧
She stopped negotiating against herself before anyone else even got the chance. She recognized the voice that whispered "who do you think you are?" It wasn't hers.
It belonged to multi-generational survival, to a lineage that couldn't afford to want more because these things were never created for people like her ancestors to enjoy.

So she released the burden and stepped into her power, walked into each room, and each opportunity, without shame knowing that she deserved to be there without a shadow of a doubt, and that her hard work was paying off.

That's the 𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙤𝙢. It’s not about becoming someone new, it’s about allowing the woman who was always underneath the armor rise.

I have seen this woman rise up over and over in the women I coach. This woman can be you.

HER Rising membership is where we deep dive into this work. We peel the onion together and gently, in a circle of women who get it. Where you don't have to perform, where that little girl finally gets what she deserved.

This is an invitation to rediscover yourself.

Join HER Rising- https://www.sublimeflow.com/herrising

®

These trunks are symbolic to attending boarding school in my home country Kenya. The metal ones were used by the majority while the others were used by children from highly privileged families.

𝑺𝒐 𝒍𝒆𝒕’𝒔 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒃𝒐𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒍 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒗𝒊𝒔𝒊𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒖𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒆 𝒔𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒍𝒔.

You were six. Or eight. Maybe thirteen.
You packed your trunk, pressed your new or second hand oversize unflattering uniform, and you were told, “focus on your studies and behave yourself!”

You understood what that meant especially if you were going to “The good school”. You knew you needed to be disciplined in behavior, you needed to suppress who you were and who you were becoming to adhere to your new environment. It was the opportunity your mother and father never had OR it was the family tradition that was expected and not up for discussion.

But here's what was rarely accounted for:
That little girl who cried into her pillow where no one could hear.

She learned that homesickness, the grief, of being uprooted from home to an environment that operated like a prison has nowhere to go, so it goes quiet.

She figured out fast that no one was coming to soothe her at 2am. So she soothed herself. She became capable, composed, and numb. She became the one who handled it and she never stopped.

Going to boarding school at an early age is an early separation that teaches a child to armor up before she's old enough to choose.

For many girls, it wears the costume of 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒕𝒉. The independent one. The one who doesn't need anyone. The one who's "fine."

What we don’t realize if that it is not strength. It is survival.
It is the reason you struggle to receive, why softness feels unsafe, why being cared for makes your skin crawl a little, why you can be strong for everyone except the part of you that's still standing at that dormitory window, waiting for someone to come back for her. She's still in there. And she's tired of being strong.

It's time to put the armor down.

HER Rising is where we deep dive into this work. We peel the onion together and gently, in a circle of women who get it. Where you don't have to perform, where that little girl finally gets what she deserved.

Founding member doors are open now. Come home to yourself.

Join HER Rising- https://www.sublimeflow.com/herrising

®

Happy Wednesday Good People… let’s do a midweek mental check in.

How we are feeling internally deeply affects how we react or respond to the people around us and to life in general. I therefore encourage you to stop sometime today and ask yourself these questions.

📌How am I feeling?

📌What am I going through?

📌What internal resistance am I experiencing?

📌What inner work can I do?

💡Your answers to these questions will help you understand what is going on with you.

💡Your answers will help you determine what kind of love or assistance you need for that moment from the people around you.

💡Your answers will help you understand why you are “asking” for love in the most unloving ways.

Let’s make it a habit to look inward so that we can acknowledge and address our innermost feelings so that we are self aware to recognize when our needs are not met because only then are we able to ask for what we need.

𝐋𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐬 I invite you to join SublimeFlow Jacinta and I in a journey of self discovery and self honor in 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠— A 12-month transformational sisterhood.

Doors are open.

https://www.sublimeflow.com/herrising

She's the one everyone calls.

The friend who shows up with food when someone's grieving. The one who remembers your kids' birthdays, who texts "you good?" before you've even said you're not. The strong one. The dependable one. The one who holds it all together.

