*This is episode 2 of “What Nobody Taught You About Or**sm.” Follow for the education your mama never gave you.*
But first…let me tell you a story. 📚
In 2018, my friend Andrea Barrica — founder of the s*x ed platform O.school — handed me a 3D printed cl****is.
I was 35 years old. And it was the first time I had ever seen the full anatomy of a cl****is.
I stood there holding this object and I felt everything at once. Angry. Liberated. Emotional. Angry that I was never taught this. Liberated that I was finally learning it — even at 35. And emotional for every woman who has never been taught her full anatomy either.
Because here’s the thing it’s not our fault we didn’t know.
The full anatomy of the cl****is wasn’t accurately mapped until **1998** by **Dr. Helen O’Connell**, Australia’s first female urologist. Before her research, the cl****is was either omitted entirely from medical textbooks or described as a tiny, insignificant structure. It wasn’t until **2005** that the first MRI study of the cl****is was published — also by Dr. O’Connell — finally revealing what we now know: that 90% of the cl****is lies *beneath the surface.* That it has a head, a shaft, and legs. That it is a vast, magnificent, multiplanar structure whose sole purpose is pleasure.
The p***s was accurately described by Hippocrates in **35 BCE.**
The cl****is had to wait until **1998.**
Let that land.
After that day in 2018, I started to slow down. I started touching my body differently. I started mapping my own anatomy of pleasure — learning my own pleasure zones for the very first time.
Your body was designed for pleasure. And it is never, ever too late to learn more about your s*xuality. 🌹
I offer 1:1 private coaching for women who are ready to reclaim their pleasure and s*xuality.
The Bougie Bruja
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I am a conscious sex and relationship coach who is deeply passionate about all things women empowerment, spirituality, and deep inner healing.
I help women fall in love with their bodies, reclaim their sexuality, and remember their power. I'm a sex and relationship coach. I help women heal their trauma so they can feel pleasure in their bodies and every conscious moment of their life. I'm a certified life coach and currently training at The Tantric Institute of Integrated Sexuality. The VITA™ coaching method is a unique system that incor
07/10/2026
You’re enough, right now.
Not tomorrow.
Not when you’ve lost weight.
Not when the business finally makes real money.
Not when you stop feeling behind everyone your age.
Not when he chooses you first, without you asking.
Not when the relationship looks like it’s supposed to.
Not when you’re not scared of being left.
Not when you’ve proven you don’t need his money, his help, his last name.
Not when your parents finally say they’re proud.
Not when the numbers in the account stop making you panic.
Not when you’ve built something impressive enough to justify resting.
You are enough, RIGHT NOW.
07/09/2026
Hi, I want you to meet my v***a (plushie). You’ll get to know her soon.
Tomorrow I’m posting a reel about the cl****is as Episode 2 of my What Nobody Taught You About Or**sm series.
And I can’t help but think back to a moment 8 years ago when I was sitting at brunch with a group of mothers, asking about the kind of s*x education they were thinking about giving their teens.
My daughter had just come home with a permission slip for s*x ed. And I realized I had no idea what I was going to say to her. What I was going to teach her. What I even knew myself.
So I brought the question to brunch. And when I asked it, the table got quiet.
And I thought to myself: “Wow. Here we are, grown ass women. Successful. Brilliant. In our mid to late 30s. We have kids, which means clearly we’ve had s*x. And there’s still a layer of shame just to talk about it. To talk about how we’re gonna educate our own children.”
That moment was the start of my journey.
Because this work didn’t come easy for me. I wasn’t the woman who had it figured out. I was the woman holding a permission slip, realizing I didn’t have language for my own body, my own pleasure, my own story. I grew up in a traditional Catholic Filipino household where s*x, money, and relationships were NEVER discussed. And like many women I still carried the cultural conditioning of women’s s*xuality and pleasure was for the male gaze.
At the time I was already known as The Queen of Messy Conversations— talking about things on the internet most health and wellness influencers wouldn’t touch: depression, s*xual abuse, the impact of intergenerational trauma, my personal journey of reclaiming my s*xuality and exploring non-monogamy.
But even then, I was still learning. Still unlearning. Still finding words for what no one ever gave me words for.
And here I am, 8 years later. Still in those conversations. Still learning and unlearning as I move into my 40s. The only thing different is I’m holding the v***a plushie on camera and sharing what I’ve discovered through my formal training and journey with you.
Episode 2 drops tomorrow. 🌹
What if everything you thought you knew about or**sm was just... the beginning?
Every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday I’m dropping a new episode of What Nobody Taught You About Or**sm” an 8-part series built to move you from confusion and disconnection into the full, embodied pleasure you were designed for.
Your body isn’t a problem to solve. She’s a miracle to explore.
Episode 1: What Nobody Taught You About Or**sms
Most of us have been chasing something our whole lives without realizing we were chasing the wrong thing.
✨There’s a difference between a climax and an
or**sm.✨
And that one distinction, that single reframe, has the power to change your entire relationship with your body and your pleasure.
Not because something was wrong with you.
But because nobody ever taught you.
Follow so you catch every single one.
Share it with a friend so you’re not the only one holding the wisdom.
