09/16/2026
Weekend recap. We just spent three days in Mexico at a couples mastermind with Andy Elliott and Jacqueline Elliott , and here’s what I learned.
I was sabotaging my own journey in business by using Matt’s past as an excuse. I never said out loud that I was afraid to grow because in the past, my growth led to us drifting apart. Part of me was holding onto old versions of him that don’t exist anymore. I was afraid of growing my company and having it rip us apart again and I realized I don’t have to be anymore. I trust that this new season will continue to bring us closer, even if we have separate businesses.
We also realized we need to have more fun and let business be business. We are literally going to time block when we can and can’t talk about work.
Then there was this moment when Matt jumped off the top of the boat and I wanted to too. I waited for him to come back up so we could jump together. It was the weirdest thing because although I know I’m afraid of heights, I also knew I was capable. But when I looked at him and he said, “Trust me,” my body actually fell apart. To everyone else, it looked like I was afraid to jump, and I used my fear as an excuse to brush them off. But what really happened was my nervous system was trying to view that moment as dangerous because for many years, it was.
I ended up jumping off the top when no one was looking, but I laid in the water trying to figure out what just happened and why I buckled. I was sad when I realized it was because I still had issues trusting him. Yes, we’ve had seven years of not-so-greatness. So much anger, aggression, resentment and bitterness. But we AREN’T in that season anymore, and this weekend showed me that I never took the time to retrain my nervous system to see him differently.
The growth felt really good and I just wanted to run with it, but when I found myself disconnected and lost, I knew I had bulldozed instead of healed.
It’s my job to release it and move forward. Not days. Not weeks. Not years. I KNOW I need to trust this new version of Matt, and I can release the fear and pain that belong to an old season.
Don’t hold on. Release.