And she is so tired of being held together by no one.

Here's what we don't say out loud: some of the loneliest women in the room are the ones surrounded by people. They pour into everyone. They show up for everyone. But somewhere along the way they learned that being needed was safer than being known so they let people lean on them without ever letting anyone in.

Many of us inherited it. We were raised by women who had to be unbreakable because breaking wasn't an option. Strength became survival. Self-reliance became an identity we became proud of and real mutual connection, “you-can-fall-apart-here” connection got left somewhere.

This is part of what we rebuild inside HER Rising.

Not networking. Not the surface "girl, you got this." Real sisterhood. The kind that actually holds you, sees you on hard days, and reminds you that you don't have to earn your place by being useful.

Come let us hold you. Let the woman you're becoming deserves to be witnessed.

𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠— A 12-month transformational sisterhood.

Doors are open.

https://www.sublimeflow.com/herrising

Statements like, “we are a close linked family”, “my mom is my best friend”, “my dad advises me on everything”, “my siblings have to know everything about me” , “she is my ride or die” need some deeper evaluation.

𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙘𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚. 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙚𝙣𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙙!

Many of us confuse enmeshment with closeness. The difference is that closeness has clear boundaries and enmeshment has none. Everyone is in each other’s business and there is an insidious element of control.

The tricky thing about enmeshment is it doesn’t show up as harm. It shows up as love, as loyalty, as support and that’s why it’s so hard to see. Enmeshment is when there is no clear boundary as to where one person ends and the other begins.

It’s a loving mother meddling in her son’s relationships in the name of love, a caring father paying for his married daughter’s expenses and dictating how her household runs, it’s siblings getting involved in each other’s lives in a way that diminishes individual autonomy.

This Saturday, SublimeFlow Jacinta and I are unpacking one of the most misunderstood dynamics affecting families, friendships, marriages, and parent-child relationships.

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐈𝐒 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐋

Understanding Enmeshment in Families, Friendships, and Romantic Relationships
Saturday, June 20th, 12:00 pm EST/7:00 pm EAT

This is the conversation that will make you rethink what you’ve called love, loyalty, family closeness, and “ride or die” dynamics.

If you are a woman that is ready for this convo save your spot using the link below.

You don’t want to miss this conversation.

https://sublimeflow.com/enmeshments

“I got it. I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”

Sis, pay attention to how many times you say these words on a daily basis.

Not because you are actually fine. But because somewhere along the way, you learned that needing help was a luxury you couldn’t afford.

That being the one who holds it together wasn’t just a role, it was survival.

This is what high-functioning codependency looks like in us. It doesn’t look like weakness. It looks like competence. It looks like showing up. It looks like being the strong, efficient responsible one at work, in your family, and every room you walk into.

The sad part about this… no one actually asked you to be this way. You learned it from watching those that came before you and from subliminal messaging in your family.

The unfortunate part is that it is costing you more than you know.

Those automatic phrases like “𝑰 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒊𝒕,” “𝑰’𝒍𝒍 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒕 𝒐𝒖𝒕,” “𝒅𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒆” aren’t just words.

They are nervous system responses. Patterns your body learned to protect you when vulnerability felt dangerous. When asking for too much meant losing love, approval, or safety.

But here’s what I want you to hear: you can’t think your way out of what your body has been doing for decades.

The work happens in the pause. That split second before you say “I’m fine” is where your liberation lives.

In HER Rising, we go there together. We learn to catch ourselves in that moment, to ask what do I actually need right now, and to build the courage to say it out loud.

This isn’t about falling apart. It’s about finally putting yourself down long enough to actually rest and rise.

𝒀𝒐𝒖’𝒗𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈. 𝑰𝒕’𝒔 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒅.