**sm
07/08/2026
I used to feel so guilty when I wanted to pleasure myself. When I was younger, I was more focused on my partner’s pleasure instead of my own because it’s what I thought I was “supposed” to do. Then I became a mom and self-pleasure became the last of my priorities.
I didn’t start truly reclaiming my s*xuality and pleasure until I was 35 and to be honest I didn’t know that I needed to until my ex husband and I had to break down our meaning of s*x vs intimacy through therapy.
That question cracked something open in me.
Because if I didn’t know what s*x actually meant to me, then of course I didn’t really know what I liked, what I wanted, or what I needed to feel safe in my own skin.
I had built my s*xuality on other people’s rules and then wondered why it never fully fit. I had my family’s stories, religion’s stories, porn’s stories, my friends’ stories.
But my own desires? My own language for pleasure? Blank.
I started asking different questions.
What if intimacy could be the way I talk to myself when I’m naked in the mirror?
What if s*x could include the slow, devotional way I moisturize my body after a shower, tracing my own curves with curiosity instead of criticism?
What if pleasure didn’t need to be earned by being “good,” or “productive,” or “accommodating,” but was something I was already worthy of, just because I exist?
I started experimenting with different pleasure experiments.
Lighting a candle and taking an extra 10 minutes in the shower to actually feel the water on my skin instead of rushing through like I was in a car wash.
I began treating self-pleasure less like a dirty secret and more like a slow conversation with my own body. Less about “finishing,” more about listening. What do you like? What feels good? What do you need to feel safe, open, and alive?
Reclaiming my or**sms turned out to be so much more than just “better s*x.”
It became a pathway into healing: healing my relationship with my body, with intimacy, with worthiness, with the parts of me that had been taught to disappear so everyone else could be comfortable.
Swipe through for 10 things I discovered about pleasure and or**sms that no one ever taught me growing up.
I’ve been reclaiming the word “p***y” since 2018 and not just because it’s provocative.
I was tired of a culture that used that word to mean weak, fragile, less than… while simultaneously demanding that the very same body part be available, pleasing, and quiet.
So I started an experiment:
What if “p***y” was no longer an insult, but an altar?
What if I treated her like a portal instead of a problem?
What if I believed my p***y was wise, powerful, and sacred… even when the world told me to be ashamed of her?
Reclaiming this word has looked like:
✨ naming my boundaries without apologizing,
🥰 choosing lovers who honor my body,
❤️🩹healing the shame I inherited from family, church, and culture,
🎉 and remembering that my pleasure is not a luxury. It’s medicine.
If the word “p***y” still makes you flinch, you’re not wrong or broken. It just means you’ve been well trained by the patriarchy, religious stories, and cultural conditioning.
And you are allowed to unlearn that training.
You are allowed to call your p***y sacred.
You are allowed to choose a new story.
Tell me in the comments:
When you hear the word “p***y,” what comes up in your body first?
07/04/2026
Pleasure is not on the other side of your healing.
It is how you heal.
I know this because I lived it.
I went through a period of grief that brought me to my knees. I had done the therapy, the somatic work, the spiritual practice. And still, some mornings I woke up and felt completely far away from myself.
What brought me back was pleasure.
Something as small as adorning myself with something beautiful before a call.
Moving my body to my favorite playlists even when my mind didn’t want to.
Letting myself be seen in sisterhood and community.
Remembering that I was still alive inside this body.
Pleasure was the thing that kept returning me to myself when everything else felt like too much.
Pleasure is not a reward for surviving the hard thing.
It is the resource that helps you move through it.
It shifts your chemistry.
It brings you back into your body.
It reminds you that there’s so much to be grateful for even if you’re moving through a dark night of the soul.
If you’ve been in a season of grief, loss, or disconnection and you’re wondering why nothing seems to be working it might not be that you need another modality of healing.
It might be that you need more pleasure.
If you’re ready to stop white-knuckling your way through and actually come back to life,
I have space for private 1:1 coaching.
Safety isn’t the opposite of pleasure.
It’s the foundation of it.
Your body won’t open to what it doesn’t trust.
And no amount of trying harder, wanting more,
or pushing through will change that.
When we build real safety in the body, in relationship, in self; pleasure stops being something you chase and starts being something you embody.
This is the work I do inside Becoming, my six-month 1:1 container.
We start with attachment repair, move into desire and pleasure work, and close with embodied living so the changes don’t just happen in session, they become who you are.
If you’re ready to stop white-knuckling your way toward pleasure, joy, and ease and actually build the conditions for it the link in my bio will take you straight to booking a call with me. Let’s find out if we’re a fit. 🌹
I work with an intimate number of private clients each season.
Pleasure is not frivolous.
Pleasure is feedback.
Pleasure is wisdom.
Pleasure is a way home.
So if you have been feeling disconnected, numb, exhausted, or far away from yourself, maybe the question is not what is wrong with you.
Maybe the question is:
What would it look like to return to your body?
To listen to your desire?
To honor what is true?
To follow your pleasure?
If this opened something in you and you’re ready for deeper, more personalized support, I currently have space for private 1:1 coaching. This is intimate, high-touch work for the woman ready to deepen her self-trust, pleasure, and relationship with her body.
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