HER Rising is open. Come home to yourself.

https://www.sublimeflow.com/herrising

📸 2026 McLaren at Caffeine and Octane Classic, Exotic and Speciality Vehicle Car Show!
👘 By Malkia E
👜 By Eva Wambui

𝑻𝒐𝒅𝒂𝒚 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒅𝒂𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝑴𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒍 𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒕𝒉 𝑨𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝑴𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉.

This picture is dear to me. It represents 3 generations of first borns at I Am Africa Nairobi back in 2023. A true testament that healing happens in community.

𝑭𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝑩𝒐𝒓𝒏 𝑫𝒂𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒈𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒂𝒎 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒂𝒚 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒖𝒔.

You were the rehearsal child and the role model at the same time.

You raised yourself a little so your siblings could be children.

You learned to read a room before you learned to read a book.

Somewhere along the way, “she’s so strong” became the best yet expensive compliment you’ve ever received.

There is a paradox no one warns you about: the stronger you appear, the less anyone thinks to check on you. The more you carry, the more they hand you.

You become the family’s safety net and nets are never asked how they feel.
So you keep going.
You send the money.
You make the calls.
You hold it all together even when you are thousands of miles away with your own personal obligations.

The exhaustion creeps in.
The guilt of choosing yourself becomes crippling.
The resentment becomes your default setting.
True joy is something you imagine but rarely give yourself permission to experience.

None of that means you’re failing. It means you’ve been pouring from a cup that is rarely refilled.
You are allowed to be held too. You are allowed to rest without earning it. You are allowed to be a daughter — not just a provider.

𝑯𝑬𝑹 𝑹𝒊𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 is a space where we can go back evaluate why a part of you was set aside so everyone else could be okay even when you are not okay. It will be a safe space for you to focus on you and give yourself permission to be tired, to be joyful, to be vulnerable, to be creative, to be YOU without the pressure that comes titles, degrees, and accomplishments.

Tag a first-born daughter who needs to read this today.

📸- Suki(my niece), Me, my mom, SublimeFlow Jacinta, Ciku(my cousin), Njoki(my cousin)

Looking for a healing space? Check out HER Rising membership here:
https://www.sublimeflow.com/herrising

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝘄𝗲𝗯𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗿 𝗼𝗻 𝗙𝗲𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗲 𝗙𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀!

Women are wired to be relational beings who thrive in connection.

Female friendships done right, are deeply nourishing.

However, when not done right, they revive unresolved issues that are sometimes older than the friendship itself.

Sunday’s webinar on female friendships was powerful and engaging.

We explored the power and the beauty of healthy friendship.

We also delicately explored the grief, the emotional labor, the enmeshment, and the nagging ache many of us carry as a result of “friendship issues.”

Often, it is not just about the friend. It’s about older wounds, learned survival patterns, wounded feminine energy.
It’s about the longing to belong, feel safe, and deeply connected.

SublimeFlow Jacinta and I also announced our new sisterhood community, 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠.

A sacred circle for women who are ready to ascend.

It’s for the woman who is ready for more inner calm, deeper groundedness, and a more emotionally anchored way of being.

For the woman that longs to be boundaried and discerning about who is allowed into her inner world.

The woman who wants to become magnetic without becoming passive.

The woman who wants to stop over-giving to feel chosen, she who desires to stop abandoning herself in order to belong, she who wants to have genuine connections.

If you are the woman who dreams about living a life of ease 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 is for you.

The doors are now open at a special Founding Members rate.

And women who join now will also receive access to 2 private masterclasses before the official launch:

✨𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞
𝘏𝘰𝑤 𝘵𝘰 𝘔𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘗𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘍𝘰𝘳𝘤𝘦

✨ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐲
𝘏𝘰𝑤 𝘵𝘰 𝘚𝘵𝑎𝘺 𝘎𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝑎 𝘛𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥.

If you know this work is for you, check out HER Rising membership here,

https://www.sublimeflow.com/herrising

Sunday’s replay has been emailed out.

If you didn’t get a chance to register, comment REPLAY below and we’ll send it to you 👇🏾